Partner asking me to 'cover up'

[Hurryupchristmas]

I abolutely adore my boyfriend, he is wonderful and treats me so well.

However he can be quite jealous/paranoid in certain situations.
One of which is when I go out with friends he's asked me to wear tops that completely cover my breasts, so no cleavage shows.
I have large boobs and yes they can attract attention from men on nights out, however it's not something I can control nor would I act on now I'm in a relationship.

He is quite adamant I'm not to wear certain tops and wants to see what I'm wearing before I go out. I understand his concerns about men looking at my chest, but feel a bit miffed I can't wear what I want. I dress pretty conservatively but a lot of my tops show the size of my boobs and I can't help that.

I don't know who is in the right to be honest, he says its like him going out showing off his crotch area but I don't think it's a similar comparison 🤔

I don't want to make him annoyed and feel uneasy when I'm out, but at the same time I want to dress up and look nice when I go out with friends. Am I being unreasonable?

I know more than one woman for whom the start of the abusive relationship wa sbeing told what she could and couldn't wear.

YOU and you alone are in charge of your body. No one else gets to decide what clothes you put on it and how much of it you reveal.

Your body, your choice op.

Someone has no friends of their own.

i would sit down with him & just say look, I’ll wear what the fuck I wanna wear, simple as that. Then you’ll soon see the reaction you get from this paranoid Peter! Or narcissist Ned!

the only thing he should be saying to you before you go out is, you look beautiful.

Walk. while you can....

Leave. It’s toxic and unhealthy.

Red flag
this says more about him than you-he needs to assess his issues or bye bye
be careful xxx

This is how it started for my daughter,2yrs later a tried to kill her twice .
Huge red flag

Massive red flag. This is the beginning. Believe me.

I’d just wear what you want and tell him you have absolutely no intention of ‘covering up’. I agree he is exhibiting controlling behaviour but you can stand your ground and see what happens.

It's a red flag.
Just don't do it. He's lovely? No.. he's not he's controlling.
At the moment, it's controlling what you wear. Next it will be something else.
Laid back people, don't control people.

Of course you’re not being unreasonable. Run for the hills, he will not change he will get worse

I’m well endowed in the boob department and I’ve yet to meet a man who objected!! As long as you’re not actually spilling out of something what’s his problem?! First step in controlling behaviour, continue seeing him at your peril!!!

It will be a wonderful start until a couple of years into your relationship/marriage if not sooner. People show their true colours once they secure the relationships. Red flags to me, who married for 20 years and has seen enough...

I'm so glad you've realised how unacceptable your partner's behaviour is. Good for you!

I think you answered your own question OP. You want to wear what you want, and so you should.
Tell him you can help work with him on his insecurities but that you will not be continuing on in a controlling relationship if he loves you. Major red flag if you ask me and I think you need to follow your own moral compass here. Good luck! 🙂

Oh lord above! No-one knowingly gets with an abusive partner, they slowly drag you into their manipulative world which you are already questioning. Get the fuck out!!

Please listen to these comments. My daughter is in a relationship like this. It started with how she dressed on nights out with friends. It’s escalated to the point of him always knowing where she is and who she's with. She now dresses in baggy clothes and barely wears make up because ‘it’s not worth the hassle’
I promise this is just the beginning.

Sorry, no. My husband would pick me out (and buy me) the most revealing clothes that he likes to see me on to go out with the girls. He would tell me to go enjoy free drinks from all the men that will buy me them because he knows I would never act on any advances from men and actually finds it flattering when other men are attracted to me.
I could never be with someone who would police my outfits, no way. Red flag to me. He is insecure.

Um, your husband is policing your outfits. Just at the other end of the spectrum…

Um, your husband is policing your outfits. Just at the other end of the spectrum…

His behaviour is deeply sleazy, as well. I hope one of those blokes doesn't turn nasty on you after expecting a return for all those drinks and not getting it, poster.

Huge red flag. This is the start of it and you’re already questioning him. It will continue and get worse. He’s manipulating and controlling. He treats you well etc but in return you have to do as he says? Run

Get rid ASAP.......

Nah, he isn't at all. I choose what I wear 100% of the time. I am saying this is what he would do... If he were to choose my outfit. It's why I said he would and not he does. And it's only a joke thing, I don't even drink 😂

But he is policing your outfits if he’s picking them out for you just at the complete opposite end of the spectrum.

I actually find his attitude as bad as one who says cover up. It’s like he gets off on other men fancying you - that’s rather creepy and sleazy imo.