Husband makes us have a horrible time if its something he didn't want to do/go - is this common?

[camillarthur297]

I have noticed lately my husband makes our entire trip/day out painful if he didn't want to originally go somewhere. I on the other hand quite frequently go to his family/friends events with a smile on my face (some I don't always want to do) - I am starting to feel resentful towards him. An example is we socialised with his friends/family 2 or 3 nights in a row, and I asked if next weekend we could go without drinking and do something not hungover. I asked to go to a food market, and the entire drive up there he didn't say a word, didn't say a word walking around the market (face like a slapped a$$!) would answer with yes or no answers. It really is starting to bring my mood down.
He does this quite often, we went to a museum once and didn't talk the whole drive down (2 hours) if I accuse him of this he says im crazy and hes absolutely fine.
Surely every so often you should do things your other half wants to do, and not sulk about it? Or are other peoples husbands like this... is it more common than I think?!!

Mine used to do this, and my friends report similar. Or the more subtle arrive at a place and stand there passively 'waiting' while I looked at stalls/exhibits etc. Or say 'we're here. What do you want to do then?' Sucked every bit of pleasure out of it, but if challenged 'I've not done anything wrong. You wanted to come and I have. What have I said....?'
With current one, unless I have enthusiastic agreement I go with someone else. I also no longer go places I don't want to and fake interest.

It's normal behaviour for alcoholics.

No it's not the norm and you shouldn't settle for it. Next time there's something you wanna do - get a girlfriend and go with her (or alone). It's not fair that the things you want to do are then tarnished by pandering to his bad mood. My partner would go anywhere I wanted to and be enthusiastic even if it wasn't his idea of fun...likewise the other way around. X

No not normal.

Red flag when he calls you crazy when you point out his sulking/silent treatment. Gaslighting!

He sounds like my ex... who is a narcissist.

@5128gap omg yes! when challenged, then I am the one starting an argument, or "making an issue?" when he is "completely fine" - when he is standing there passively dead quiet. I mean literally how do you deal with that, when they are pretending to be fine but sucking the energy out of the time, like looking at the floor or being on there phone

If he's worth it in other ways, the best thing is to only go places with him when you know he's enthusiastic and go with someone else if he isn't. Because challenging it leads to an argument that justifies going home and makes it 'your fault', and ignoring it and taking your time to enjoy it anyway doesn't work either. It just escalates to sighs, foot tapping and 'we've seen everything now, surely?' and 'traffics going to be a nightmare' etc.

Firstly I would LTB but if you’re not prepared to do that then match him at his game.
I used to ask my narcissistic ex how long he would be ignoring me for so I would know.

My df was the life and soul of any event he wanted to attend. If he wasn't interested he just found an excuse not to do it, which inevitably meant my DM missed out as she wouldn't go on her own in case people commented. My siblings and I would encourage her to go solo so she didn't miss out but she never would.