Online dating: Guys Just Want Casual Sex

[Findinlovee]

I’m 39 and struggling to go on dates with men who are looking for a relationship.

The vast majority of men who like my profile and try to message me are men who ‘aren’t sure’ or looking for ‘casual.’ I’m on Hinge and Bumble. I’ve went on a few dates with a few men last year, and even though they claimed to want a relationship, it soon became clear they wanted something casual.

Is it my age that’s the problem? Where can I try to meet more serious minded men?

So did I...but I have two relatives who found their wives on Tinder.

One was looking for a life partner - he and his wife now have three children. The other, so far as I'm aware, just wanted a girlfriend. They moved in together, lived together for a few years and have been married for two. He's a stepfather to two teens.

@Pinkbonbon
100% agree with you

Me too. This myth that single women can get good sex on tap is just that - a myth.

Ive been single 5 years and can count on the fingers of one hand the offers I’ve had in that time. Obviously not including the chancers from OLD who are 20 years my senior or 25 stone who I wouldn’t touch with barge pole

The good quality men who we might potentially want sex with is absolutely minimal. There are hardly any men I’ve met since I’ve been single that I’d think about kissing let alone getting naked with

So I’d say if you have standards then no it’s not easy to get decent sex as a woman

ZOMBIE THREAD

But it's led to an interesting discussion, yes? and is still a very relevant topic.
🙄 Nearly half of the total posts have been made in the last few days.

Why would anyone feel the need to self-importantly post ZOMBIE THREAD (with the big alarmist capitals and all?) It's not one of those discussions that has gone out of date and already been resolved.

Well at least I'm honest and mention what I'm looking for in the first couple of messages. Women normally thank me for my honesty.

I suspect the real issue here is not my method of delivery, but more the fact that I've pointed out it's an old thread at all. It's probably made you feel self-conscious, so you feel the need to attack my method of delivery and insult me as a way to get me back somehow 🙄

Old threads popping up are still annoying and I appreciate it when other people point out that it's a zombie thread, as do many others. My notice was actually quite understated compared to how some do it.

I’ve got a lot more respect for men who are upfront about wanting casual sex than the ones who pretend they’re looking for a relationship and waste our time

The last guy I dated was 5‘9, he was gorgeous and incredibly smart. It didn’t work out as we were incompatible but If we had more in common I wouldn’t give a sh@t about height. I am 5‘7.

Totally agree. There is nothing wrong with being honest. You give people the right to choose. Otherwise you are a liar.
You see though, the quality of sex is not the same with someone casual versus someone who falls in love with you. Narcissists usually pretend they want a relationship so that they make the woman fall for them and then get high quality sex.

@Kds1986thismustbelove Bro, what are you doing. This is mumsnet. You will receive some very nasty and hateful comments if you try to date people on a site like this.

Have you joined groups? Running groups or a hobby? Friends of friends? Work?

100% this