My bf has forgotten it’s my birthday today

[fairiesrus]

We work together away from home one night a week. We have been together for four years. He hasn’t wished me a happy birthday yet and I’m devastated. I keep dropping hints like ‘My daughter can’t wait until I get home tomorrow as she has bought me a present’ (daughter from previous relationship), nothing! Also, ‘Remind me what you bought your mum for her birthday last week’ 😏 Does this mean he doesn’t really love me? Am I overreacting? Just feel so sad.

Is bf short for boyfriend or best friend? He’s my boyfriend, although maybe not for long 😭😭😭

Yeah it’s a bit rubbish. But some people just don’t value /remember birthdays
is he normally like this ?

also men don’t get hints - you have to be direct . No point hoping he will pick up on innuendo!

Shall I say to him ‘When is my birthday?’

I assume you an adult. Just tell him it's today.

I wouldn't drop hints, I'd tell him you've forgotten my birthday and it's really annoyed me

Why have you not just said? 'It's my birthday today'

You have been together 4 years not 4 weeks it shouldn't be an awkward conversation

Why didn't you tell him in advance? Just bring it up in conversation before the day. It seems like a test

Have you dropped any hints in the last month / few weeks / few days that your birthday was coming up? Eg I be treating myself to a X for my birthday or wouldn’t it be lovely to go to / do x for my birthday?

If you’ve dropped no hints at all in advance it seems a bit harsh to expect him to remember unless he’s usually extremely organised around all dates and events.

I wouldn’t have dropped hints today, I would have been direct and asked “what’s the plan for my birthday today?” this morning!

Happy Birthday too!

I think it's really daft to be upset by this and to not say anything? By not telling him you are making yourself miserable to prove a point.

Do you remember and celebrate/gift on his birthday? If yes then phone him and say you've been waiting all day, when is he going to wish you a happy birthday because the day is almost over.

That's shit. Happy birthday! What did he do on your previous birthdays?

Happy birthday ! But you should tell him while there's time to make it right =)

I never understand how people don't just naturally have a conversation about things like this in the days / weeks leading up.

Something like 'I was thinking of getting us a takeaway Tuesday night as it's my birthday, what do you fancy?' would be pretty standard in our house.

Just dropping hints and saying nothing direct won't do you any favours OP.

Just tell him

Sure he's not go a surprise fort you? He must be pretty dense to miss your hints! If he's that dense just tell him!

This. Stop making a martyr out of yourself and say something.

I just think it's mental when people forget birthdays - especially their own partner!
This would really upset me too OP.
Happy Birthday 🩷

Oh God just be an adult and tell him.

Message him to say , I can’t WAIT any longer MY BIRTHDAY SURPRISE MUST BE HUGE !!!!

It's weird that he would forget your birthday, but it's a redeemable offense. I would have told him by now though, the night is almost over.

I see your point though, I would be a bit tender about my DH forgetting my birthday completely. It's ok if he eventually remembered later in the day. I forget sometimes too but your partner seems totally oblivious.

Does he not have a calendar he uses on his phone? We always put birthdays on it. Maybe try that in the future.

My ex forgot my birthday once, only when someone asked him what I had nice and he remembered and panicked.
He said I should of told him but I don't think you should have too.
Maybe he's planning something and it's all a big surprise!x

Happy Birthday.

My DP completely ruined one of my birthdays too, we live together so no excuse 😰.

He 100% knew it was my birthday. I opened cards and gifts from other people, the cards were on the sideboard. He did not wish me Happy Birthday at any point even let alone a gift or card or food or cake….the whole 24 hours so I ended up going to bed in tears.

I went out in the end mid afternoon and bought myself a cake and some plants from a garden centre to cheer myself up and just presumed he had planned something for the evening, maybe? I still feel really sad about it all these years later. I never got an explanation or a belated present.

If you want me to remember your birthday you need to look me in the eye and say ‘it’s my birthday today/tomorrow/next year’. This includes my own children 🤦‍♀️.

Some people are just not birthday people.

But I NEVER expect anyone to remember mine, it’s just not that important to me.

Tell him straight!! CBA with all the passive aggressive hint dropping.