Letting DP lean on me too much financially

[Pegasus41]

I think I’ve been a bit too financially generous to DP, who is currently experiencing financial hardship, which should improve in the long term, but right now it’s pretty bad. I’ve been paying for everything and as his car (old and beyond repair) just had to be scrapped, I bought him a new used car. My thinking was partly that it can be used as a family car, we have 3 kids between us, and we do quite a bit together with all of us, though we haven’t moved in with each other yet. But I think I’ve let my heart rule my head on the financial front, and am not sure how to claw back more boundaries around money.

It's so sad. Please want better for yourself and your children, OP.

For god sake don't Move in with him cock lodger comes to mind.
I'm afraid I'd be finding a new partner as I would not be wanting to keep giving money to a man that I could be saving for my own children's future. X

I knew I knew your username @Pegasus41. Posters talking about the gym membership jogged my memory.

These are all from your many threads about this total fucking cocklodger. I cannot believe you think this guy is a good’un. Because he sounds genuinely appalling. And I’m so sorry you can’t see it.

and he is now hinting he would like to borrow money from me to go to court for his childcare arrangements

DP has no money to put into it, all his equity is tied up in an investment flat we co-own and rent out. My issue is that he’s just told his son (age 8) that we’re pooling our resources to buy a big place together where we can all live and he showed him the house online. (I’mbuying it not the two of us

I however have met no one in his life. He says he’s very serious about us, hopes we can live together in the future & that he loves me very much

feeling a bit dismayed that us socialising with my friends and family doesn’t work very well. He doesn’t have much of a filter, that’s part of the problem: he will blurt out

It’s partly because he has no money until he gets his settlement. I understand, but I also felt sad.

And this one’s a real doozy…he’ll help you out if you buy him things… 🤯🤯🤯

He then said he wanted to cancel his membership. But then I asked him to help me return some parcels — I’m a lone parent with two young kids - and he said he’d do all errands like this for me if I bought him one item of clothing per month. I said how about I just keep you on my David Lloyd membership?

And you’re buying a rather lovely house in Oxfordshire with paddocks and ponies that he’s putting nothing into but has designs on moving in…. He’s done a real number on you.

He wouldn't even stop by the post office for you, without turning it into a transaction whereby you buy him an item of clothing!

He's not giving in terms of his time or effort.

He was abrasive with your friends to the point where you don't socialise with them and him at the same time.

He's not giving in terms of his mindset, manners or respect.

He didn't want to introduce you to his family or friends.

He's not giving in terms of sharing the good parts of his life and world with you.

He told his son that you and he were pooling money to buy a family home.

He's not giving with the truth, or even giving credit where it is due.

Does he pay you back the money he's accepted from you?

If not, then he's not giving in terms of money either.

How is he a 'very giving' person?

I'm wondering why you can't see that you're absolutely being fleeced by this con man?

I get the feeling that OP isn't listening...

@Pegasus41 any thoughts on the unanimous replies? Are these threads not helping you?

Sadly not.
He's going to bleed her dry and treat her like shit and it'll be her children that suffer the most.

It's genuinely really sad. She's clearly vulnerable and desperate for love. Men who exploit that are scum.