Fab & Glam Part 4 - Spring into Happiness!

[Paddlechick666]

Good Lord people, we've filled a thread up in about 6 weeks!

Anyways, here's a link to the venue Tanee suggested for a picnic:

www.coramsfields.org/index.php

Looks fabulous so let's get planning!

ps: sorry for London/Southern centric take on this but we'll plan hits around the rest of the country too I promise.

pps: Lily, get yer butt on FB woman!

Thats true lily. But also, I have to learn to look at him through fresh eyes, I have to change my pattern of behaviour, the way I react and respond to him in order to prevent him kicking off. When I first read the book I was both relieved and excited but also scared. It was a relief to have actually found an answer after all these years but it puts quite a lot of responsibility onto me. The good thing is that I have been able to very gently tell him that I suspect he has a problem, he has listened and in his own way, he has agreed. That is a very positive step forward for him. I was also pleased to read that he is not a bad person, he doesn't intend to be the way he is, it is a deep pshycological fear that is the cause. All these years I have stuck by him because I could see something in him that wasn't physically visible but I knew was there, now I feel I know what that is.

Ooh I remember baby poo's very well. When my little angel was just a few days old I was changing her nappy when P rang me so, I had the phone lodged between my shoulder and chin (or chins as it was then!) and had her bum raised, legs held in the air, like you do, ready to wipe her, just at that moment she projectile pooed, right in my face and all over my white top! I couldn't scream cos it would have gone in my mouth

I'm with you Lily, forget the gym and stash the biccies!! Gok watsisname is ace isn't he? We should ask him to 'Gok' the Teabags

definately GOK the teabags surely some of you ladies with the fab jobs have connections Sadly i don't could maybe get a group of teenagers to GOK us but not quite the same

ewww at poo story TFM!!

I don't want to lose weight at the gym but I think bingo wings at 30 are not sexy so a bit of toning up won't go amiss!!

And I have my gorgeous sexy knickers planned for tomorrow night!! We're going straight over into town after the party (providing ds falls asleep in his pram and my mum takes him home for me ) and I feel that sexy knickers are definitely required!!

Love the idea of knickers that come so high that you can push the excess into your bra!!!

Hi,
This is just a quick one as I'm in a rush to get the boys stuff packed up to go to their Nan's.
Just wanted to say Happy Birthday to Baffy as I don't think I'll get on here tomorrow.
Have a fabulous party and we'll look forward to seeing the photos on FB (not of the knickers though
Your H is a prize twat to have lost you and he will see it one day. I wonder if she has some hold over him, either something she knows which she is threatening to tell if he leaves her or maybe she's making suicide threats or something. Who knows - anyway the fact that he won't give her up is his loss.
So enjoy your last night in your twenties and here's to your thirties being the best decade ever.

Here you go Baffy, sexy but safe!

simplyyoursuk.drct2u.com/productcache/BYS/BO6415/SC509TX.html.gz

I am wishing you the best birthday ever! Have a fantastic time! I will be thinking of you, well, up until about 10 o'clock I will be thinking of you, I will probably be fast asleep after that. Us 'pensioners' just don't have the stamina, bungo wings at thirty are the least of your problems!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! XXX

Thank you for all the birthday wishes

I shall be spending the last night of my twenties with a glass of wine (or 3) and bottles of moisturiser, false tan and nail varnish!

Will catch up soon xx

29.9999999999 and counting nearly there Baffy have a good one

Hi all sorry been lurking again - struggling a bit - think H feels me backing off and is trying harder - trying it on phoning texting ...but really no real changes...
Have also had to remortgage my house to dig us out of this financial black hole we are in
Have spent days sorting through paperwork that has piled up and just so sad - 2 years ago - we had NO debt 5 properties and a business and a lovely flat in spain (bought as a family getaway )...now it has all fallen apart and because he looked for support somewhere else and couldn't support me Baffy I see so many similarities between us and our H's....and I am still bailing us/him out - but if I don't he will drag me under with him and I won't be able to keep my house ........
I just don't know where to go next....and I can't believe that 2 years later I am still in this position.....
TFM have been watching you with respect you will make a wonderful counsellor
HW am so sorry that this has brought all your feelings to the surface
Everyone else take care and BAFFY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY

McD sory things so shitty for you you do know my dp is a mortgage advisor don't you if you need any help he has an ad on mnet here

Happy Birthday Baffy I hope you are having a wonderful day xxx

Thank you MacD

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Hope the party went well and you had a lovely day Baffy and your head isn't too bad today

Looked up family law specialists (need new lawyer as my old one acted for both of us against OW when she was harassing me)...looked up local relate and mediation offices ...now just need to tell H

McD (((hugs))) what's happened ?

I had to DOUBLE the mortgage on my house to bail us out and I can't see it ending - he is in the pub every day and I assume supporting the OW baby (who knows) - he comes and goes as he pleases and keeps trying to get me into bed (power/control thing I think) - I just want out I am not his mother or his wife anymore - just fed up I guess and going back to work in 5 weeks not helping - am really worried how he will handle DD2 (he is going to have her one day a week)....as he has spent so little time with her he doesn't know her routine her cues and she doesn't really know him at all

Oh Mcd poor you. You are right to make steps to put an ened to all this walking in and out f your and dds life but i can imagine broaching it with him is very hard. Can't begin to understand how hard this must be on you esp if he is going to look after dd. She will be fine i am sure and if anything like dd2 she will have a good set of lungs to let him know if she isn't happy. Can imagine the fact you are having to work to pay double the mortgage through his doing, whilt he get's dd would stick in my throat though
You are doing a marvellous job though you really are !

Thank you for the birthday wishes

My party went really well and I was overwhelmed with the turnout and the generosity of everyone. I really was lost for words.

The weekend was filled with mixed emotions for me. So grateful to have the most amazing friends and family. And so hollow and empty without H. The first birthday in 15 years I have spent without him.
I could barely eat on Saturday I just felt so sick.
I really cannot believe what he has done to me for this girl. It's really sunk in that it's over, because of her, and it's hard to take.

I'm ok though. Just feeling old!

Macd I'm so sorry I can't believe the amount of bailing out you have to do! I totally understand. Although not on the same scale as you. But you're so frightened of them bringing you down with them, that you don't have much choice do you.
I think that's my main incentive for the divorce now. If nothing else we need to start protecting ourselves (emotionally and financially) xx

Hi Baffy, glad you enjoyed your party. Sorry you are feeling down about H and the slapper, it will take time to get over and I doubt if you will ever understand why he's done this, but it will get better and one day you'll find you just don't care any more. Just take it one day at a time for now.
MacD - it sounds like you are at the end of your tether with him and he's really pushed you to your limit. You are doing the right thing to push things along now. How do you think he'll react when you tell him?
I have a request - could you all please not talk to each other today as I've got a day off to clean my filthy house and I must not come on here again till its done, not even to check!!! If anyone spots me lurking please slap me and tell me to go away

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Hi Everyone

Well it is not cancer - just a high grade cell change. Relieved at that but now have to keep a close eye on it and will have to return in 4-6months to check he has removed it all. Bloody hope so there is not much left to remove if not!!!!!!

Anyway that crisis over - and now the drains are blocked and there is 'waste' all over my drive and tickling down the road . I think this may have been what has been the problem with the washing machine and dishwasher as no water is actually draining away from the house. Have told the children not to use paper in the loos and try not to 'flush'.

I am awaiting dynorod now.
Even though my house is filthy i cannot do much as cant really use water - thats my excuse anyway .

Baffy glad your party was good - i am sure it will get easier wrt to thinking about h and ow - it is just time - i wish i could look into the future for you and show you your wonderful life, but that would take all the fun out of living it for you. But i am so confident that you will not still be on this thread as an old lady, and in fact it wont be long before we are all planning our outfits for your next wedding .

McD - i hope you find a good solicitor - mine was excellent (if a bit pricey at first), but the peace of mind it gave me and the service i knew i would get were well worth it. I am sure you will feel so much more empowered when you take control - it does not mean the end - look at me we had started drawing up our speration agreement and h wanted to 'push' ahead as quickly as possible. Whilst your h thinks he can come and go and has not had to face the reality why would he want to change it? Sorry if that sounds harsh but i really do think you may see a dramatic change if you start that ball rolling. It may make him angry - but if thats as bad as it gets so be it. Wishing you lots of luck and hope you find a good solicitor - this does not have to be the end its just the start of a new relationship with new rules - just make sure you have a say in what those rules will be.

Hi to everyone else and hope the sun is shinning where you are.

Hi Dior

Just read your message and sending you some hugs to help you through this.

Try to remember your friend is probably not in her right state of mind and what she is saying may not be her true self.

H and i have been saying this to a couple of friends who are going through a bit of a tough time - horrid things are being said on both sides. We had a sort of a laugh about some of the truely wicked things we once said to each other.

Hope your friend finds some peace soon.

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What a relief HW. So pleased to hear that news
And thank you so much for the kind words xx

Such a sad situation Dior. But you really have only ever had your friend and her dd's best interests at heart all the way through this and you were faced with an impossible situation. You did your best and fwiw I think you've been a great friend to her. She may not see it now. But she will one day.

That's great news HW - you must feel like a huge weight's been lifted.
Dior - so sorry about your friend, Baffy is right, one day she will thank you for trying to help and you really have done everything in your power for her. that she has to go down the SS route, but hopefully they can help her to get the help she needs.