Thanks Dior & TFM - TFM, your posts on Baffy 'Bridget Jones' cheered me up no end! .
Dior, 'me' time is always more important to them than to us - we obviously don't need so much time to ourselves . Glad that he was better after his bike ride, though.
Well, DP and I have been like this. He's been quietish all week - and possibly it's been a lot to do with the court appearance & loads of other little issues. We all went out for dinner on Friday and his friend & I did most of the talking. He was quiet but at least we held hands walking home. Saturday we took his friend & her DS to their hotel and walked to Tate Modern for tea. He was very quiet and walked apart from us most of the time. We left them at their hotel and headed home, he said not a word to me apart from brief comments on this and that. At Kings X it was so crowded & he was a bit ahead of me. Some people got in the way, he was by a door watching me trying to get through, then the doors started closing and he just turned and got on - and left me on the platform. I almost wept. I caught the next train & luckily a friend of mine was on it. She gave me a big hug and said I was welcome to go round to hers.
So I went home first & he was just sitting there eating hummus and pitta. I said, 'I can't believe you did that'. He just said he thought I was getting on the train. I said 'Why didn't you at least wait for me at the station?' and he said 'You know your way home' He'd NEVER have been like this before. It was so cold & detached.
I asked him for a hug, he said he couldn't give me one yet. I said, did he want to be alone, he said yes. So I just got my coat and went round to my friend's. We have scarcely spoken since. He's slept in the spare room and was out most of yesterday, whilst I went out with DD and spent the evening watching 'Coupling' with her. (Richard Coyle was SO funny!)
My friend says her it's very like her sister's situation - she lives in a remote part of France with a husband who's been clinically depressed all their married life - after 30 years she's considering leaving him.
Like TFM, I do believe in fate. It really was fate to find my friend on that train - otherwise I would have had to spend the evening in silence with him - though I was considering ringing round to see if anyone could offer me a refuge for the duration. Before I left, I told him that he really needed to seek help, but I don't know if he was listening. He's in a very dark place and I can't reach him now. I just have to make sure he doesn't drag me into that dark place.
It seemed very symbolical, when he turned and got onto that train - like he was turning away from me and retreating into a capsule where I could not reach him, being carried away into a dark tunnel and leaving me in the light.
Sorry, feeling very sorry for myself today - and sad, as I'm wondering if this is how it's always going to be, or if I should bale out and leave him to a lonely, depressed old age.
I was even comparing him to my exh - thinking, then we had no sex but we had friendship. In the last couple of months, DP & I have had no sex and now even the friendship is damaged. At this moment I feel nothing for him but great sadness.