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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Fab & Glam Part 4 - Spring into Happiness!

1000 replies

Paddlechick666 · 17/03/2008 13:26

Good Lord people, we've filled a thread up in about 6 weeks!

Anyways, here's a link to the venue Tanee suggested for a picnic:

www.coramsfields.org/index.php

Looks fabulous so let's get planning!

ps: sorry for London/Southern centric take on this but we'll plan hits around the rest of the country too I promise.

pps: Lily, get yer butt on FB woman!

OP posts:
Paddlechick666 · 07/04/2008 11:45

just bloody do it! if you're prepared to pay a tenner for information then you can risk a 1st class stamp and a inquisitive text/call from the ex.

no pain no gain missy!

OP posts:
Baffy · 07/04/2008 11:59

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Paddlechick666 · 07/04/2008 12:00

hey baffy, don't forget me if the millionaire boyfriend's mate has a brother

OP posts:
contentiouscat · 07/04/2008 13:32

192.com isnt that up to date - I know ive used it for business and also to get a feel for property prices.

Is there any other way of tracking him down as she will almost certainly open any mail addressed to him.

If you were that friendly with her you could pop in to say you had heard they had split up that way you get to hear her side of the story and if the rich boyfriend has any mates she may bear you in mind You may also get some idea from her of where her ex hangs out and bumping into him gives him the chance to let you know if HE is interested too

Baffy · 07/04/2008 13:47

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lilyloo · 07/04/2008 13:50

would it be too untoward for you to want to contact him if you were all friends ? Can you not just pop in to see her and then casually ask for his number to see how he is doing or maybe say h would like to get in touch again ?
Agree with fate i met dp at music festival which i wasn't going to go to as i had split with bf and he was in group of friends going. Anyway i went met dp brought him back home with me and then dropped him off later that day and the rest they say is history. Go for it Baffy.

Paddlechick666 · 07/04/2008 13:50

definately DO NOT GO AND SEE HER!

do the note, where's the harm. if she passes it on great. if she doesn't then you're going to be pursuing other ideas as they come in anyway.

rack your brains woman! there must be a thread you can follow somehow. do you have any mutual friends/aquantances? what about doing electoral roll for his parents?

c'mon, we need to hunt this guy down

OP posts:
Baffy · 07/04/2008 13:55

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Paddlechick666 · 07/04/2008 14:00

suppose you could just casually drop it into conversation with H and see what he offers up but i'd feel a bit uneasy about it tbh.

did you give him any clues about you that he might follow up?

OP posts:
Baffy · 07/04/2008 14:03

I don't know pc - I'd been drinking since 10am and this was about 6pm!

I said I was living at my mum's. Said the area but not the road. I don't think I mentioned work though.

Bugger!

lilyloo · 07/04/2008 14:04

maybe speak to h then ? Good point PC did you not have other mutual friends ?

contentiouscat · 07/04/2008 14:06

Hmm I really dont want to be a killjoy but having been the only girlfriend and having been out DH and the "boys" for YEARS I would be careful that tracking him down doesnt come across as desperate. If hes a nice guy a bit shell shocked that the missus has replaced him with a richer model...you could scare him.

I get what PC is saying about seeing his ex but shes moved on hasnt she obviously if you didnt know her well then popping in would seem weird anyway but if you were friends then it would be quite normal.

Can you find out what GW (are we still calling him that) knows? I was looking for a really wicked face thingy to insert here

Baffy · 07/04/2008 14:07

don't think we did have any other mutual friends.

H did. he went to the gym with a few people who knew this guy. but not me!

ah you've just made me think of someone who might know!!!!!

give me a minute!

Tanee58 · 07/04/2008 14:08

Afternoon everyone,

Well, what a weekend - lovely snow, shame it was all gone by teatime. I would have really liked a walk in the park - instead of a trip to Wembley (ungrateful sportophobe that I am!)

Baffy, how romantic - hope you track him down - if she's got a new man, she probably won't care or mind you asking after him - so put your courage to the sticking place and go see her .

TFM - really glad he's turning a new leaf - is he still doing the washing up? Bringing you tea? Have you asked him about putting the house in joint names? I tend to agree with Baffy - be very, very careful. It does sound like you have thought this through and have your plans - do keep to them, don't let him backslide. And keep that 'running away fund' growing - just in case!

PC did you REALLY have a picnic? Hope you wrapped up warm. I couldn't believe that I was in a tshirt on Friday and back in as many layers as I could squeeze into, yesterday!

HW - glad you had a great holiday.

Dior, my special Dior, how are you? I'm worried for you. Please come back to the thread and let us know - if only so we can try to keep your spirits up.

As for my weekend - well - it was interesting. I'm no fan of football, I'm afraid, but it certainly was an experience at Wembley - a sea of red and blue swarming down Olympic Way, all very good natured, in the afternoon sunlight. Cardiff City fans have a bad reputation, I'm told, so it's as well they won - but the match - apart from the one goal - seemed a bit lacklustre even to me. And I got SOO cold, even with the bit of warmth from cuddling up to DP. And I had to cope with his BIL screaming abuse at the Barnsley crowd - I really don't like the tribal hatred that football crowds emanate. All right, we were surrounded by Welshies, but to have a man shouting 'Cheating English bds in my ear, in an English Ground in England, wasn't pleasant.

I now see why most of DP's family dislike the man so much. He really is the most annoying, self-opiniated man I have EVER met! He knows everything about everything and is not afraid to say so - we even argued about how long I'd known DP and whether a particular ex-GF of his came before or after me. He insisted she & DP had dated in the early 80s - and I said no, actually, I was there the night they met, in 1989. And he STILL acted like I didn't know my own life history.

And can he drink!!!! I take it all back about DP's drinking. They went into town on Saturday and came back drunk, then finished off a magnum of wine and three bottles of our own stock. Yesterday was one long odyssey of alcohol - a bottle with lunch, a chaser straight before heading for Wembley, some cans from Lidl before going in, then straight to the bar, then another pint after the match, then into town to celebrate, then came back to ours to drink two more bottles and a couple of cans.

And DP, I'm proud to say, only had a glass of wine with lunch and some wine in the evening - the rest of the drinking was between his sister and BIL.

He even insulted one of my cats! Said he was ugly. Poor little Jess, who looks like Postman Pat's cat, and is so sweet and gentle. He flicked his coat at Jess and hit him in the eye!

So - as you see - I really don't like him. He may be kind at heart, very generous, wanted to pay for everything, but oh, how glad I was when I heard the front door crash shut behing them this morning!!!!

(Yes, they couldn't even shut our door without shaking the house)

I could go on - but my rant will bore you .

Luckily DP will be working away by the time of the Cup Final, so they won't be staying with us again .

Phew!!

Baffy · 07/04/2008 14:08

I do agree cc! Don't want to come across as desperate at all!

Would love to see him for a drink and a proper chat though

Tanee58 · 07/04/2008 14:11

AND my house now stinks of his awful aftershave!!!!

contentiouscat · 07/04/2008 14:13

Does he go to the pub you saw him in very often or did he mention anywhere else he goes?

Tanee58 · 07/04/2008 14:15

Baffy, if his surname isn't too common, you should be able to find his parents on the electoral roll.

Baffy · 07/04/2008 14:15

Tanee he sounds like an awful man! Glad he's gone!

CC that pub was just right next to the race course I don't think either me or him have ever been there before or would go again!

Maybe he will have to be 'the one that got away'!

I wish I'd had the bloody courage to just get his number as he was leaving. One quick text is all it'd take to see if he's interested too, or if I'm being a psycho stalker!!

Tanee58 · 07/04/2008 14:17

An old schoolfriend of mine, whose family went to Australia, tracked me down by going to the British Embassy, looking through their UK phone directories and writing to everyone with my surname, to see if they knew me. She found me that way. So if you think he was that great, why not try writing to everyone of that name in the area where his parents live?

Baffy · 07/04/2008 14:20

I have 1 'lead' which I'm just looking into now!

Will check friends reuinted tonight.

Then have a quick look in the phone book to see if his parents number is in there in the area I have in my head!

Then if not I think I may put this one down to experience and shut the feck up!!

contentiouscat · 07/04/2008 14:20

I assume you are both single and in the same town...no reason your paths shouldnt cross again is there? I just wouldnt immediately go down the note route...it should be that simple but I know from the "boys" that they can be tw*ts about things like this

Do some detective work first

contentiouscat · 07/04/2008 14:22

We have a pub like that near our racecourse...I think race days are the only time it gets any business but then it is quite dodgy.

Tanee58 · 07/04/2008 14:25

Baffy, he was certainly awful. He also has a tendency to slag off DP's family (there were serious issues with DP's father, which affected the daughters IYSWIM). This sister was the worst affected and her H always goes on about it and how upset the family make her - but HE sets her off. Things were fine on Saturday night until he said something about their father being beaten - next thing, she's in the kitchen sobbing with DP trying to comfort her. DD really didn't know what to make of it all but I think this will confirm her resolve never to drink !!

lilyloo · 07/04/2008 14:32

ooh Tannee he sounds awful!
Baffy hope the 'lead' leads somewhere!

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