Fab & Glam Part 4 - Spring into Happiness!

[Paddlechick666]

Good Lord people, we've filled a thread up in about 6 weeks!

Anyways, here's a link to the venue Tanee suggested for a picnic:

www.coramsfields.org/index.php

Looks fabulous so let's get planning!

ps: sorry for London/Southern centric take on this but we'll plan hits around the rest of the country too I promise.

pps: Lily, get yer butt on FB woman!

Message withdrawn

Thank you Dior

We are here for you - talk to us instead.

Dont forget he is only a man and so will not have the inner turmoil we have - he probably hasnt noticed at all .
Stay strong now if this is what you want.

Thank you HW. Yes, this is what I want. And trust me, he knows exactly what he is doing. He relies on my inner turmoil bringing me down enough for him to win me round again. He is in for a surprise this time. I don't want this kind of life anymore. I don't think my health can take much more of it anyway. I have to be strong and stick to my guns. I have no life here, I live in a nice house but so what? There is no love, no consideration and respect coming my way. I have given it my best shot. I just want to be happy.

Message withdrawn

I have a plan Dior I hope I don't have to use it though. I've got a little bag packed and hidden with some of our things in it and i'm ready to go if he does kick off. Thing is, now he is talking to me, this is where he will be all nice and charming and try to win me round. I just have to stick to my guns without being in his face about it. I told his mum yesterday where I will be if I have to leave here, she was totally supportive, she went through almost identical with his father so knows more than anyone what i'm going through. Despite everything, P is the apple of her eye but yesterday she didn't make any excuses for him or excuse his behaviour, she was great.

TFM, please please look after yourself and your dc. I know you will.

Situ here is still not great. Slightly less intrusive evening wrt noise etc but still cars pulling up and lots of yelling and activity etc.

DM just called to say she took my one and only car key home so dd cannot go to pre-school tomorrow and i will have to try to conference call with her here.

have a dread that they are planning a party downstairs tonight.

have updated my neighbour thread.

if it comes to it i will sell up and move closer to DM and DSD.

really don't want to move. can't quite comprehend it tbh but i will if i have to.

Message withdrawn

No Dior, she really was genuine. I figure he is being nice because he is hosting this grand national thing for his work, he will want me to go so he will try to win me round. I am being careful PC, I have read three fantastic advice books this week and am well prepared, I know what I have to do. I feel relieved that he is now talking, it won't be as hostile. Plus, I have my RL friend on stand by, I check in with her everyday and keep her updated. I thin I will be ok.

PC the local authority will take your complaints seriously. The environment office will come out and measure the noise levels then they will speak to the neighbours. I am as worried about you with these people as you are about me don;t try to do this alone xx

Message withdrawn

I haven't got one yet Dior, am still working on that bit. By the way, when I say talking he isn't talking like you and your H probably are talking, he instigated a conversation about the grand national. He has opened lines of communication, he isn't being friendly but i suspect that will follow. Thats why I hve to stay strong, so that I don't fall into the usual trap and end up back at square one! I couldn't cope with all that again.

The good news of the day is that my DS took his CBT test (scooter test) and passed! Bless him. I have told him he can only have a scooter if he gets one with stabilisers Love him to bits!

TFM I am sure you will not end up at square one now - we are here for you this time.

Good news about ds and test - i am dreading the day when mine wants to get a bike, but you have to let them go at sometime.

Well done TFM's ds!

You always knew this would happen TFM. It was only a matter of time wasn't it. But this time, I don't think you need us to help you stay strong, you've got that all worked out for yourself!
We will give you the moral support every step of the way though, if ever you're feeling really low or starting to question yourself then we'll give you the kick up the bum you need!
But I honestly think you're in such a good place right now that you know yourself you will never go back to living how you used to.

How he thinks after 6 weeks of not talking and taking your things to the tip you will suddenly play the 'perfect' partner at his Grand National do so he can show off to his work colleagues
I know in the past you probably would have.

So I really do think that he will be nice to you in the next week as he fully believes you will cave in and go with him.

Not a chance this time!

But this is where I'm a bit concerned I guess. Because when it comes to next Friday/Saturday and you actually stick to your guns, how do you think he will react?

Please please take care. I feel sick at the thought of him and what he is capable of. xxx

morning all

congrats to TFM ds, i absolutely adored having a bike in my teens. scared my mother witless tho

well it's not been too bad on the neighbour front. occasional blasts of loud music (he seems incapable of listening to anything for more than a minute). a car rocked up about 8ish and there was a yelled conversation from him at his window to the driver. was terrified that it seemed to indicate the driver of the car collecting a bunch of people for a party. it didn't transpire tho.

i ate my bodyweight in chocolate adn drank another large glass of wine (after 2 at work as a project went well so we celebrated!) and slept okay.

8am more music but dd had been up since before 7am so no prob there.

i know there are all sorts of formal routes i could take with this but the real issue is having to disclose a dispute if i do this. that would affect my ability to sell.

i very much doubt they would be evicted. the police raided the place last year and it would seem the housing partnership knew nothing about it and he is clearly allowed back to the property.

none of the other tenents have made complaints either. i worry for the old lady below them tbh, she's so frail and is housebound. this must be terrible for her.

anyways, i'm working from home with a lively toddler and my car keys are in the post for delivery tomorrow.

no buggy, no backpack carrier and a miserable drizzly day

Thank you Baffy you understand me so well. I am prepared for his reaction next weekend. I have worked out a little plan, just in case... I think he will do a lot of stomping about that day. But, I feel so good making a stand and doing what I want to do instead of what he expects me to do. The book I have just finished says it will make me stronger Do you know, I feel as though I have come such a long way this time, I thought I did well last time but I have amazed myself this time. I'm blooming exhausted though!!

PC Im pleased you had a better night with the neighbours. Maybe if you and the elderly's went down one night, with a bottle of wine and a six pack of beer and asked to join them they would freak out and have their parties elsewhere

And never mind the weather, we might get to see a bit of you on here today. I've hardly seen you and Baffy all week!!

Hi to everyone else and thank you for all the congrats for DS. I am one very nervous mum!

Sorry! I have been useless this week haven't I!

I can't believe how busy I am in work. It's just madness. And it's extra difficult as my mum has ds all day (obviously he can't go to H's alone at the moment with everything kicking off again) so I tend to work 7-5 then go home, do tea, washing etc, sort ds for bed, then work into the evening. But it just leaves no time for me. I'm getting my shower for work at 5.30am most days as I'm just too exhausted to face it in the evenings! [bluch]
And the guilt I feel at the amount my mum has to have ds is overwhelming at times.

I know she doesn't see him as a burden. She loves him. But she gets tired. And this working hard and sharing the parenting responsibilities should be between me and H, not between me and my mum!

I'm not actually sure how I'll cope when I get a place for me and ds. My job is so demanding. And I can't imagine having to get him out of bed at 6am to get him round to my mums. Imagine in the winter!

Something will have to give Probably my sanity!

p.s. I bet you are exhuasted TFM! You really will have to write a book one day with all the knowledge and experience you've gained from all this! At least that's one positive!
And you'll be rich too!!

I think we should all move into a huge house together and we can help each other out. I will look after all the kids and do the gardening, I like ironing too so I will put my name down for that

You are amazing Baffy! I don't know how you do it!

well, after what i've just heard about the neighbours and this lad i think i will be moving again.

apparently he's been inside several times. he's been out on a tag too. he's got some sort of pitbull dog in there too.

NONE of my neighbours have ever complained tho. apparently they were re-homed a few years back.

my neighbours over the way have said they'll make a complaint about the dog.

i am in real schtuck as i have to be so careful as i am an owner/occupier.

Hello guys - I feel so dreadful for being such a rubbish mate but I've been lurking and thinking of you all. I will try to catch up properly with the thread and probably post my own update later.

In the meantime, I thought you'd be interested in my bit of news here

I wanted to post a thread on FB first but couldn't figure out how to do it

wow! congrats Cash

Happy Anniversary to me today. Haven't heard from H in a while so not expecting cards, chocolates and flowers lol.

neighbour situation is calm, bit of noise in the early hours and had a bit of a run in with him yesterday arvo when he brought the pitbull into the garden when we had 4 kids out there playing

Told him dogs weren't allowed in these flats and he shuffled off.

Am 95% sure I'm going to move. Been looking at properties near my parents. Just need to be sure I can make enough on this property to cover my fees etc.

Boat Race today. Come on Oxford!

Message withdrawn

Happy Anniversary Memories PC xx

Have a lovely weekend everyone. I know you will Cash xx