Fab & Glam Part 4 - Spring into Happiness!

[Paddlechick666]

Good Lord people, we've filled a thread up in about 6 weeks!

Anyways, here's a link to the venue Tanee suggested for a picnic:

www.coramsfields.org/index.php

Looks fabulous so let's get planning!

ps: sorry for London/Southern centric take on this but we'll plan hits around the rest of the country too I promise.

pps: Lily, get yer butt on FB woman!

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Oh Dior - What a twonk. Its his problem not yours. He sounds very shallow - surely sex is about more than just looks.
TFM - well done for getting through the weekend without killing him. I'm sure I would have! Back to 'normal' tomorrow eh.
Well we went to the NHM today. P offered to drive us up there because of the weather and his dd wanted to come too, so I grudgingly accepted and I'm so glad I did now. We did the dinosaur part, then had lunch then halfway round human biology ds2 puked EVERYWHERE so we had to go straight home. DS1 was really upset to miss most of it, but he was so good and didn't moan hardly at all. I don't know what I would have done if I'd been there on my own and had to negotiate the tube and train and snow with a sick 4 year old adn a disgruntled 8 year old! So PC I would definitely love to come up again and meet you and make it up to ds1. I think he'd really enjoy the Science museum. Maybe in the next holidays??

Can you believe there were some Japanese tourists taking photos of ds2 being sick
Some people .... !

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It's squirting out the other end now . Sorry TMI!!! I've put him to bed with The Incredibles DVD poor thing.
Can I come to yours for tea Dior I'm so exhausted after all the sick and poo and everything ds1 has had eggy bread and cheese on toast for tea, cheesy cottage crumble sounds lovely!!!

Dior get yourself a rampant rabbit and make sure you make use of it while with dh, when he raises an objection just tell him that the rabbit is always willing whatever your size. Crikey Dior, where do we get these bloody men from? And don't you dare go making excuses for his insensitive comments. You are bloody gorgeous and if I were a bloke.......

GU, I suppose the P's do have their uses don't they We will have to keep a lookout for ds2 on youtube, maybe thats what the japanese tourist wanted the pic for

Well, I am on a countdown now. This has been the longest bank holiday I can ever remember.

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How are you feeling about all this Dior? Are you feeling hurt and unhappy or are you thinking you can take it or leave it. I just hate the way he seems to be putting allthe responsiblity of whether or not this relationship works onto you. Surely he should be working on his attitude towards your size as much as he feels you should be working to lose weight. You will still be the same person whatever your size, it seems very shallow of him to put so much emphasis on your weight.

Thanks Dior
Maybe you should give Relate another try before the solicitors, as a last attempt to put things right?
TFM at You Tube - I never thought of that.
P has taken his dd to the cinema tonight. He's really trying to be superman atm . Although I'm grateful to him for today, I've heard a few too many "where would you have been without me?" comments and he's looking quite smug!
I'm consoling myself with the fact that he copped most of the flying bodily fluids today as I was nearly always (unintentionally of course!) just out of range!

Take no notice of his comments GU, that's probably more for his own benefit than yours. They soon think they have done enough to make amends don't they . DS2 is to be congratulated on his great aim and hitting the target!

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TFM I can't believe he took all your gardening stuff! I'm sorry but what an absolute b*stard! I don't know whether to be sad or just furious for you. The pleasure you got out of all that last year too.
I'm totally lost for words

Sending you all my love and positive vibes. You will get through this and you will be happy. I promise.

Next installment in the total and utter mess that is Baffy's life... I had a car crash today!

I got the new car back from the garage on Saturday. Apparently it was a factory fault and the whole clutch and gearbox had to be replaced!

Was driving to drop easter eggs at my friend's house today. Was in the right hand lane of traffic going about 20mph. Left hand lane was stationary. Some stupid bitch woman pulled out without checking her blind spot and went straight into the side of my car. Smashed the whole passenger door up!!!!!

I was shaking and crying, carried on to the petrol station a few yards ahead. She was ranting and raving in her car behind me! (Like it was my fault!) Then as I pulled in, she bloody drove off!!!!!!
I tried to follow her but but the time I got out of the petrol station I didn't see which way she went at the lights.

Luckily I was about a minute away from a police station so I went straight there. I was in a bit of shock, poor ds was really scared. I think I got the number plate, but I didn't even get the make of the car. Don't people know you're supposed to pull over after an accident!!! The police are trying to trace her so I have to go back in the morning.

So lets have a vote... is it an unlucky car? Or am I just having the most unlucky 2 years of my entire life in one go!!!

I didn't wallow though. I was very proud of myself! DS knew it was H's birthday so me and him baked a cake (I resisted lacing it with arsenic!) and we droppped that at H's with a cheery smile so ds could at least see him for a while. All was fine.

And now I'm sitting up trying to write a risk management report. And I resisted mumsnet up until now. But I had to cave in and give you the latest nightmare news!

I will post with good news one day. I promise!!

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Thanks Dior. My mum said she blames the car too. She didn't like it from day one because it was black!

DS's first instinct too was 'this car is rubbish mummy, I want the old one'!

Maybe they're both right!

Or maybe I'm just destined for as much bad luck as I can find! You can all start calling me Unlucky Alf!!

Just fed up tired of this - 2 years now since H started with OW....actually had lovely day with both DD's but am so short tempered with DD1 shouting a lot - like it is her fault I have to manage alone
Am so angry and resentful of H he swans in and out and does nothing useful....and doesn't even act sorry ....bubbling with resentment - have divorce talk over and over in my head but know he will just freak and really not sure I can handle it at moment ....just grit my teeth and smile inanely but I cannot carry on like this there is always some reason to keep delaying but I just want to draw a line under it.....and we still have to tell DD1 about OW baby yet something else I will be left to pick up pieces...
Feel almost dead inside no tears left no anger think I have buried it all so far away
Sorry for long ramble not really been able to articulate how I feel

macd I'm so sorry you're hurting so much

I wish I had the words to make it better. It's such an awful situation.

Perhaps you should have the talk with him, at least then you're getting it all off your chest and don't have to keep bottling up how you feel. If he goes mad and behaves like a spoilt child who isn't getting his own way, well at least you've had your say. And it's not like you have anything to lose because he's not there for you as it is.
Why should you have to hold everything together while he continues to get his own way.
He really doesn't deserve you. Or your beautiful dd's. You'd have thought the scare with dd2 would have brought him to his senses! He just doesn't realise what he's about to lose. But sadly, the way he's behaving, he doesn't deserve you all anyway.
I think he needs a major wake up call. And if the divorce talk is what it is going to take, then (as long as you're settled in your own mind that you are ready to take that step if necessary), I think you should tell him.

{{{{hugs}}}}

Firstly McD - I really do think you need the talk and get things moving - it is not the end but just the beginning of the next stage.

You are not liking yourself at the moment for allowing this to happen and so cannot let this go on. Is this the type of woman you are? He will have more respect for you if you now take matters into your own hands and do what you know is right.

It sounds as if you dont even know what you want anymore. Do you still want him or do you want to win him from her more? There is a difference.

I do know how hard it is and as you have chidren it is never going to be easy - but by making the first move you really feel empowered in some way.

Good luck and take some time for you.

Baffy - you are not meant to have that car - I hope the police find the woman - i wonder why she did not stop - did you look a bit scary . I have been a bit accident prone in the past and was the stupid woman bitch several times. I was nearly always in the wrong and addmitted it (i know you are not suppossed to do that - but hey it was my fault). .

Hope you have a good week anyway.

TFM - that is awful of him getting rid of your gardening stuff - did he do it on purpose then or did he think they were rubbish? H threw away a whole load of plants that were for seperating as he thougt they were old - still he did offer to buy a who load of new ones and i think it was his way of saying how rubbish he is at the garden so never having to do it again .

GU - hope ds is better soon - and fwiw i think you would have managed without p there if you had to - we seem to find the strengh from somewhere.

Dior - keep your chin up but do what you have to and remember we are all here for you. Do you think you got strengh from seeing SG on saturday? I for one wish i could make your h see that he is sucking the life from you by not seeing the real you and just the weight. Why will he not try relate again?

My h has gone to work today a bit down - we just need to get ow out of our lives now and move on and he is hating working anywhere near her. I just hope they let him go soon and not give him a huge guilt trip. It is very unusal for someone of his level to want to move on and i still dont think they see her as a problem - stupid men.

Hi to everyone else and heres hoping to a lovely week.

morning Ladies

Oh Baffy you are brilliant! You have a crash then you go bake a cake for H AND you resist from coating it in laxative chocolate. What an angel! Oh and I hate to be the bearer of news that is bad but, they do say that things come in three's so prepare yourself for another eventful journey with that car

AS for P and the gardening stuff, he has done this to me before, his thing is to take my things to the tip. I think he was wanting a reaction from me but he didn't get one. If he wants communication then he can communicate in the 'normal' way rather than through conflict. Anyway, he is now at work, the sun is shining and the air is fresh! I feel like it's my first day out of prison RL friend coming to see me next Tuesday.

Macd I agree with everything that Baffy has said. You should talk to H, especially if it is going to make you feel better. Or, if you don't feel you can talk to him why don't you write him a letter telling him how you feel. I am worried about you, you sound very depressed You deserve to be happy Mac, you have been unhappy for far too long, it's time for you now.

Dior, I think this has been said before, first time round, maybe he is using your weight as an excuse for his low libido. Anyway, he is wrong and I hope you are not taking onboard his comments, we don't want to see you all depressed again

Hi HW, no, it wasn't an accident, he knew what he was doing. He once took some of my clothes! A long wool coat that I loved, it had cost me a lot of money and I had bought it when I first went back to work. I was devastated, in fact, I still am 3 years later!

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Good for you Dior! I am so pleased to 'hear' you talking like this

As for me, getting angry won't do me any favours at all. The best thing I can do for myself is simply refuse to accept the abuse, not by arguing with him which would only result in me coming off worse but by not listening, not taking on board what he says and realise that he is the one with the problem not me. Reasoning with him gets me nowhere. It is now over 5 weeks since he spoke a civil word to me, apart from to ask me if I want the heating on. I did try to talk to him, to ask him why he was still so angry with me, asked him if we could draw a line under the 'argument' and just agree to split amicably, pointed out that there really is no reason why we can't be friends and be adult about things but, he showed no interest, he said none of this is bothering him, he feels nothing. He won't even do it for his dd. But, from experience, I expect that one day he will just start talking and that will be that, he will expect everything to be ok again. And thats fine, I would like things to be friendly and civil but, I won't be changing my plans to leave.
No Dior, unfortunately I don't have anywhere to go, not at the moment. I am stuck!

As for how far will he go, I know that when I leave here it has to be 'total, there will be no going back. I know for a fact if I was to leave as a temporary measure he would destroy or get rid of all my belongings. I have furniture stored here that I am going to need and that I can't afford to replace. I have somewhere to go in an emergency but it really will have to be an emergency. I don't like how I am living but I have 'learned' how to live with it.

Baffy poor you , and what astupid woman , hope they find her. Think you have very unlucky car but at least you and ds ok that's the main thing. Well done on baking a cake though and resisiting lacing it you are becoming a master of coping in a crisis

TFM however when you go you will be able to replace it all without having to worry about him trying to control you with your possesions. Hope you have alovely time with rl friend next week , and it will give you something to look forward to.

Gu hope ds feeling better , they always pick opportune moments don't they.

McD so sorry things are so bad for you at the moment. Wish he would open his eyes to what he has to loose. Dd1 will cope like all good women do. ((((((hugs))))))))

Dior what a plonker he is! Especially after everyone raving on here about how beautiful you are. Agree with the rabbit suggestion , who needs men ?

Hope everyone else ok. Have eaten far too much chocolate here and also had some news my gran is in intensive care after having heart attack Saturday and i can't really see her as i have all dc's at home and can't take them and dp can't really take time off as things are tight with the recent credit crunch etc. So all in all not a great easter here either.