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Original poster

Husband masturbates next to me while I sleep.

118 replies

DazedAndConfusedHere · 31/12/2023 12:12

That’s it really. Throughout our relationship I have often woken up during the night to find him lying next to me masturbating.

I have always said I don’t like it. Not that he masturbates - we all do - but not while I’m lying next to him sleeping.

He continues to do it and doesn’t see a problem with it. We are having wider relationship issues at the moment, but even when things have been good he has still always done it.

Is this weird or am I overreacting?

OP posts:
Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 31/12/2023 12:16

Yeah i would find this weird and maybe uncomfortable to wake up to see my partner masturbating next to me

Bansheed · 31/12/2023 12:28

Going out on a limb here but the fact that is often is weird and, sounds deliberate. There are many places he could go.

When he does it, what do you do? He won't stop when you ask, so what can you do? The only thing I can think of is telling him you find it abusive and that it strikes as a weirdly fetishism. And move and sleep somewhere else. The trouble is, if he gets off on you being there asleep, it may make him even more covert.

What is your sex life like usually?

SnufflyBunny · 31/12/2023 12:28

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest

Nogooddeed7 · 31/12/2023 12:33

This feels pointed because you’ve also said you are having wider relationship issues. Sounds like it’s all tied in

Icantbedoingwithit · 31/12/2023 12:34

No, he can go to the bathroom. Very disrespectful to be pulling the plum off himself and disturbing you.

Terrribletwos · 31/12/2023 12:35

Wow!

Terrribletwos · 31/12/2023 12:35

SnufflyBunny · 31/12/2023 12:28

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest

Wow! Really!??!

Sar198 · 31/12/2023 12:38

My ex DH used to do this. One of the many, many reasons he's an ex. Just grim. Massively gave me the ick.

Chanhedforthis · 31/12/2023 12:42

I'd turn round and laugh at him if he woke me up wanking.

Opentooffers · 31/12/2023 12:43

Having an orgasm helps men sleep - always has opposite effect on me so more likely to be staring into space after sex while the other half knocks out the Zeds unfortunately.
I'd say he does it when he can't sleep, and maybe has come to rely on it to get to sleep. That will be why getting up and going somewhere else is less effective, it's aas much or even more about going to sleep than sexual.

Whatineed · 31/12/2023 12:43

Sar198 · 31/12/2023 12:38

My ex DH used to do this. One of the many, many reasons he's an ex. Just grim. Massively gave me the ick.

Another one here. Ex once did it while he thought I was asleep and then stood up and finished off in my hair.

It was a punishment because I wouldn't comply with certain things he wanted sexually.

At the minimum it's disturbing your sleep as the bed must be moving in time with his fapping. Can't he go to the bathroom like everyone else. What does he do with the ejaculate? Leave it all over the bed? 😑

TinyYellow · 31/12/2023 12:44

It wouldn’t bother me either as long as it didn’t negatively affect our sexual relationship. But if there’s other problems then they will need to be addressed.

Original poster
DazedAndConfusedHere · 31/12/2023 12:51

He does it when he says he can’t sleep and is bored of scrolling his phone so decides to knock one out.

It wakes me up as the whole bed is moving in time with him and he makes noises too.

Quite honestly it makes me feel sick. I am no prude and don’t have a problem with him doing it, just not while I’m sleeping next to him.

He usually finishes in a tissue that he has prepared ready, and shoves it under the bed - and leaves it there - which again I find gross.

OP posts:
Whatineed · 31/12/2023 12:55

DazedAndConfusedHere · 31/12/2023 12:51

He does it when he says he can’t sleep and is bored of scrolling his phone so decides to knock one out.

It wakes me up as the whole bed is moving in time with him and he makes noises too.

Quite honestly it makes me feel sick. I am no prude and don’t have a problem with him doing it, just not while I’m sleeping next to him.

He usually finishes in a tissue that he has prepared ready, and shoves it under the bed - and leaves it there - which again I find gross.

Ugh. Not very discreet. And bloody selfish.

Terrribletwos · 31/12/2023 12:58

It's abusive obviously!!

No respect and gross!

Pugdays · 31/12/2023 12:58

I'd be sleeping elsewhere

369damnshesfine · 31/12/2023 12:58

The fact that he knows you don’t like it and still does it would annoy me.

There’s nothing stopping him from sitting on a chair or going to the bathroom.

I actually wouldn’t mind my partner doing it but if I’ve said I don’t like it and he carries on, I would see it as a sign of disrespect.

Not cleaning his tissues up is just vile!

Terrribletwos · 31/12/2023 13:01

Just so horrible! Why would anyone put up with this?!?

I don't understand the dilemma! Who on earth would think this is normal?!?

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 31/12/2023 13:02

Eurgh… that is disgusting! 🤮 I would genuinely struggle not to physically kick my DH out of bed if he ever did that!

Waking you up as well by the bed shaking shows a real lack of disrespect

Blanca87 · 31/12/2023 13:03

Yuk

DixonD · 31/12/2023 13:04

Terrribletwos · 31/12/2023 12:35

Wow! Really!??!

Show quote history

Wouldn’t bother me either.

We’re all different.

ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 31/12/2023 13:04

It wouldn't bother me in principle but I would be annoyed to be woken up by it. Have you considered sleeping separately? I do - not for that reason but because I have insomnia - and I sleep much better for it.

DixonD · 31/12/2023 13:05

He does need to clean up after himself though!

Onehappymam · 31/12/2023 13:07

You’re not overreacting. You’ve told him it makes you feel uncomfortable, but he still does it. This shows he has no respect for you or your boundaries.

I’d bet he’s selfish and disrespectful in other parts of your relationship too.

compactopera · 31/12/2023 13:08

It sounds like a compelling reason to be single.