I want my partner to leave the house after stealing from me

Sandbaby · 2023-12-31T10:34:10+00:00

I’ve been a victim of long term financial abuse. The details and extent of this have only come to light recently. I have asked him to move out for the sake of my emotional/mental wellbeing, but he has refused. I am the sole owner of the house (title deeds) and we are not married or in a civil partnership. What are my rights? Thanks

Peoplemakemedespair · 31/12/2023 10:39

How long have you been together, and has he made any financial contributions to the property? I’ve had personal experience of this, and my advice would be ignore his ‘rights’, wait until he’s out one day, then put his stuff out and change the locks. Then it’s on him to make a civil case against you, which no one will do to try and temporarily move back in with an ex just to stay for a longer period while she carries on the eviction. Google tells me that you can evict him either way as long as you give him ‘reasonable notice’.

Gliblet · 31/12/2023 10:40

Where are you OP? I don't know much about this, mostly posting to keep it in 'active' so someone knowledgeable sees it, but as far as I know in England at least if he's not on the deeds, not paying rent/no formal agreement in place, not married or in a CP then he has no right to stay.

Peoplemakemedespair · 31/12/2023 10:41

If you can’t get him out after notice, you can apply to the courts for an order of ejection, which will lead to him being removed by police if he refuses

Gliblet · 31/12/2023 10:42

Oh, and have you spoken to the police about the theft?

Trevorton · 31/12/2023 10:43

I would change the locks and bag his stuff up. Be super helpful if you could get a couple of male friends round to help you do this.

Whataretheodds · 31/12/2023 10:44

I agree with @Peoplemakemedespair and call the police re theft if you haven't already.

Santaisscouringindeedfornewjob · 31/12/2023 10:44

If the bills and everything are in your name ring non emergency police and say he won't leave.. Reporting him for the theft will help his eviction..

FloofCloud · 31/12/2023 10:45

I'd go to the police about the theft

I'd also wait til he went out, change the locks on all doors and dump his stuff outside, safely, but outside

PammieDooveOrangeJoof · 31/12/2023 10:47

Report the theft and financial abuse to the police.

Mrsgreen100 · 31/12/2023 10:50

Same situation here , long term financial theft, and abuse, coercive, control, et cetera
I kicked my ex out change. Changed the locks reported everything to the police and installed cctv . It’s still in process. My ex had changed the utility bills at my property into his name without me knowing so much Fraud even took over control of my bank accounts online without me, knowing complete arsehole, he had no rights whatsoever, once the fraud came to light , he hasn’t got a leg to stand on get him out of Locks inform the police about the financial stuff, so at least it’s on record.
over 25 years he’d been fleecing me cheating and lied about everything,
get him out immediately get your banking etc
fraud alerts set up change all your passwords
good luck feel your pain , but get rid now
good luck

Santaisscouringindeedfornewjob · 31/12/2023 11:00

Be very very glad you weren't married. When I left my ex around the time of all the ppi refunds I tried to claim. Exh had already tried . My accounts... He was a top notch thief... Actually HD a criminal record for fraud. Obviously papered over it and I fell for the story.

category12 · 31/12/2023 11:04

If it's your house and you're not married, he has no legal rights to stay on after you've asked him to leave.

If he goes out, change the locks and refuse to let him back in. You shouldn't throw out his stuff, but you can bag it up for him to collect/send it to him.

If he's stolen from you, make a complaint to the police. Or use it as leverage to get him out of the house, (threaten to get the police involved unless he leaves).

Original poster

Sandbaby · 31/12/2023 11:04

Gliblet · 31/12/2023 10:40

Where are you OP? I don't know much about this, mostly posting to keep it in 'active' so someone knowledgeable sees it, but as far as I know in England at least if he's not on the deeds, not paying rent/no formal agreement in place, not married or in a CP then he has no right to stay.

Thanks for this. I’m in the Uk

OP posts:

Original poster

Sandbaby · 31/12/2023 11:07

Mrsgreen100 · 31/12/2023 10:50

Same situation here , long term financial theft, and abuse, coercive, control, et cetera
I kicked my ex out change. Changed the locks reported everything to the police and installed cctv . It’s still in process. My ex had changed the utility bills at my property into his name without me knowing so much Fraud even took over control of my bank accounts online without me, knowing complete arsehole, he had no rights whatsoever, once the fraud came to light , he hasn’t got a leg to stand on get him out of Locks inform the police about the financial stuff, so at least it’s on record.
over 25 years he’d been fleecing me cheating and lied about everything,
get him out immediately get your banking etc
fraud alerts set up change all your passwords
good luck feel your pain , but get rid now
good luck

Thank you for this. It’s a horrible situation.

OP posts:

Original poster

Sandbaby · 31/12/2023 11:10

Santaisscouringindeedfornewjob · 31/12/2023 10:44

If the bills and everything are in your name ring non emergency police and say he won't leave.. Reporting him for the theft will help his eviction..

Thanks. The utility bills and house insurance are in his name and he has refused to give me the log in details in order for me to take on all the bills.

OP posts:

MistletoeandJd · 31/12/2023 11:10

End it and tell him to leave or you will phone the police ?

caringcarer · 31/12/2023 11:13

FloofCloud · 31/12/2023 10:45

I'd go to the police about the theft

I'd also wait til he went out, change the locks on all doors and dump his stuff outside, safely, but outside

This is excellent advice. Don't let him get away with that theft OP. Report to police.

Grimpo · 31/12/2023 11:14

Peoplemakemedespair · 31/12/2023 10:41

If you can’t get him out after notice, you can apply to the courts for an order of ejection, which will lead to him being removed by police if he refuses

That's not what happens in England, if that is where OP is.

Grimpo · 31/12/2023 11:16

Sandbaby · 31/12/2023 11:10

Thanks. The utility bills and house insurance are in his name and he has refused to give me the log in details in order for me to take on all the bills.

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Contact the relevant providers and explain the situation. Presumably he won't be paying them anyway once he moves out so I can't see that they would be unhappy about starting new accounts in your name.

category12 · 31/12/2023 11:16

Sandbaby · 31/12/2023 11:10

Thanks. The utility bills and house insurance are in his name and he has refused to give me the log in details in order for me to take on all the bills.

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Well, unless it's in your name, you shouldn't have his log-in details - and you don't need them. You'll need to set up your own accounts with the providers.

You'll just need to talk to them about what you need to do - they'll have procedures for when relationships break down.

JFDIYOLO · 31/12/2023 11:17

Take out new house insurance in your name - you're the householder and can prove it

Check all your accounts for everything and change all passwords for everything

Contact the police, make a report and get a reference number

Secure all portable valuables

Change the locks

Try to get friends in to help you pack his stuff up - he can collect it

Tell him in front of witnesses you have reported the behaviour to the police, that the relationship is over and he no longer has permission to be in your home

Nn9011 · 31/12/2023 11:19

You should be able to contact your bill providers and tell them the previous bill payer has left the property and you now want to open the accounts in your name. You can also contact your home insurance company even if you don't know the actual policy info and explain it to them as well. They might ask for proof of another policy you've taken out in your name but they should be able to help.
I'd also speak to your bank, make sure they have secured your accounts and check for any transactions that shouldn't be there. Be open with them about what's happening as they can be more helpful if you tell them.

FloofCloud · 31/12/2023 11:19

House insurance!! 😵
Email the insurance people today with an account of what he's done, send proof you're the home owner. Is he unstable enough to do something silly to your home? Burn it or such? Honestly, call the police today

Beesandhoney123 · 31/12/2023 11:20

utility and house insurance.. Did the money come out of your account? If so call them. Just say he has left and unless they give you access then you'll have to cancel and re open. Point out its your house.

Council tax. Call them and say he has left/ been given 30 days notice and to drop your payments You don't know where he is going.

Tell him he has to leave. Call the police and ask for advice. If you think he might kick off or you just don't know, ask for help.

It goes without saying to change all your passwords immediately incl phone and laptop. Also, check your credit report for free on money expert ? You'll see if his name is on anything it shouldn't be. Take him off car insurance and if he drives it, call the police.

Why won't he go? Are you still talking?

CharmedCult · 31/12/2023 11:21

Phone the police, report the theft and tell them he’s refusing to leave.

You don’t need his login for utilities, simply contact the companies, tell them you’re taking over the bills for your address, ask them to set an account up for you and and provide them with an up to date meter reading.