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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Fuming at boyfriend ruined Christmas

141 replies

LydiaRebecca14 · 24/12/2023 21:15

So....
me and my partner don't live together. My house is council, he owns his own house. Neither house is big enough as I have 3 children etc so maybe in the future ...

We agreed I'd cook Xmas dinner at his house as he has a table, much bigger kitchen etc.

We was going to go Xmas food shopping last night together... we said we'd go late to miss the busyness. My baby sitter let me down for my 5 year old so we agreed to go this morning (he was annoyed)

This morning i rang him and said I'm leaving at 9.30 I wanna be at shop for 10 cus it will get busy... he said you'll have to wait or go alone cus I'm bleaching my floors!! I said u can bleach your floors later?

So I went alone with my 5 year old.
It was manic. I then drove 15 miles to his house to drop the Xmas food off that we'd be cooking at his house.
He helped get the stuff out the car, my son then got out the car and went to go in his house to see his cats and he flipped cus he was freshly hoovering and shouted at my son to get back in the car. He was horrible. I obviously told him not to speak to my son in that way and especially my 5 year old. We've been together some time now and he usually good.

I said how on earth can I bring 3 kids here for Xmas day with your OCD and mood like this? It's crazy. He is 46 lives alone.no kids.

Anyway... he's just turned up and dumped all the food at my door we was supposed to be cooking together. There's loads of it. I can't even fit it all in my fridge.
I'm so hurt. So now all the plans have changed. I'm doing Xmas dinner alone at my house with the kids. It's put a right spanner in the works for me.

When he was walking out the door he said happy fukin Xmas yeah.
I'm sat in total shock. And he slammed the door so hard. Envy

OP posts:
StrawberryWater · 24/12/2023 21:19

Block him.

He's a complete and utter dick head and he treats you and your son like shit and you want a future with him?

I think I'd revel in not having to put up with a man like that at Christmas.

Dacadactyl · 24/12/2023 21:21

Dump him.

My God, some women have nightmare men on this site. I feel sorry for you OP.

BellyDancer124 · 24/12/2023 21:21

Wow, you must be so upset. What a let down. How long have you been together?

EmptyYoghurtPot · 24/12/2023 21:23

OP you already have 3 children, you don’t need another.
New Year, new start?

Original poster
LydiaRebecca14 · 24/12/2023 21:23

2 years x

I'm absolutely gutted. I'm not trying to ram it all in my tiny little kitchen and explain to the kids the change. Not even got enough pans! Oh my god.

I'm sat crying looking at it all in bags in my porch x

OP posts:
SadlyACupOfTeaDoesNotSolveEverything · 24/12/2023 21:23

A horrible thing to happen but a magnificent wake up call. You are better off without him!

BrightLightTonight · 24/12/2023 21:24

Why did you leave it so late to get Christmas dinner organised. And why mention that he has his own house and you don’t.

crostini · 24/12/2023 21:25

So much better without him. But so upsetting still. Pour your self into making you and the kids happy tomorrow and then deal with the grief of the relationship after xx

Shopalolic · 24/12/2023 21:25

He's done you a favour op, better off out of that!

EndOfMyTether11 · 24/12/2023 21:26

And you're still with him why?

Mabelface · 24/12/2023 21:26

He's just shown you exactly who he is and has done you a huge favour. I can understand your shock. Just enjoy a low key Christmas with the kids. Anything else can wait.

Beamur · 24/12/2023 21:26

What a prince.
Dry your eyes.
You'll cope.
Please dump him - beyond shitty to treat you and your kids like this. He may have OCD but it doesn't sound as if he can cope with your kids.

AmandaHoldensLips · 24/12/2023 21:27

What a total shit.

GrazingSheep · 24/12/2023 21:27

Just leave him. You know he’s shit. You know how he has treated you. You know you are not a priority in his life. Surely being single has to be better than this life you are living with him.

EmptyYoghurtPot · 24/12/2023 21:27

Put away what food you can and leave the rest on the table. I’m guessing all the presents etc for the kids are at your house so focus on that.
No need to make a drama out of the change of plans, just tell the kids you are all staying at home for the day. Enjoy watching them open their presents and cobble together some sort of lunch. Christmas isn’t ruined and the kids should come first.

tomatoontoast · 24/12/2023 21:28

Have a really good cry. Stuff it in your fridge the best you can, throw anything that isn't essential. Lock the house up and crawl into bed.

MargotMoon · 24/12/2023 21:29

BrightLightTonight · 24/12/2023 21:24

Why did you leave it so late to get Christmas dinner organised. And why mention that he has his own house and you don’t.

Because her babysitter let her down. Did you not read her post?

And the living situation is clearly there for context.

Are you always so passive-aggressive?

Whattodo112222 · 24/12/2023 21:30

Right. Have a cry, get it out your system.

Then, take what you can't fit in your fridge or freezer and knock on the neighbours houses and ask if it's OK to store the food till tomorrow if they have space.

Then tomorrow. You collect the food, cook what you can and you do everything you can to have a lovely Christmas just you and your kids.

Block and delete this arsehole of a man and after Christmas is over you can process that.

Do this for your kids, they deserve better then this piece of shit in their lives as do you

Do not let him ruin your Christmas.

PrimalOwl10 · 24/12/2023 21:31

It doesn't sound like he's the man for you op. He likes his own space has no dc and you have 3 one who's very young. Dry your eyes and focus on making your Christmas special. If you don't have enough pans can you borrow from next door

Crazycrazylady · 24/12/2023 21:34

Honestly op.. it's clear that this man will never be jn a position to share his life with you. He can't deal with small kids and you have a five year old.

Take this as the wake up call you needed

ArcaneWireless · 24/12/2023 21:37

@Whattodo112222 has said what I wanted to say perfectly.

You have food, your bairns and you’re rid of someone who doesn’t deserve you or your bairns. Or your food.

Happiness is yours to grab. 🎄

Whataretheodds · 24/12/2023 21:39

Do you have (or do the neighbours have any coolboxes /ice packs. you can borrow ? Is it cold enough where you are that fridge stuff can stay in the porch/go in a garage or shed or the garden?

Is it just you and the kids that need to be fed tomorrow? You don't have to cook the whole thing tomorrow, or even any of it - you could do easy stuff and focus on presents and games and fun and telly.

Aquamarine1029 · 24/12/2023 21:41

You have dumped him, haven't you? FFS, I hope you have. How can you possibly have this disgusting man in your children's lives?

Eekmystro · 24/12/2023 21:44

Oh op I’m sorry.
He sounds like an absolute cock!

if I were you I’d pick out the food you and the kids want/need for tomorrow and pop that in the fridge. Anything excess you could offer to neighbours but if worse comes to worse just leave it in a bag outside or throw it. Certainly don’t stress about it.

100% do not change plans again for tomorrow. He’ll have to sort his own xmas. Focus on your and your kids enjoy Xmas at home tomorrow.

category12 · 24/12/2023 21:46

Please make your christmas present to yourself the end of this relationship.

Shouting at your little boy when he hadn't done anything wrong is a dumping offence on its own, surely? Not to mention the rest of it.

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