He thought that he could handle dating someone with children, seems he can't. If he's been good to your children before, seems like he may have been only tolerating or trying his best to accept them..also it seems like that was the last straw and breaking point in regards to the children...especially if your children are unruly and rambunctious.
He has Ocd and sounds like he was in the mist of doing one of his rituals and your son perhaps ruined the process.
Ocd is serious and nothing to be taken lightly. The fact that you insulted him about it, and perhaps you triggered some insecurities and hurt by saying no one would want him because of it..
If this is his first time acting like this maybe he was already having a bad day, also still fuming about not having the alone and quality time together with you that he had expected. Unfortunately he lost his cool.. perhaps it was unintentional and he regrets it. He did the both of you a favor by breaking up.
We all say things that we regret sometimes. We all say things we don't mean out of anger and frustration sometimes.
The fact that you didn't see fit to break up with him right then and there, and you didn't later...is very concerning. The fact that he treated your children poorly and you planned to stay with him is concerning.
Chances are this may not have been the first time this has happened with the children and perhaps you've brushed it off.
It is very concerning that you say that you're upset about being alone on Christmas, and you'll just have to spend Christmas alone with your children is concerning.
Like they come second after this guy..
Not everyone can handle dating someone with children. In my opinion it was too soon for them to even be around him.
Perhaps it is best, if you resume dating and relationships after your children have left the home, or to a late teenage age.
You can't give any relationship the best version of yourself. You are unable to nurture, incooperate, and prioritize someone else currently. Currently your main priority is your children. You don't have time for much else.
Perhaps in the future, date men with children..not without.
I'm not understanding why you stayed so long and expected a childless man in his late 40s with ocd who lives alone would be accommodating and want to settle down with someone with multiple young children...or even know how to.
This relationship was doomed for failure before it even began.
It never should have began. He never even should have even met your children.
The relationship wasn't going to progress.
He doesn't want to be around your children full time, nor does he want to all live together.
You didn't realize a few weeks to a month that this wasn't going to work out??
He did you both a favor. It sounded like you would have continued to stay if he didn't end things.
Put all the food you can away. If anything can stay out , perhaps get a plastic bin if you can to store these things in.
Donate things you don't have room for.
You're doing the best you are able to currently do as a person and single mother. Even if it's a concil house, you've provided your children with shelter. .and you've made it a home.. even if not as big as you would like..at least you and your children aren't on the streets.
Perhaps later, you will be granted with a larger place...perhaps you can work on that after the holidays.
Don't feel ashamed and embarrassed that you're living in a concil.
Sorry you are heartbroken..perhaps things will get better with time.
Block him. Don't go back. It's not going to work out, nor is it going anywhere.
Have a good time with your kids.
Prioritize them above relationships and men.