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Original poster

Fuming at boyfriend ruined Christmas

141 replies

LydiaRebecca14 · 24/12/2023 21:15

So....
me and my partner don't live together. My house is council, he owns his own house. Neither house is big enough as I have 3 children etc so maybe in the future ...

We agreed I'd cook Xmas dinner at his house as he has a table, much bigger kitchen etc.

We was going to go Xmas food shopping last night together... we said we'd go late to miss the busyness. My baby sitter let me down for my 5 year old so we agreed to go this morning (he was annoyed)

This morning i rang him and said I'm leaving at 9.30 I wanna be at shop for 10 cus it will get busy... he said you'll have to wait or go alone cus I'm bleaching my floors!! I said u can bleach your floors later?

So I went alone with my 5 year old.
It was manic. I then drove 15 miles to his house to drop the Xmas food off that we'd be cooking at his house.
He helped get the stuff out the car, my son then got out the car and went to go in his house to see his cats and he flipped cus he was freshly hoovering and shouted at my son to get back in the car. He was horrible. I obviously told him not to speak to my son in that way and especially my 5 year old. We've been together some time now and he usually good.

I said how on earth can I bring 3 kids here for Xmas day with your OCD and mood like this? It's crazy. He is 46 lives alone.no kids.

Anyway... he's just turned up and dumped all the food at my door we was supposed to be cooking together. There's loads of it. I can't even fit it all in my fridge.
I'm so hurt. So now all the plans have changed. I'm doing Xmas dinner alone at my house with the kids. It's put a right spanner in the works for me.

When he was walking out the door he said happy fukin Xmas yeah.
I'm sat in total shock. And he slammed the door so hard. Envy

OP posts:
Santaiswashinghissleigh · 24/12/2023 21:49

Why can't you take a 5 yo shopping?

SamW98 · 24/12/2023 21:50

EmptyYoghurtPot · 24/12/2023 21:27

Put away what food you can and leave the rest on the table. I’m guessing all the presents etc for the kids are at your house so focus on that.
No need to make a drama out of the change of plans, just tell the kids you are all staying at home for the day. Enjoy watching them open their presents and cobble together some sort of lunch. Christmas isn’t ruined and the kids should come first.

💯 this. Christmas isn’t ruined - make it about just you and the kids.
Put the most essential stuff in the fridge - meat dairy etc - veg won’t go off left out overnight.

Have a fun day with your kids and let grumpy bollox sulk home alone

SamW98 · 24/12/2023 21:52

BrightLightTonight · 24/12/2023 21:24

Why did you leave it so late to get Christmas dinner organised. And why mention that he has his own house and you don’t.

Because that’s what’s relevant here obviously 🙄

PlantsFallLikeDominoes · 24/12/2023 21:53

This will be shit but honestly you're sooo much better off without him. Who does something like that to someone and their dc on Christmas eve!

Veg can stay out the fridge. Get the meat and fridge food in as best you can. I'd probably pour a very large gin and start prepping food for tomorrow but I'd not blame you for just getting in to bed!

SullysBabyMama · 24/12/2023 21:54

I broke up with an ex also right on top of Christmas a few years ago. It was awful.
Every year since I have thought how lucky me and the kids are to not have to worry about him and we can relax and enjoy ourselves!
I hope the same happens for you!

SpringleDingle · 24/12/2023 21:55

Well he’s an arse! Good riddance to bad rubbish. Block, delete, move on.

The veg will be ok in a porch or even a bag hung out of the window to keep cool. Prioritise getting meat and dairy into the fridge. Ask neighbours if you can for a smidge of fridge or freezer space.

You can have a lovely Xmas with the kids tomorrow without Mr. Misery!

OnceUponATimeInChristmasTime · 24/12/2023 21:56

Christmas isn't ruined. If anything, you've had a lucky escape. You'll all be able to completely relax in your own home and not be on edge at his. He sounds absolutely awful and I hope to god that you have dumped him.
Please try not to make a huge deal of it in front of the children. I know it must be so difficult for you right now but they don't need to know all of the details.
Just tell the kids that there has been a slight change of plans and you're all going to have a cozy Christmas at home in your pjs.
Do you have any support/family close by?

Original poster
LydiaRebecca14 · 24/12/2023 21:59

Thankyou everyone.
He is dumped. Most definitely.

No, my family have all gone to Cuba for Christmas :( xxx

OP posts:
ExTheCheater · 24/12/2023 22:01

Stop crying, sort the food away and smile for the kids. You will have a lovely family day without the horrible ex.

nationallampoons · 24/12/2023 22:01

This is probably a sign of things to come. What a prick he is!

Houseoflove · 24/12/2023 22:04

What an arsehole move on Christmas Eve (or any other time for that matter)

Block him so he can't ruin tomorrow for you or the kids - give your kids the best Christmas without being distracted by him.
They will remember.

Christmas isn't ruined, the best gift is finding out what an arse he really is.

Cook some bits tonight, store some bits outside in the cold if need be (veg etc) and just have a lovely day with those kiddies.

PlantsFallLikeDominoes · 24/12/2023 22:06

I split up with my ex husband a couple of weeks before Christmas a few years ago. I thought Christmas would be awful without him but actually we had the nicest Christmas just the three of us. Sounds like you guys will too.

Wayk · 24/12/2023 22:09

What a horrible man. You deserve better. You are a great mother to correct him on speaking to your son in such a horrible manner. Try and enjoy Xmas.

Honeychickpea · 24/12/2023 22:10

EmptyYoghurtPot · 24/12/2023 21:23

OP you already have 3 children, you don’t need another.
New Year, new start?

She will though, unfortunately. And it won't make him stay.

Gcsunnyside23 · 24/12/2023 22:11

That asshole has given you the best present by showing you who he really is before you get further down the line. Deep breaths, allow yourself a little cry and then have the best Christmas with your kids

warmfluffsandpuffs · 24/12/2023 22:11

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request

Opentooffers · 24/12/2023 22:11

Yea, unfortunately it's a really bad idea to try to have a relationship with a man who has no DC's and OCD, especially when you have 3. This was always likely to be a match made in hell. Is he older than you too? Pretty much set in his ways?
Either find someone with DC experience and similar aged DC's, or wait till your DC's are older - yes it's tough to have to wait years, but meantime dating without involving DC's is so much easier.
Just go out and have fun on the side of being a mother. I only had 1 DC and never found a man who was good with children- some have been dumped by wives as they were shit with their own, so experience is no guarantee either. Just better to involve DC's as little as possible when young.

MrsKeats · 24/12/2023 22:13

why can't you take a five year old shopping?
Spectacularly missing the point.
So sorry op. Time for a new start as others have said,

marychristmas44 · 24/12/2023 22:23

Op it's just one meal, remember that. Do what you can with the space/faculties you have. It's only a glorified Sunday roast, I'm sure you can pull together a few spuds, veg and a bit of meat.

Your kids will be happier with you in their safe space where they can be themselves, rather than tip toeing around this arsehole.

I totally understand how annoying and upsetting it must be to have your Christmas plans changed so brutally at such short notice but this could be the best thing to happen to you and your kids. Leave this twat in 2023.

Enjoy Christmas with your kids x

ChristmasSteps295 · 24/12/2023 22:29

The best thing about breaking up with him is that you'll avoid whatever unpleasantness he conjures up next. He'd be absolutely guaranteed to do something rotten in the near future if he thinks this is acceptable. Now you'll be having a nice peaceful time instead of being subjected to it.

That's the thought that comforted me when I left my horrible ex partner.

LightSpeeds · 24/12/2023 22:30

How horrible for you and your children. Try to have a good day tomorrow... 💐

SleepingStandingUp · 24/12/2023 22:37

I'm sorry he's revealed his dickishness today but better today than tomorrow when you're at his mod turkey.

Presumably you cook for the kids at home plenty so just cook what you can. Meat and potatoes, stuffing, carrots, parsnips in the oven. You can always wrap stuff in foil to keep it warm and put it in the oven on low.
It's cold outside so if you've got a shaded area, some of the chilled stuff is Def fine overnight.

You technically only have one extra persons food so there shouldn't be too much to get through. Anything long dates put aside.

He's gonna be stuck home alone with no food. Idiot

itsgoingtobeabumpyride · 24/12/2023 22:43

So glad you've dumped him.
As pps have said get what you can in the fridge or freezer, veg doesn't need to go in the fridge, cram anything perishable in there, ask your neighbours if they have any room.
You don't need loads of pans, cook the potatoes, drain and cover with a tea towel until they need to go in the oven, cook the veg and put in bowls then reheat in the microwave, do a pared down dinner, if you're doing pigs in blankets they can be served cold.
A big christmassy "fuck off pal" to your now ex.
Have a good cry and get it out of your system.
You've had a lucky escape ❤️

SamW98 · 24/12/2023 22:46

Just remember OP, although you feel crap right now, tomorrow you’ll wake up with your children and a kitchen full of food and he’ll have fuck all.

Wishing you a very happy Christmas

Noseybookworm · 24/12/2023 22:50

He's only ruined your Christmas if you let him! He's an arsehole and now you know, think how lucky you are to be rid of him. Have a lovely day with your kids tomorrow, you can stay in pj's, eat when you want and please yourselves 😊