Fuming at boyfriend ruined Christmas

[LydiaRebecca14]

So....
me and my partner don't live together. My house is council, he owns his own house. Neither house is big enough as I have 3 children etc so maybe in the future ...

We agreed I'd cook Xmas dinner at his house as he has a table, much bigger kitchen etc.

We was going to go Xmas food shopping last night together... we said we'd go late to miss the busyness. My baby sitter let me down for my 5 year old so we agreed to go this morning (he was annoyed)

This morning i rang him and said I'm leaving at 9.30 I wanna be at shop for 10 cus it will get busy... he said you'll have to wait or go alone cus I'm bleaching my floors!! I said u can bleach your floors later?

So I went alone with my 5 year old.
It was manic. I then drove 15 miles to his house to drop the Xmas food off that we'd be cooking at his house.
He helped get the stuff out the car, my son then got out the car and went to go in his house to see his cats and he flipped cus he was freshly hoovering and shouted at my son to get back in the car. He was horrible. I obviously told him not to speak to my son in that way and especially my 5 year old. We've been together some time now and he usually good.

I said how on earth can I bring 3 kids here for Xmas day with your OCD and mood like this? It's crazy. He is 46 lives alone.no kids.

Anyway... he's just turned up and dumped all the food at my door we was supposed to be cooking together. There's loads of it. I can't even fit it all in my fridge.
I'm so hurt. So now all the plans have changed. I'm doing Xmas dinner alone at my house with the kids. It's put a right spanner in the works for me.

When he was walking out the door he said happy fukin Xmas yeah.
I'm sat in total shock. And he slammed the door so hard.

You're well rid of him! What a horrible way to treat you and your ds.

You have your kids, your own home, and you don't need to deal with this ridiculous bloke and his moods ever again. You and dc deserve so much better.

You'll get the food sorted somehow, and dc won't care/notice anyway as long as they have presents and you! I hope you have a wonderful Christmas even if not as planned.

Be ready for the abuse tomorrow.

You are supposed to beg him to change his mind, invite him to yours and play nice. DONT.

However, when you dont do that, he will ramp it up, lots of messages about how you ruined Xmas, how he is alone and are you happy about that blah blah. Then, assuming he paid half of the shopping, demanding his half of the money back. Then anger and threats.

So I wouldnt block, you may need those messages going forward. If (WHEN!) he messages you, reply with a simple "Thank for returning the shoppping. Please consider our relationship over". Then if he does kick off (he will) you have that as proof you dumped him.

Odfod. Why are some posters such utter arseholes, picking ridiculous holes in every story.

Op. He has shown you who he is. Pick the food you like the best to store and cook. Make the best of Xmas and get rid of him. He will only drag you down. Thank your lucky stars you don't live together

What time was this? I wonder if he will realise he's overreacted. OCD is an illness and it can send you crazy. Is he around the kids much? Have they eaten at his before?

I had a boyfriend who always created something the night before a big day. Anniversaries, birthdays, Xmas. It was always my fault. Then I realised that's what he was doing and looking back I can't believe I didn't realise it.

Run.

Your Christmas gift is getting away from this toad. Now your job is to take the pressure of yourself and just appreciate what you do have. Tomorrow you can squeeze your babies, sing, dance, laugh, eat and watch crap on the telly.

I know mental health affects people differently, but to be honest, it’s not an excuse. My DP had OCD and even at his worst, would never treat a me or a child like this. He could’ve calmly communicated his reservations and you could’ve planned accordingly. Instead he screamed at a child, didn’t apologise and essentially blew the situation up to get out of hosting. Block and delete.

Lucky escape! No one needs these sort of antics from someone who is supposed to love them and put them first. Your future is brighter already as you have just removed someone who would continue to let you down.

You'll manage OP, even if your kitchen is tiny, lots of good suggestions about storing food. I bet you'll have a lovely dinner with the kids tomorrow. He'll be on beans and toast and serve him right!

Block him, if he knocks on the door don't answer, he's shown his true colours and they're not good.
Move on to someone nicer who won't shout at your child.
You will find someone nicer. X

Bright side: he gave you the food.

He’s a child.

Well done on not living with him, so much easier to get rid of, which you have already done.

Yera get rid of him. I couldn’t be dealing with him “bleaching” floors at 9am, was he cleaning up a murder scene of what?
In all seriousness though, I think you’ll have a much nicer Xmas at home with your kiddos in your own space without a manic bleacher to pander to x hope it’s a great one ❤️

By the way he's not ruined your Christmas he's ruined his own and the rest of his life, because you are not going to forgive him and you are going on to have a lot better life than you would have had with him. 100% x

Further gift....... its very bad for a kids health (well anyone's really) to be breathing in bleach fumes. The place would stink, your kids would have chemical fumes in them and every single time they looked like they might drop something he would go into overdrive, how much fun would that be?!

What a total c-nt!
Definitely for the best, never ever forgive him for this and enjoy your little family and food:

Don’t worry about doing anything perfect and if you have too much of something just share it with neighbours.

I can’t imagine how hard it is but it’s true beginning of a beautiful new life where are you are free from someone so cruel.

Have a lovely Christmas with your kids OP ❤️

Great advice

As others said, best rid. I don't think it's necessary to be with a bloke who also has kids, as one PP suggested. They just need not to be an arsehole. I didn't have any kids when I got with my ex, she had two kids. Always did my best to treat them properly, and when it ended after 14 years continued have a good relationship with them. Nothing about a bloke having their own means they're any good treating kids properly. Many are shit Dads 🤷‍♂️

Do you have a camping cooler? Can you bung some ice in it and save some of the other food? Then just enjoy a massive feast for the rest of the week.

No healthy person acts this way. Focus on yourself and the kids. Consider it a sign that 2024 is time for a fresh start. A world of possibilities opens itself to you.

Put what food you can in the boot of your car, should be cold enough.

Or have you got plastic storage boxes you can fill and leave outside in the cold, brick on the lid to keep foxes and squirrels out.

That takes care of the food.

And as for the ex boyfriend, what a bastard. I hope he goes hungry on Xmas day.

Sounds like you just lost the weight I'm trying to lose this year.

What a colossal wanker.

You can do so much better than a crank who yells at your little lad, please for his sake, dont let this epic prick back.

How much extra food was bought for one extra adult?

None of it should spoil. hell Ive my veg in the garage and the turkey is defrosting out there as Ive no room in the fridge. If I didnt have a garage Id leave it in the boot - where the cans of pop are at the moment

Tbh Id say the Op has had a wee over exaggeration ( Im not saying her post isnt true, but the enormity of excess food and not enough pans may be bourne from the enormity of whats happened.

Op, just crack on and have a family day with the kids and stick the idiot on block for a few days till you are in a better place and able to discuss whats happened and where you go from here

Helpful, not

Bleaching his floors?!

anyway, just get a nice dinner made tomorrow, improvise a table, it’ll be fun and the kids’ll love it.

look it’s a shot time to find out he’s a knob but better now than when you live together.