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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband annoyed that dinner is late

127 replies

Hannamana · 23/12/2023 21:46

Tonight I was about to make a nice dinner (roasted chicken, potato gratin, an apple & walnut salad - so a bit of effort).

I came downstairs and my husband asked when we were eating. I said it would be ready about 8.15pm.

He got annoyed because he thought this was late to eat. He said he was hungry and tired. We normally eat a bit earlier, but it's the holidays and we're off work, so I said it should be ok that it's a bit later.

I felt like he was being ungrateful when I was cooking a nice meal (and he hardly ever cooks).

He then complained more and talked about having toast instead.

I was really annoyed, and said I would put the food in the freezer and cook it another night. I turned the oven off. He then started to back down and asked me to go ahead and cook it.

I cooked it anyway, because I had the food, but was really annoyed.

Do your partners ever have moments like this? Surely if someone else is cooking for you, you don't complain about it being a bit later than you'd want?

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 23/12/2023 21:48

He could have had a bit of toast if he was hangry, no big deal. You both could have communicated a bit better.

Mojolostforever · 23/12/2023 21:50

I do think that 8.15 is a bit late tbh. But he could have had some toast to tide him over until the meal was ready.

Janieforever · 23/12/2023 21:51

8.15 would be very late for me to eat. If my husband offered to cook and made at that time, I’d let him crack on, but I’d make my own meal and he could put the left overs in the fridge.

SecondUsername4me · 23/12/2023 21:51

When he cooks what time does he serve it? Was it pre agreed that you were cooking tonight?

What time is dinner usually?

Wolfiefan · 23/12/2023 21:53

He was hungry and that is late to eat dinner.

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 23/12/2023 21:53

8.15 would have been way too late for me. If have been annoyed by that time without prior warning too. With proper warning i could have eaten lunch later.

Hannamana · 23/12/2023 21:55

Is 8.15pm really so late to eat, when you don't have work the next day?

OP posts:
aSwarmOfMidgies · 23/12/2023 21:56

For many people yes it's too late

And changing eating or sleeping patterns is very disruptive for your metabolism

Ladyj84 · 23/12/2023 21:56

8:15 to eat regardless of what day it is but sorry I see his point I wouldn't ever cook that late for hubby.

Olika · 23/12/2023 21:56

For me 8.15pm is too late but my DH probably would be ok with it. I suppose it depends on what time you usually have dinner.

Hannamana · 23/12/2023 21:57

We normally eat about 7.30pm during the week.

OP posts:
CrapBucket · 23/12/2023 21:58

I made myself a meal around 9pm today, I am very flexible about when I eat so I think it’s shitty to moan when someone is kindly cooking for you! The only exception is if you have diabetes and need food at certain time. But even then you can cook your bloody own surely…

pponk · 23/12/2023 21:59

id have died of starvation by then, but we eat by 6. I think if it's going to be later then your usual, it's best to agree together on the times so you can have a snack if that's what you need (I would need to plan one)

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 23/12/2023 22:00

If you normally eat at 7.30, then of course 8.15 is fine. It's not even an hour late!

Wishitsnows · 23/12/2023 22:00

That time sounds fine to eat. He’s not a toddler.

Quercus5 · 23/12/2023 22:01

I’d be grateful, yes, but I would probably snack while I was waiting then find I had no appetite by the time the food was ready.

Olika · 23/12/2023 22:01

8.15pm isn't that late in that case.

Jill23 · 23/12/2023 22:01

8.15 is a perfectly normal time for adults to eat dinner. And the person who cooks dictates! He could’ve had a small snack/nibbles if he was that hungry, surely? Sounds like he was being really childish, especially as you’d gone to a lot of effort.

Iloveacurry · 23/12/2023 22:01

8.15 isn’t too late to eat, especially at the weekend. Perhaps he should cook dinner occasionally then if it’s such issue.

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 23/12/2023 22:02

Hannamana · 23/12/2023 21:55

Is 8.15pm really so late to eat, when you don't have work the next day?

It is late to eat whether you have work the next day or not.

what time did you actually sit down to eat in the end?

MargotBamborough · 23/12/2023 22:03

For many people 8:15 is a completely normal time to eat dinner.

If you normally eat dinner at 6pm on the dot every night and you didn't warn him that it would be significantly later tonight then I can see why he might be a bit put out but it doesn't really sound that way from your posts.

Either way, he's not 6, it's not past his bedtime, he could have just had a snack to tide him over and been polite about it.

Janieforever · 23/12/2023 22:03

Wishitsnows · 23/12/2023 22:00

That time sounds fine to eat. He’s not a toddler.

Well I’m all grown up and I find it far too late to eat. If my husband was serving at 8,15, as said, I’d be a bit fuck that,make something for myself and tell him to fridge the left overs.

onky time I ever eat that late is if I have guests for a dinner party.

fedupwithbeinghot · 23/12/2023 22:03

I don't think that's late. It's a very common time to eat when you are in a restaurant so perfectly acceptable on a Saturday at home.

He was rude and grumpy

Nellieinthebarn · 23/12/2023 22:04

The only correct response to someone cooking you a meal is 'Thank you' any sort of complaining and criticism is unacceptable.

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 23/12/2023 22:04

Quercus5 · 23/12/2023 22:01

I’d be grateful, yes, but I would probably snack while I was waiting then find I had no appetite by the time the food was ready.

it is essentially this for me. If i knew dinner was going to be this late I would have eaten lunch later. I would be incredibly hungry waiting until 8.15 but if i had a snack i wouldnt be hungry enough for the meal.