Husband annoyed that dinner is late

[Hannamana]

Tonight I was about to make a nice dinner (roasted chicken, potato gratin, an apple & walnut salad - so a bit of effort).

I came downstairs and my husband asked when we were eating. I said it would be ready about 8.15pm.

He got annoyed because he thought this was late to eat. He said he was hungry and tired. We normally eat a bit earlier, but it's the holidays and we're off work, so I said it should be ok that it's a bit later.

I felt like he was being ungrateful when I was cooking a nice meal (and he hardly ever cooks).

He then complained more and talked about having toast instead.

I was really annoyed, and said I would put the food in the freezer and cook it another night. I turned the oven off. He then started to back down and asked me to go ahead and cook it.

I cooked it anyway, because I had the food, but was really annoyed.

Do your partners ever have moments like this? Surely if someone else is cooking for you, you don't complain about it being a bit later than you'd want?

This. Either suck it up and be grateful or cook for yourself.

I think cooking someone a meal is a lovely thing to do so I would be annoyed at the reaction.

But I also wouldn't eat at 815

8:15 is too late for me. But then I'm usually in bed that time.

I'm from a working class background and always had my "tea" at 5:30. Met my very posh husband 15 years ago and am now forced to have dinner at 7:30 each night. On a few occasions it's not served until after 8pm and I'm usually climbing the walls with hunger by then. I'm with your husband on this one.

Yes it's late to eat considering you weren't at work so could have started cooking earlier

This isn't about the food, it's about poor communication - on both sides.

He shouldn't have grumbled but also a heads up that you were eating a bit later, earlier on in the day would have avoided all of this.

If people don't know about a fancy pants meal being served a bit later than usual they will probably assume they are getting 'beans on toast' at the usual time.

Instead of complaining he should have cooked the meal himself.

We often eat at a similar time (maybe later) in the week and at weekends, but appreciate lots of people usually eat earlier.
Sometimes me or kids will have a snack before dinner , DH rarely does.

Really, really normal to eat at 8.15.

He sounds like a fool. Tell him to grow up and sort his own food out then.

He's not 4 years old.

He was rude to complain.

Nothing wasn't stopping him from getting a few crackers to have until dinner was ready.

8.15pm is a normal time to eat for me but if the person doing the cooking is planning to do it earlier or later than usual they should let the rest of the household know in advance, so everyone else can prepare accordingly.

OP's husband was very rude to have made it such a big deal though. Eating later than usual is the most minor of annoyances and can be easily fixed with some toast. Ultimately she is cooking him a very nice meal and the only appropriate thing to say is thank you!

He was rude and ungrateful. It’s not as if you normally eat at 5pm, it’s only 45 minutes later? Time for him to do more cooking l think

Blimey how do some of you cope with eating out? 🤣.

He was probably hangry.

8.15 isn't late but if he was already starving when he asked and you hadn't started cooking yet I can kind of see why he told you not to bother.

I mean, sometimes I'm so hungry that I'd make some toast than wait around to a proper meal.

8.15pm is a totally normal dinner time, it’s barely even late if you normally eat at 7.30pm. On the continent it’s early! If someone were to cook for me aimed at that time and I was hungry/used to eating 45 minutes earlier, I’d pour them and me some wine and offer to put some pistachios and olives in bowls. Especially as it’s Christmas – a slightly later dinner just means you can have a cocktail hour and some fancy snacks.

My MIL forces us to eat dinner at 4.30pm as if we’re in nursery; she’d be dead by 8.15pm.

Good Lord, who are all these people eating dinner at 6! You must be starving overnight! (I joke, I joke, eat whenever you want of course!)

fwiw by the time the toddler is fed/bathed/asleep we tend to only get round to starting making our dinner at 8.15, so I’d personally have no problem with it. Your DH is ungrateful and doesn’t deserve his dinner, frankly. Any reason he couldn’t cook?

Insane entitlement levels on this thread. Imagine being so far up your own arse that you can't bare to feel hunger for a short space of time when someone is doing such a lovely thing for you.

When did we get to such a point where people genuinely feel their own needs must be instantly met and fuck anyone else's, including their own wife.

What was he doing while you were cooking? Is there a reason he couldn't help you, and speed it up? Personally of my husband was that rude to me I'd have called his bluff and put everything in the freezer, he'd be having beans on toast.

Surely somebody is allowed to say to their spouse that they find 8:15pm a bit late for dinner?

To me, yes. Far too late to start eating. I like to eat my evening meal about 7 - 7:30pm.

It's 45 minutes and she had planned a lovely meal and had all the ingredients out! It's just rude and unkind to huff about it and be passive aggressively muttering about toast (clearly a guilt trip as he didn't actually want her to stop cooking and to have toast instead).

@Aprilx Of course you can tell your partner your preferences etc but his timing and delivery was rude. 45 minutes is really not a huge difference.

that's is late for me as eat around 6ish.

He sounds stroppy.It was a one off. He could have grabbed a biscuit in the meantime. I’m so fed up with reading about rude men.

Nonsense. 8:15 is probably the earliest any of us eat, including a teenager.