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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband annoyed that dinner is late

127 replies

Hannamana · 23/12/2023 21:46

Tonight I was about to make a nice dinner (roasted chicken, potato gratin, an apple & walnut salad - so a bit of effort).

I came downstairs and my husband asked when we were eating. I said it would be ready about 8.15pm.

He got annoyed because he thought this was late to eat. He said he was hungry and tired. We normally eat a bit earlier, but it's the holidays and we're off work, so I said it should be ok that it's a bit later.

I felt like he was being ungrateful when I was cooking a nice meal (and he hardly ever cooks).

He then complained more and talked about having toast instead.

I was really annoyed, and said I would put the food in the freezer and cook it another night. I turned the oven off. He then started to back down and asked me to go ahead and cook it.

I cooked it anyway, because I had the food, but was really annoyed.

Do your partners ever have moments like this? Surely if someone else is cooking for you, you don't complain about it being a bit later than you'd want?

OP posts:
CandyLeBonBon · 23/12/2023 22:49

Blimey I often don't finish work until 6:30pm and dinner is rarely ready before 7:45. It's really not that late - especially if they normally eat at 7:30pm.

I'm a single parent and remember the days of having to eat earlier because of little tummies - but OP's dh is not a 5 year old and the dynamic between them sound a bit petty if this exchange is anything to go by?

ellabella2345 · 23/12/2023 22:57

For us not at all tends to be standard time, but I know culturally in the uk people eat earlier. When my partner gets like this it’s normally because he’s “hangry” I think women cope better with waiting than men! Just let him crack on and have a snack

QueenBitch666 · 23/12/2023 22:59

He would have got that dinner over his head. Moaning ungrateful tosser

brainworms · 23/12/2023 22:59

My gods men are such whiny babies.

SamW98 · 23/12/2023 23:00

QueenBitch666 · 23/12/2023 22:59

He would have got that dinner over his head. Moaning ungrateful tosser

That was my first thought so bit surprised to see all the ‘poor hungry man’ posts 🤷‍♀️

EvlisPersley · 23/12/2023 23:09

I can understand why you were a bit miffed - but it’s all
down to communication really🥴

8.15 is far too late for my husband no matter what day of the week it is- his stomach doesn’t care about it being weekend 🥴😂😂… a snack would ruin his appetite.

Perhaps having your special meal as a late lunch at weekend might have worked ?

successismyonlymotherfuckingoptionfailuresnot · 23/12/2023 23:30

8.15 is far too late for my husband no matter what day of the week it is- his stomach doesn’t care about it being weekend 🥴😂😂… a snack would ruin his appetite

8.15 is far too late?

Do you and your husband never go out for a meal with other adults?

A snack would "ruin his appetite?"

All sounds so rigid and inflexible. Do you eat at home at 6pm on the dot together every night?

WtP · 23/12/2023 23:48

Christ on a bike do people have such rigid times they have to eat (unless its a medical reason)
Some of have/had jobs where getting a meal is a lottery. Think I once went 27 hrs with nothing more than water/coffee.
I did/do all the cooking at home and if it was an hour late my wife never complained. She understood life sometimes gets in the way of timetables.
Our usual time was 19:30 but it could slip to 21:00 etc
Your husband needs to get a grip or step up and do the bloody cooking himself.

DryIce · 23/12/2023 23:49

I think he's being rude, you're making him something nice and worth waiting for.

I am really surprised at all the answers though - 815 seems a very normal dinner time. If you go to a restaurant 730 is a common if not early slot, and by the time you've ordered and been served it'll be around then

What time does everyone go to bed?!

Berlinlover · 23/12/2023 23:50

I wouldn’t sleep a wink if I ate a meal at 8.15.

WtP · 24/12/2023 00:16

Berlinlover · 23/12/2023 23:50

I wouldn’t sleep a wink if I ate a meal at 8.15.

So you have never booked a table for 7-7:30pm then?
As you will be still eating at 8:15pm!!
Don't go to Spain then as it's unusual to eat before 8pm

LorlieS · 24/12/2023 00:21

My husband does all of the cooking in our house for all of us so I don't complain!
I guess 8.15pm is late but he could have had a snack if he was hungry?

Ju1ieAndrews · 24/12/2023 00:24

Presumably you've told him that he can be responsible for cooking the rest of the meals this holiday then, to ensure he gets to eat at a time that suits him?

mantyzer · 24/12/2023 03:56

8.15pm is not that late.

mantyzer · 24/12/2023 03:57

@DryIce On here everyone seems to be tucked up in bed by 8pm. Its a forum full of people with no social life and even less imagination.

JanglingJack · 24/12/2023 04:00

Sounds like you were both a bit Hangry - have a snack to you going then... Toast fine...

chillin12 · 24/12/2023 04:06

SamW98 · 23/12/2023 22:36

Are people meal times really that rigid? Mine varies from day to day. Sometimes I eat at 5.30 other times not till 9 - depends how I feel each day.

Don’t I’ve ever been so starving I couldn’t wait a couple of hours for a meal someone else was cooking fur me.

My thoughts exactly 😂

oneflewoverthe · 24/12/2023 04:09

8:15 is normal for us. I don't get home until 6 in a weekday and want to get DS to bed before we start cooking (he eats at the childminders). I don't see why it's so difficult for most people to wait until then. He could have had a snack. But maybe he's just having an off day.

oneflewoverthe · 24/12/2023 04:11

Are most people in bed by 8pm or writhing in pain if they eat past 6?

Flatandhappy · 24/12/2023 04:30

So weird, 8.15 is a perfectly fine time to eat dinner, we used to eat at 9 but as we have got older 8 works better. 6pm is toddler teatime.

Shoxfordian · 24/12/2023 04:47

We eat anywhere between 7-9 so I don't think 8pm is too late at all
Sounds like your husband was being quite childish

Aprilx · 24/12/2023 05:25

I am going to assume he doesn’t expect you to wait on him hand and foot and that it was simply your turn to cook tonight. And in that case, yes I think planning to cook dinner at 8:15pm is a bit late and I would be annoyed with DH if, when it was his turn to cook, he didn’t plan to until 8:15pm, this is not the normal time for us to eat.

Codlingmoths · 24/12/2023 05:35

The next afternoon you should ask him what time dinner is, and do nothing yourself to prep it. He’s an adult.

GreatGateauxsby · 24/12/2023 05:37

I don't like eating late.
I can cope with 7/ 7.15 but if it's 7.30 and I'm not eating I am unhappy 😬😬😬
I "need" to know it advance I'm having a late dinner so I can mentally prepare 😅

my DH is a slooooow cook.

In our house I'd just say "sounds lovely darling. I'm going to have a quick eggs on toast but will have my portion / leftovers tomorrow".
I do dinners as default as that way his can "keep" if he wants it later

Your DH is unreasonable to moan as

  • 8.15 is not a mad time to eat. I know I'm a bit unusual so I try and be accommodating as it's me that is the exception.
  • he should just make his own thing not complain / moan.
  • and if he feels that strongly he should make dinners as standard
BlissfullyIgnorant · 24/12/2023 05:40

Sounds like he's not just hungry; he's hangry.
8.15 is very late to be eating even if it's not a 'school night'.
If he rarely cooks, tell him it's his night for cooking from time to time but accept it'll be some ultraprocessed cack from freezer to oven.
Does he ever do the dishwasher or clearing up in any way?

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