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Original poster

Husband annoyed that dinner is late

127 replies

Hannamana · 23/12/2023 21:46

Tonight I was about to make a nice dinner (roasted chicken, potato gratin, an apple & walnut salad - so a bit of effort).

I came downstairs and my husband asked when we were eating. I said it would be ready about 8.15pm.

He got annoyed because he thought this was late to eat. He said he was hungry and tired. We normally eat a bit earlier, but it's the holidays and we're off work, so I said it should be ok that it's a bit later.

I felt like he was being ungrateful when I was cooking a nice meal (and he hardly ever cooks).

He then complained more and talked about having toast instead.

I was really annoyed, and said I would put the food in the freezer and cook it another night. I turned the oven off. He then started to back down and asked me to go ahead and cook it.

I cooked it anyway, because I had the food, but was really annoyed.

Do your partners ever have moments like this? Surely if someone else is cooking for you, you don't complain about it being a bit later than you'd want?

OP posts:
HardcoreLadyType · 23/12/2023 22:04

8:15 is quite late, if you usually eat at 7:30, but he could just have had a piece of toast to tide him over, if he was so hungry.

Isn't your fridge stuffed with lovely food that he could have made a quick snack with? Mine certainly is! (Not every day, but definitely today!)

Janieforever · 23/12/2023 22:05

Nellieinthebarn · 23/12/2023 22:04

The only correct response to someone cooking you a meal is 'Thank you' any sort of complaining and criticism is unacceptable.

Not in my marriage, I never simper.

Lucy377 · 23/12/2023 22:05

If the normal time is 7.30 then 8.15 isn't that late.

Willow12345 · 23/12/2023 22:07

People are so rigid! We eat between 8.30 and 9.30. And I'd be grateful if anyone cooked me a meal, regardless of the time.

Original poster
Hannamana · 23/12/2023 22:07

Quercus5 · 23/12/2023 22:01

I’d be grateful, yes, but I would probably snack while I was waiting then find I had no appetite by the time the food was ready.

Can't you just have a little snack, like some crackers, so you're still hungry but not starving?

OP posts:
MargotBamborough · 23/12/2023 22:08

Janieforever · 23/12/2023 22:03

Well I’m all grown up and I find it far too late to eat. If my husband was serving at 8,15, as said, I’d be a bit fuck that,make something for myself and tell him to fridge the left overs.

onky time I ever eat that late is if I have guests for a dinner party.

Show quote history

So you can eat that late then.

As can just about anyone over the age of 7.

Ifulikepinacoladas · 23/12/2023 22:11

Seeing as he doesn't hardly cook and you were doing all the work, he sounds really bloody rude. I think people are missing that point. So what if its a bit later than usual? The fact OP was going to all that effort should mean that, yes he cld comment that it's later than he'd have liked (though imo he shouldnt), but end of. To talk about having toast instead in childish.

Fwiw we eat late, but I don't think that's the important bit here. To get annoyed and to complain is not ok. As PP said he's not a toddler and can wait...especially if him cooking isn't a viable alternative!

Nellieinthebarn · 23/12/2023 22:11

Janieforever · 23/12/2023 22:05

Not in my marriage, I never simper.

Show quote history

Neither do I, I think you misunderstood my meaning.

If I have been kind enough to cook for someone I expect them to be polite and say thank you, not complain and tantrum like a child. If the OPs husband was too hungry to wait he could've made a snack before having his dinner. There was no need to complain about the timing.

If someone cooks me a meal, I say thank you. Even if its not to my taste or at the 'wrong' time, I would still say thank you, if not for the food then for the effort. I don't think common politeness is simpering.

zeibesaffron · 23/12/2023 22:13

815 is fine for me especially if I am not cooking - he is being unreasonable!!

aSwarmOfMidgies · 23/12/2023 22:13

Can .. yes - but I would be unlikely to appreciate anything and would avoid it at all costs - I would refuse dinner invite from people who cook late

If it was an option between wait for something late or make myself something , I'd make myself something

It's clearly another case of people are different and you are being unreasonable not to recognise and accept that

MargotBamborough · 23/12/2023 22:15

Thinking about it, yesterday my two year old had to eat dinner in a service station at 9pm after about 6 hours in the car due to delays at Eurotunnel border control. He didn't nap in the car all day either so had been awake for about 14 hours at this point.

He made way less fuss about it than the OP's husband and some of the people on here.

Iwant2beJessicaFletcher · 23/12/2023 22:23

8.15 would have been fine by me, but my DM would have eaten her own arm by then as she was so hungry - shes very regimented with food times. 5.30pm is the latest she would willingly eat and she would prefer 4.30/5pm.

I suppose if your DH knew you were eating that late earlier in the day he would have planned his lunch around it (had it later or eaten more to tide him over) so I can understand why he was annoyed if he was genuinely hungry and you hadn't communicated it would be later than usual.

I think communication is key here - discuss it earlier in the day so everyone knows whats going on.

AlisonDonut · 23/12/2023 22:24

Saying 'thank you' to someone who has cooked for you is not simpering.

I personally can't eat that late but that's not the issue here, perhaps OP you need to leave him to do the cooking for a bit.

maggiso · 23/12/2023 22:28

Some people get less reasonable when hungry! My DH is one of them!

Rainbow1901 · 23/12/2023 22:30

Personally I wouldn't want to eat that late but then I do the majority of the cooking in our house. But late or not DH wouldn't dare complain. He'd just get a snack and then still eat a full meal when it was ready!!
But if out for a meal - it's not unreasonable to eat at that time - just eat well earlier in the day to keep going.
OP your DH is being unreasonable it's not as if you regularly serve a late meal is it? Or is it?

Epidote · 23/12/2023 22:30

I get really angry if I'm hungry but I cook most of my dinners. If I know dinner is going to be late not everyone eat at the same hour as me, I just got a snack to keep me going.

It is not the first time my snack makes me full and the I can't enjoy the main meal at the same level as the rest but I don't give a toss. I can cook it other time myself or enjoy leftovers the day after.

Big cooked meals are not only about the food are also about the company, the occasion etc.

determinedtomakethiswork · 23/12/2023 22:31

It must've been very satisfying when he backtracked! Of course, he could've made something earlier if he'd wanted to. Nothing was stopping him.

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/12/2023 22:31

Hannamana · 23/12/2023 21:57

We normally eat about 7.30pm during the week.

So he's probably hungry for it by 7.15pm, because your body knows when you eat. So that's an hour of feeling hungry.

My dad likes to eat late even though everyone else doesn't and he regularly makes dinner later and later while everyone else fumes.

However, I'm of the mind that you don't criticise people doing something for you so I would just have snacked.

pickledandpuzzled · 23/12/2023 22:31

The Only relevant information is what time lunch was. If I hadn’t eaten for a while, and it was still over an hour to my next meal, I’d have needed to eat.

There’s nothing worse than being hungry when someone starts cooking something elaborate.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 23/12/2023 22:34

It would be late for us as we tend to eat around 7. I’d have gone past it and not be hungry again by 8.15. Plus I get massive indigestion eating that late.

Grimchmas · 23/12/2023 22:35

He was hangry so BU, and should have had a small snack.

I think YANBU to cook for 8.15 but that YWBU to have reacted in that way.

Let this one go, it's no big deal.

Grimchmas · 23/12/2023 22:36

pickledandpuzzled · 23/12/2023 22:31

The Only relevant information is what time lunch was. If I hadn’t eaten for a while, and it was still over an hour to my next meal, I’d have needed to eat.

There’s nothing worse than being hungry when someone starts cooking something elaborate.

Something elaborate that he asked her to cook

SamW98 · 23/12/2023 22:36

Are people meal times really that rigid? Mine varies from day to day. Sometimes I eat at 5.30 other times not till 9 - depends how I feel each day.

Don’t I’ve ever been so starving I couldn’t wait a couple of hours for a meal someone else was cooking fur me.

Daffodilsandtuplips · 23/12/2023 22:43

Hannamana · 23/12/2023 21:57

We normally eat about 7.30pm during the week.

45 minutes isn’t too long to wait if you normally eat at 7.30. It would be different if you usually eat at 6.00pm.

Renamed · 23/12/2023 22:48

It’s not crazy late but I guess if you have a normal dinner time you might want a few almonds or a bit of bread to tide you over… DP usually serves up pretty late and I grab a bit of bread and cheese or something when I get in from work

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