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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband doesn’t want me to to post anything on socials

111 replies

NewMeNewUs · 22/12/2023 22:53

My husband has an instagram profile and a Facebook profile but he hasn’t been active on their or posted anything for approx a year now.

Today he asked me not to post any pictures of the kids on socials anymore as it makes him uncomfortable and now they are getting older he doesn’t think we should put pictures up of them without their permission.

and then tells me he doesn’t want any pics of him on there either!! It’s got my back up…..feels very weird to me! Would you be worried something else is going on…..?

OP posts:
DeedlessIndeed · 22/12/2023 22:56

I agree with your DH about no photo's of the children without their consent. I get that everyone has a different view, but I'd feel really strongly about that.

I also don't really want my photo on social media either, but I've always felt similarly. I used to use SM but one day just felt so sickened by it all. I get how he could change his mind over time.

Do you think that he is trying to distance himself from you online? What do you think his reasons are?

MargaritaThyme · 22/12/2023 22:56

Good for him. That sounds like a perfectly reasonable & sensible request to me. Why on earth would anyone want to post pictures of their children on social media anyway?

MangshorJhol · 22/12/2023 22:58

DH has no social media. No FB. No IG. Nothing. He has no wish to appear on social media. And asked that I don’t post pictures of our kids online as well and I concurred. It’s not that weird of a request unless you live a chunk of your life online.

Clemfandango95 · 22/12/2023 22:58

Obviously I don't know your relationship...

But I too have asked friends and family not to post photos of my baby, and I also use the explanation that it's should be up to her what digital footprint she chooses to have, when she's old enough of course.

EmmaEmerald · 22/12/2023 22:59

Seems wise
if he’s not been active on social for a while, he’s probably going to delete soon

not personal to you.

Madamlulu · 22/12/2023 22:59

Nothing weird at all. Sounds like he's got his head switched on!

AzureBlue99 · 22/12/2023 22:59

You are the weird one. Being active on social media isn't compulsory. And he is right about the kids.

TomatoSandwiches · 22/12/2023 22:59

If my husband requested this I would have no issue understanding and respecting it tbh.

Why do you have an issue with it?

tenbob · 22/12/2023 23:00

How much do you currently post? Do you have a public profile?

I have several friends and acquaintances who could really benefit from someone telling them they don’t need to post so much, especially of their families. It’s pretty cringe

But even if it’s occasional, he has every right to be ask and insist his pictures aren’t posted
And he shouldn’t have to even ask for your kids to be kept off, that’s just common sense unless it’s a very restricted friends and family account

bakewellbride · 22/12/2023 23:01

I'm with your dh too.

HoHoHoliday · 22/12/2023 23:03

There's nothing weird about his request, it's very sensible, I hope you intend to respect his wishes.

anxiousnanna · 22/12/2023 23:03

good for him.. i don't think its odd or weird at all

Cherrysoup · 22/12/2023 23:05

Totally agree. I’d be furious if anyone posted pics of me or my dc on social media. I have a sil and a friend who posts every picture ever of their kids and the kids go mad! All the unflattering ones, embarrassing ones, from when they were tiny. I think it’s really inappropriate. My mate does the classic back to school photo then rants about how awful the school is. That’s not helpful for the safety of her child and the school must be aware of her rants.

Original poster
NewMeNewUs · 22/12/2023 23:05

Thanks all for your replies ladies . I really do appreciate. I love mums net for hearing views.

I absolutely intend to respect his wishes, absolutely. They are his kids aswel.
tbh maybe I post too much about our lives and the things we do…: maybe I should use this for myself to take a step back from socials too.

thanks again ladies

OP posts:
KnowThyself · 22/12/2023 23:05

When the internet was in its infancy it was indeed wondrous. I’m not saying AI is the end if the world but how would you feel if someone took one of your children’s faces and used them in generated images of abuse because that can happen now. It’s changed a lot in the last couple of years. I took myself off a number of years ago and really what does it matter.

Ineedwinenow · 22/12/2023 23:05

My husband doesn’t have any social media pages, we don’t have children but he has asked me not to post photos or mention him on social media, that is his choice and I fully accept and support his decision, I don’t have many photos on either of myself as we both absolutely hate our photos being taken but I do have a couple and once every year or two I may update my profile picture

HeddaGarbled · 22/12/2023 23:05

No. I think he’s right. I’ve stopped too.

MargaritaThyme · 22/12/2023 23:06

Madamlulu · 22/12/2023 22:59

Nothing weird at all. Sounds like he's got his head switched on!

Exactly. Lucky kids for having at least one parent who cares more about their privacy & welfare than he does about ‘Likes’.

Original poster
NewMeNewUs · 22/12/2023 23:06

Also I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed all the replies were from ladies 😂 thanks everyone

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 22/12/2023 23:13

I stopped posting pictures of DD when she was 8 and expressed a wish not to be on there, my SM was locked down to family and friends that knew her/parents of her friends already. I stopped posting pictures of myself and avoided being in other people's photos when I started to work in a school as I lived in the community and likely parents or the teens I taught would have connections and see them. I might take photos of the location we have visited but won't include people more for myself than anything

I do upload photos I ve taken straight onto FB but in a locked album only I have access to incase I ever lose my phone

StaunchMomma · 22/12/2023 23:34

My DP would be so embarrassed to be splashed all over socials. I don't really post DS either.

It's not a necessity to put family pics on socials.

NuffSaidSam · 22/12/2023 23:39

I think he's absolutely right.

It's probably time for you to have a think about why this has got your back up. Why does a ban on telling/showing everyone what you're doing trouble you? Why does everyone need to know? What does it bring you to share your life on this way?

Maybe time for you to stop the socials too.

LifeofBrienne · 22/12/2023 23:43

Lots of people will come on these threads on MN and say it’s really wrong to post photos of your kids on social media. Although I don’t think anyone I know puts up photos of their kids on a public platform, in my world it’s absolutely the norm to share family holiday pics etc with friends on Facebook, and it’s really nice to see them. Honestly I think that there’s not a high risk of permanent psychological scarring and damage if, for example, a boring photo of DS1 eating ice cream age 10 in front of the Eiffel Tower somehow made it into the public domain. But I know that’s not a popular viewpoint on here!

Aquamarine1029 · 22/12/2023 23:46

Engage with your real life, not that fake, social media bullshit that no one even cares about. If I were your husband, I would not be impressed with your posting about everything you do.

LaughingCat · 22/12/2023 23:52

My hubby was really upset around 11 years ago, when I posted what I thought was a nice photo of us on FB without mentioning it to him first - he didn’t really want any images of himself online. I’ve never really thought about it since but have also not posted any photos of us either. Seems legit to me, especially if he barely uses it.