Mid-life break ups - do men find it easier to find new partners?

[Whatsgoingonwithmyhead]

The men I know of who have become single again in mid-life (late 30s onwards) all seem to have found it easy to find new female partners (including both new flings & new long term relationships), irrespective of objective attractiveness.

Whereas women have found it harder, even if attractive.

Is this a thing?

Maybe the women don't want to get involved in another relationship?

I think there are a lot more women looking for relationships in general than men. So yes I think it’s much easier for a man to go out and find a woman to settle down with if that’s what he wants.

I had 6 years of dating in my 30’s and it did seem almost impossible to find a decent person.

However id say women are more selective than men, I guess if have settled I could have been with someone sooner.

I think it comes down to a difference in what people are looking for.

Women are generally looking for something that will work out long term.

Men who are just out of a long relationship are more likely just looking for someone to have some fun with. Someone to go out with, have sex with. They're not so bothered about whether it'll be suitable long term.

Obviously I'm generalising, stereotyping, but I do think that way more women have one eye on the long term suitability of a relationship than men do, and so that means the dating pool for men is far wider.

And that's before you get into discrepancies like the amount of childcare each sex has to do, disposable income etc.

I’m older (50’s) and find generally women are much more selective about a new partner and in less of a rush to get into anything new.
I’ve also found that at least with my circle, women are much more comfortable with being single and enjoying their own space than men the same age

Generalising is difficult between men and women, so many variables, attractiveness, personality, disabilities, income, time spent actually trying to date. Today, I reckon It's equally hard for both genders, to be honest, though I'd agree that women do spend more time searching, especially in their thirties.

They are less fussy

I am mid-40s and got divorced last year. I am so much pickier now than I was when I met my husband in my early 20s. The men I meet seems to be a lot less picky.

On the other hand, if all these middle aged men are finding women I guess there are lots of middle aged women who finds men too since they have found each other, unless the men have turned gay or they are in relationships with much younger women of course.

I think men are less picky and have more to gain generally in relationships than women do, as it's still very unbalanced in housework and caring responsibilities etc in their favour.

Honestly I think men aren't as "picky" especially when they get older. Almost all the men I know in their 40s and older have settled down quickly with a new partner, even if they aren't particularly crazy about them.

My ex had found someone new within six weeks. I do agree that men are not picky,, and they just want someone to fill the vacant position.

@ShippingNews , I'm not sure about that, of course some will just want to fill the "vacant position", but a variety of successful, busy, single blokes, will be fairly relationship averse, particularly in their late 30's/early fourties. If I met someone, she'd have to be pretty special for me to want to wind my life around her, and for me to ask her to do the same given career, hobbies, and used to being alone.

Going by the responses here, there appears be a lot of not picky men being picked by very picky women.

That must be it.

That’s because men can’t cope with being single, so they’ll just grab the first woman who turns up.

I have no doubt my ex husband will find someone sooner than me. I have the children 100% of the time and he is able to spend every day doing his precious hobby. He has no commitments and pays minimum maintenance. He is also likely to find a woman years younger than him. Whilst I may only have a couple of hours per week to date someone, have zero time money or energy to invest in anyone else other than my children who will always come first and not likely to be a good catch to anyone in my age group

Good luck to whichever poor woman makes the mistake of getting together with my ex. I at least can say I am a good person with moral character, compassionate loyal trustworthy loving. He can't

I met dp fairly soon, 7 months after splitting from exh. We are now engaged (5 years on)

In my opinion yes my ex husband after 25 years of being together was already with someone else 6 week after breaking up. Broke up with his girlfriend and a 2 week later was already with someone else which lasted 5 month and 2 weeks later was with his current girlfriend.

I feel that men seem to need a relationship more than women, especially women who've just come out of a long-term relationship! I think a lot of women who've just broken up with someone might prefer a bit of time alone.
But many men really seem to need a relationship. Look at all the men who find love only months after their wives have died. I don't think they're callous, they just can't cope alone.

I agree with this. In last few years, I know several people who have sadly lost their partners prematurely. In all the cases, the men were in a new relationship within a few months. 1 in particular lost his wife suddenly after 30 years of marriage. He was in another relationship within 3 months and moved in together after 6.

In contrast I have two female friends who were widowed in their 40’s. One is still single 5 years on, the other is now in a relationship with someone she met through friends around 3 years after her husband passed.

I know it’s anecdotal but it does seem to compare to what others experience too.

Yep, last year my mums friend (a man of 75) lost his wife very suddenly, she just dropped dead of a heart attack. They'd been together for 60 years, since they were 15! We all wondered how on earth he'd cope without her. He was with someone within a few months!
And I know of many other similar cases.

I’d say in general men are looking for younger women and there are more of them. I’m in my 40’s and single men my age often have younger partners . My last boyfriend’s previous girlfriend was 27 - he was 50 🙄. From dating apps I’d say men who might consider dating someone as “old” as me are usually mid 50’s and look and act a lot older. But I’m not interested in younger men either lots of them seem to want kids or have young children and I’m not doing that again. So for now I’m staying single and might consider looking for a man when I move into a retirement home 🤣 My ex found a new partner within months of us splitting up and yes she is younger than me.

@Singlepringle1980 I agree. I tried putting a younger age on my dating profile and got a massively larger response....same profile, pictures, text but an older age and "you have run out of matches"...

I wouldn't say mid 30s is mid life !

My former stepdad is a disgusting man. The very definition of a cock lodger. Very nasty man who squandered my mums life savings. He's had three "partners" since they broke up 5 years ago and has lived with all of them.
My FIL was devastated when his relationship of 30 years broke down and 5 weeks later he was with someone else and living with them within 3 months.

It’s definitely a thing - especially of it’s men genuinely wanting relationships.
I think it’s because of a few factors:
… there are not so many men who are single in mid-life (however defined) - who are housebroken and want relationships, not just flings
… they have a wider potential dating pool as younger women - up to their age group is the target group
… if they have kids - they are mostly EOW sort of dads, and new partners are more accepting
… and yes - they are less picky in many ways

I think they're really just looking for somewhere to live and women their age have usually got that so they'll take any woman with accommodation available really.