Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner's 'thing' about heels

102 replies

Leanne185 · 19/12/2023 10:02

My partner seems to have an excessive interest in high heels and is desperate for me to wear them during our intimate moments as a turn on for him. Is this common amongst guys and should I just agree and embrace this or a flat out no-no ?

OP posts:
Olika · 19/12/2023 10:08

Do you want to wear them?

Stresa22 · 19/12/2023 10:13

I’ve had this before. It’s a visual thing I guess.

cerisepanther73 · 19/12/2023 10:17

@Leanne185

It's a normal thing a fetishism a kink for some men to like their partner to engage in,
along as you are with a caring loving attentive partner,

what are your thoughts on your partner feelings this way though?

along as you feel OK about it,

why not try it out next time you are both in the mood intimacy time,

make sure you tell him about your fantasises you like or curious about too.

cerisepanther73 · 19/12/2023 10:19

@Stresa22

i agree with post ...

WandaWonder · 19/12/2023 10:20

If your both fine with it nothing wrong, no chance on the planet they would they be anywhere near me

itsmyp4rty · 19/12/2023 10:24

It's not unusual IME. Whether you do it or not depends on whether you want to do it or not.

MyLadyTheKingsMother · 19/12/2023 10:27

Fairly harmless tbh. It could be so much worse

Rosiiee · 19/12/2023 10:30

DH has a thing for heels in the bedroom too. We have a ‘bedroom only’ pair- don’t want dirty shoes on the bed! It’s not an everyday request but he does ask me to wear them every few weeks or so. I don’t really get it but it’s no harm to me 🤷🏻‍♀️

Leanne185 · 19/12/2023 10:36

Thanks for your really helpful thoughts - doesn't make it feel so (slightly) weird now. I think I'm ok with seeing if me wearing my heels makes things more exciting for him and possibly better all round.

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 19/12/2023 10:37

If he’s so keen, he can wear them.

Leanne185 · 19/12/2023 10:38

Great to hear that his feelings aren't totally out there - not sure I'll be buying a 'special' pair though, we'll see how it goes.

OP posts:
Opentooffers · 19/12/2023 10:38

It's a known fetishism, I doubt it's that common, never come across it, but then a fetish wouldn't be such if it was common, because it would then be mainstream.
How you feel about it is up to you and how worthy he is if any compromise. He should supply the shoes in that case. Might be worth checking it stops at heels, you could find it's one of many he has, or the tip of the iceberg.

Newsenmum · 19/12/2023 10:38

Does it make you feel weird because 1) you are worried it means something else like he is attracted to other women in heels? 2) you don’t like wearing high heels 3) something else?

Id probably find it weird if dh had a suddenly new obsession with something. I also don’t like wearing heels so wouldn’t do it, but we’re probably very boring in the bedroom.

Newsenmum · 19/12/2023 10:39

I think find out why you find it weird
and then evaluate. If he was saying “ooh wear a fur coat” or “wear lipstick” or “have your hair down?” Would that be less weird? Or is it him having these preferences at all which feel weird?

Leanne185 · 19/12/2023 10:56

I maybe shouldn't have said 'weird', it's just not something I knew anything about and wondered if it was unusual. It's generally ok for me wearing heels as I often wear them in the office but I've just never thought there was anything more about shoes than style, confidence etc.

OP posts:
Pigeonqueen · 19/12/2023 11:04

Might be an absolute load of nonsense but I remember reading somewhere that high heels mimic the shape a woman’s foot makes when she has an orgasm and that’s why men often find them sexy. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ I can’t say I’ve ever thought about what my feet are up to but who knows. It totally up to you if you’re comfortable wearing them or not. Personally I wouldn’t want to, but then I’m a bit boring by many’s standards….!!

Topseyt123 · 19/12/2023 11:06

If you are OK with it then I guess it is fine. I don't suppose it is unusual but I absolutely wouldn't be OK with it.

I totally hate high heels and never wear them at all. It would be a flat no from me. I don't even own any as I simply can't walk in them. So uncomfortable.

Laffinalltheway · 19/12/2023 11:07

Blokes opinion here.

Although I'm not into heels per se, some guys like the look of stockings, suspenders, high heels etc. Perhaps the secretarial look...

Some like the heels dug into them during sex, kind of if you wrap your legs around him while in missionary and dig the heels into the backs of his legs. Some would like to go further, but only do what you're comfortable with.

bonzaitree · 19/12/2023 11:11

Very common for men to like heels. Seems fairly harmless to me personally. Up to you whether you’re comfortable with it.

LifeofBrienne · 19/12/2023 11:16

Love the MN promotions appearing on this thread - ‘foot warmers’, ‘best white trainers’ and ‘comfortable shoes’. Not sure any of those would quite match his fantasy!

Partner's 'thing' about heels
Begsthequestion · 19/12/2023 11:16

Do what you want.

If you didn't already know this is the right answer, and think that asking strangers on here is, then I question if you should really be having sex at all.

Noseyoldcow · 19/12/2023 11:16

My, oh my. There are lots of threads on here about sex toys, anal and goodness knows what else, and people on this thread are getting sniffy about what we used to call a "pair of fuck me heels". I say whatever turns you and your partner on. But I would observe that sharp stiletto heels and fine bed linen do not mix!

DGConsultant · 19/12/2023 11:20

On the whole, a fairly harmless bloke fetish. Blind bloke here, It's obviously a visual thing for your partner, literally a million more odd fetishes he could be into, so fairly tame, in reality. Only do It if you fancy It though, I'd not be strongarmed into anything you don't enjoy in the bedroom!

piscofrisco · 19/12/2023 11:23

Common.

ModestMoon · 19/12/2023 11:39

I wonder if it feels weird because it feels like you're being asked to wear a costume? I wouldn't specifically wear heels because I hate anything that approaches role play, so a bedroom pair or changing into them would be off limits. But I wouldn't mind that someone finds them attractive and if I had them on anyway would happily indulge a request to leave them on.