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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Locked out and took keys off me.

142 replies

MuddyPaws1993 · 16/12/2023 21:17

My husband has come home from football, drunk. When he’s drunk he’s really abusive.

This evening he has locked me out, taken all my house keys off me for our house and has told me I’m not allowed to come back. Our little girl who is 3 is in that house.

Is he lawfully allowed to lock me out, take my keys and tell me I’m not allowed to come back?

what leg do I have left to stand on?

OP posts:
Whiskeypowers · 16/12/2023 23:27

hope you’ve enlisted the help of the police and are with your daughter OP

mathanxiety · 16/12/2023 23:28

Are you in town house now? Did you call the police?

DragonMama3 · 16/12/2023 23:33

hope you're ok xx

AuntMarch · 16/12/2023 23:36

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 16/12/2023 22:50

It's clear from the OP that she wants to know if she has the legal right to enter the home first before potentially wasting police time, and has asked on the UK's biggest parenting website in the hope that someone can advise her.

It's flawed logic because the child safeguarding concern alone justifies a police call, but then if I was locked out of my home with a dependent child inside, I wouldn't necessarily be thinking logically either. Putting the boot in doesn't help her.

Hopefully, the OP has called the police by now and they've either locked "D"H up overnight or have helped her and DD to a safe place.

This comment also applies to @AuntMarch and all the others putting the boot in.

Edited
Show quote history

You can apply any comment you like. Asking for permission from strangers before you make moves to protect your own child is shocking.

DragonMama3 · 16/12/2023 23:36

op break a window to get in. She's the priority!

DragonMama3 · 16/12/2023 23:36

AuntMarch · 16/12/2023 23:36

You can apply any comment you like. Asking for permission from strangers before you make moves to protect your own child is shocking.

Show quote history

Get a grip - it shows how downtrodden she is.

DragonMama3 · 16/12/2023 23:37

It is common knowledge that the corners of double glazing are the weakest part of the window. Usually enforced for an emergency evacuation procedure, hitting a sharp object at the corner of a double-glazing window with a little force can weaken and break the window.

Viviennemary · 16/12/2023 23:40

I agree with calling the police. OP shouldn't pack her bags. He should be the one to leave. Hopefully the police will remove him if he is a threat.

HappyMavis · 16/12/2023 23:51

DragonMama3 · 16/12/2023 23:37

It is common knowledge that the corners of double glazing are the weakest part of the window. Usually enforced for an emergency evacuation procedure, hitting a sharp object at the corner of a double-glazing window with a little force can weaken and break the window.

That's astonishingly helpful.

DragonMama3 · 16/12/2023 23:52

If my daughter was in any danger I'd move heaven and earth to ensure her safety.

Coyoacan · 16/12/2023 23:53

Hope you've got in to her, OP

Howbizzare22 · 16/12/2023 23:55

Police and hurry the f up!!

determinedtomakethiswork · 16/12/2023 23:56

It's definitely a police matter. I hope you leave him now. Do you have somewhere to go tonight?

User87645632 · 16/12/2023 23:59

I hope youve managed to get help

DragonMama3 · 17/12/2023 00:04

anyone else slightly concerned by her lack of return?

User87645632 · 17/12/2023 00:06

Yes hopefully all is ok and op is caught up with police/the aftermath of having him removed

DragonMama3 · 17/12/2023 00:10

what if and I pray I'm wrong she's not ok?

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 17/12/2023 00:29

AuntMarch · 16/12/2023 23:36

You can apply any comment you like. Asking for permission from strangers before you make moves to protect your own child is shocking.

Show quote history

It was advice she was asking for, not permission.

I know how fear can cloud a person's judgment. I'm not going to judge her for wanting to know if she had a leg to stand on legally.

unvillage · 17/12/2023 00:30

Viviennemary · 16/12/2023 23:40

I agree with calling the police. OP shouldn't pack her bags. He should be the one to leave. Hopefully the police will remove him if he is a threat.

Unfortunately that's not always how it works.

Hope you're okay OP and have got yourself and your child away from him.

mintmagnum3 · 17/12/2023 00:31

Hope you and your daughter are ok OP. Can only imagine how awful this must be for you both ❤️

Wife2b · 17/12/2023 00:32

Do let us know how you are OP. Hopefully reunited with your daughter.

Jux · 17/12/2023 00:39

Good luck, OP. I hope you're safe with your lovely child. Neither of you deserve this, nor could you do anything to stop him doing it. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

But learn from it, now. Make it the last time. Make sure it's the lastt time he could ever have that sort of power you and your child. Get out, stay out. Never go back. Hw won't change, nomatter what promises he makes.

He doesn't love you. He doesn't love your child.

Get help. Call cops.

SeparatedAndFree · 17/12/2023 00:43

Phone the police!!!

If he is abusive when drunk why are you still with him? No judgement my ex was the same. They don't change, they just get worse! I understand it's not easy but look after yourself and your child.

caringcarer · 17/12/2023 00:59

OP please come back and tell us you and your little one are both safe and away from the drunk.

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/12/2023 01:01

Your dd needs to be protected from this man. I hope all is well.