Unemployed Dh now signed off for a year- fed up and skint!

[Stressedgiraffe]

Dh has been unemployed for over 9 months. He's been applying for remote work but not getting any where. I think he's now given up as he has diabetes and side effects .
He was on jsa but has now had a meeting with the disability person who has signed him off as unfit to work.
But he's capable of working. He spends all his time on the computer. He walks the dogs for miles, potters in the garden etc.
He's late 50s so I think he's subtly retiring
But we can't afford it.
I work ft and can just afford rent bills and food. There is no spare money. We have spent our savings.
We have teenagers who want to go out with friends and spend money.
I'm starting to feel really resentful of someone I see 24/7 who now has a cushy life.
How do I stop feeling like this?

I fail to see how he would be able to claim PIP without massively overstretching the truth. He is able to walk miles with the dog and potter about the house, I presume he's able to make himself a cup of tea and a piece of toast - so he would be able to feed himself without being 'reminded'
Peripheral neuropathy is no joke - I had it while on chemo and ended up on long term medication which I weaned myself off as eventually no matter how much you take - it can be ineffective. I still get it now but it's manageable with paracetamol. But if the PN is that painful how is he able to walk miles when I had it I was walking on the sides of my feet and on occasion hands and knees when it was at its worst! I struggled to walk around the house never mind the garden! I have had a severe hearing disability which is helped with hearing aids since birth and because I can and do everything for myself - I don't qualify for PIP as I don't get enough points even though I have to rely on my husband if the smoke alarm went off at night and struggle in group conversations. I was still able to work for 40 years - it sounds like your DH is stringing you along.

@Stressedgiraffe massive squishes.

I know plenty of people like him that are self employed and do either bits and bobs - or an actual semi reliable income by doing tech and IT support from home for other small companies (generally without there own specialised in-house support - one man bands etc) and charities.

I did it part time to fit around my immune system issues and caring for my children. I charged £30ph or fixed rate for a set project or service to begin with. Ended at £45ph once established. Stuff like setting up business gmail accounts with domains I’d charge £180 for.

if you or he want some inspiration or ideas please do poke me.

Agree.

Cashing in the pension meant for old-age security would be the 100 percent dealbreaker for me.

50 year old bloke with diabetes and neuropathy? Employers won’t touch him with a barge pole. It’s hard enough to get any kind of job in your 50s and throw in some health problems and you’ve got basically no chance. Ageism and ableism is rife amongst employers.

We applied for the elderly equivalent for my mum, my dad is her carer, she needs prompting to eat, sleep, go to toilet, gets confused and disorientated and cant shop, plan, function mentally and she was denied it. Care needs werent high enough apparently.

Attendance Allowance is not the equivalent of PIP. I’m not disputing that AA is very hard to claim, but PIP claimants are held to a different standard because they are of working age, so PIP eligibility criteria are entirely different, much more complicated and much harder to satisfy.

Of course she knows her husband, and what he can and can't do, better than the people who signed him off work. I can't believe anyone would think otherwise.

Sorry, but only a doctor can sign him off and they wouldn’t sign him off for a year as they would obviously expect him to get better with any treatment he is following.

I would say that he has told you that to reduce the pressure you are putting on him to find a job asap, more so now that he may not get JSA.

Obviously, lying is really bad enough and a deal breaker, but he may have been trying his best and might have had all his confidence knock down with so many failed job applications.

Give him a week or two to rest, then, come January, read him the riot act and get him to make an appointment with the National Careers Service or, if it is still running, the Making the Difference team. They offer appointments over the phone and job centres and can make wonders to help him remember how skilled he is so he can get the confidence he needs back.

First thing that came to my mind
If he told some bollocks to the assessor and us clearly able to do more (eg goes for long walks everyday etc…), he is taking a big risk.

Then I’m curious to know what benefit he is now getting.
If it’s the ESA, it’s based in his contributions but he would have been able to show he is unable to work, even with adaptations. He would have needed letters from consultant/GP etc… to confirm his claims.
Ive done that a couple of years ago, it’s lengthy and not as easy as ‘he saw someone that confirm he can’t work’!!

If he has got the ESA, then it makes sense fir him to claim PIP. BUT just like the ESA, if he is telling crap just to get it, it might well come back to haunt him.

He won’t have been signed off for a year. If he’s passed the work capability assessment they will have awarded benefit for a year and then it will be reviewed. In the meantime, if he has been found fit for work related activity he will have to engage with the system and look for work, attend interviews and see a work coach. It’s not a question of ‘see you in a year’ - there will be sanctions if he doesn’t comply.

I have severe neuropathy from spinal problems. I still work full time in the NHS. I spent today doing home visits all over the county. Does he have foot ulcers or unstable blood sugars? There must be something else surely.

But that’s fir UC.
If the OP is working, I doubt they will qualify for that.
So that means, he has applied for the ESA.
If, as the OP said,

He said he's been signed off as unfit to work and they'll reassess in a year.

Then, he is in the first stage if the process and has NOT been assessed yet. There is no reassessment after 1 year for the ESA. But the assessment has to be done within a year.

I can’t believe anyone would think that walking a dog, sitting in front of a computer or pottering in a garden means that a person is definitely well enough to work.

What seems like leisure, is often the absolute most a person can do physically to try and fight their declining health. The using a computer is often a distraction tool to cope with chronic pain- which is a feature of his condition.

The OP’s list of things he can do is not a proof of capability to work.

So, no she doesn’t know better than the professionals that signed him off, because her posts, and many others, are full of ableist misconceptions regarding invisible disabilities.

Claiming PIP has absolutely nothing to do with claiming ESA - PIP is not an out of work benefit and ESA is. ESA test is the work capability assessment, which looks at your ability to work. PIP assesses your mobility and how you manage your condition in daily living, looking at aspects of personal care etc. Just because you qualify for one, doesn’t mean you will for the other. A few posters seem to think they’re linked. They’re not.

Yep.
Also, he is "late 50s"

We get £100 from UC a month. He was on income based jsa. Should he be applying for esa?

This. Talk to him about how it makes you feel. I'd have no respect for him either if he was scrounging a benefit when he didn't need it. Also he can do all of the house work etc if he's not working and you are. Have a think about what you need out of this relationship and how it might work going forward.

PIP mobility isn’t just ability to walk reliably, repeatedly and without pain it is also the ability to plan a journey and then follow that plan. He could get points for walking, but with pain or walking but not reliably and repeatedly. He could get points for being unable to go on a journey alone due to tremors/pain/brain fog/risk of falls.

He won’t be eligible for enhanced mobility, but he may score enough points for standard mobility.

How do you cope with the pain?

I find that's the worst of it - I used to teach and oh my god the PAIN after I'd been on my feet for an hour.

If you do have any hacks I'd love to hear them!

He must be quite unwell to have been found unfit for work. I work in welfare rights, and I've won a fair few appeals where people have been found fit for work when they plainly aren't. The number of times a client has been found unfit when I thought they shouldn't is precisely 1 in 16 years!

@LakieLady that is my experience too. They almost never find the fit to be unfit but quite often wrongly determine the unfit to be fit.

Thank you for explaining to me the two benefits I currently receive. Greatly appreciated.

And no those two benefits are not linked, ON PAPER.

However, if you’ve filled those recently, you’ll know that many criteria’s are the same in both And that they cross over. You’ll also know that receiving the ESA when applying to PIP can be one of your ‘proof’ you can’t do xyz.

Most people who qualify for ESA will qualify fir PIP (but yes you can qualify for PIP and not qualify for the ESA)

But DWP is still following the orders of its Ministers and putting those orders in the form of targets into the contracts for assessments, or doing it themselves if in Scotland where contractors are not used to do assessments.

OP you dont sound like you do know him very well, or at least his actual illnesses

How does the neuropathy manifest itself, how much time is he unable to be mobile, what benefits is he actually on, what does his sick note say?

This man has neuropathy in both feet - at times he will not be able to move either foot. Plus he has tremors - where the muscles contract uncontrollably.

And yet he can still walk the dog for miles ? If he has the symptoms of neuropathy you describe above, then surely he wouldn't blithely wander off for miles with a dog, incase he suddenly became incapable of managing to get back home ?

Why haven't you passed on the housework and mental load to him OP ? If he can spend hours on the computer and walking the dog, he is more than capable of giving the bathroom a clean ? Mine isn't, not because his disability prevents it, but purely because he has never ever had to do it and he really doesn't want to !

Well I don't know what sort of relationship you have but the idea that a GP would know more about what I could physically do, day to day, than my own husband is laughable.