Page 8 | Unemployed Dh now signed off for a year- fed up and skint!

Stressedgiraffe · 2023-12-14T19:16:58+00:00

Dh has been unemployed for over 9 months. He's been applying for remote work but not getting any where. I think he's now given up as he has diabetes and side effects . He was on jsa but has now had a meeting with the disability person who has signed him off as unfit to work. But he's capable of working. He spends all his time on the computer. He walks the dogs for miles, potters in the garden etc. He's late 50s so I think he's subtly retiring But we can't afford it. I work ft and can just afford rent bills and food. There is no spare money. We have spent our savings. We have teenagers who want to go out with friends and spend money. I'm starting to feel really resentful of someone I see 24/7 who now has a cushy life. How do I stop feeling like this?

TheGhostOfTheOpera · 14/12/2023 22:07

Stressedgiraffe · 14/12/2023 21:58

We get £100 from UC a month. He was on income based jsa. Should he be applying for esa?

To apply fir the ESA, if that’s not what he has applied to, he’ll need to have full NI contributions for the last 2 years to qualify.

If he was getting it, the amount he is receiving from the ESA would be deduced from any money he is receiving from UC.
Biggest difference between the ESA and UC is that the ESA doesn’t have any limits on how much savings you have.

MercanDede · 14/12/2023 22:10

And it seems he has gone on sick pay by laying it on. An actual insult to people with genuine illnesses and disabilities.

You can’t fake diabetic neuropathy. It’s not a go into the GP and whinge about made up nerve pain. There are tests done that cannot be faked.

Your health care provider can usually diagnose diabetic neuropathy by performing a physical exam and carefully reviewing your symptoms and medical history.
Your health care provider typically checks your:

Overall muscle strength and tone
Tendon reflexes
Sensitivity to touch, pain, temperature and vibration

Along with the physical exam, your health care provider may perform or order specific tests to help diagnose diabetic neuropathy, such as:

Filament testing. A soft nylon fiber (monofilament) is brushed over areas of your skin to test your sensitivity to touch.
Sensory testing. This noninvasive test is used to tell how your nerves respond to vibration and changes in temperature.
Nerve conduction testing. This test measures how quickly the nerves in your arms and legs conduct electrical signals.
Electromyography. Called needle testing, this test is often done along with nerve conduction studies. It measures electrical discharges produced in your muscles.
Autonomic testing. Special tests may be done to determine how your blood pressure changes while you are in different positions, and whether your sweating is within the standard range.

Rosscameasdoody · 14/12/2023 22:12

TheGhostOfTheOpera · 14/12/2023 21:56

But that’s fir UC.
If the OP is working, I doubt they will qualify for that.
So that means, he has applied for the ESA.
If, as the OP said,

He said he's been signed off as unfit to work and they'll reassess in a year.

Then, he is in the first stage if the process and has NOT been assessed yet. There is no reassessment after 1 year for the ESA. But the assessment has to be done within a year.

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It’s the same for new style ESA which is contribution based and not affected by other household income. The first stage of the process would put him on the assessment rate until he has undergone the work capability assessment. If he passes the WCA, he will be advised as to how long the award is for - in this case one year. Reassessment can take place anywhere from 6 months to three years after award of benefit and can happen multiple times during the life of the claim.

TheGhostOfTheOpera · 14/12/2023 22:13

@Stressedgiraffe fwiw, it might be that you dint actually know your DH illness that well. My dh doesnt and he wfh so sees me all day long.

eg yes he can walk the dog but how long, how easily is variable from one day to the next.
He might only be be ‘pain free’ for about an hour during the day (during which he walks said dog).
He spends time on the computer but struggles to concentrate.
(that’s me too btw. I’m spending a huge amount of time on my tablet but anything slightly complicated or requiring attention and I don’t last more than 20 mins)

I have to say, he seems to be at the start if the process rather than in a place where he ‘knows’ he has been assessed as ‘unfit fur work’.
Id encourage you to sit down with him and fill the paperwork. You might be surprised by the difficulties he has but has never mentioned to you (because let’s be honest that’s hard). Or by what the various consultants have said about his illness.

StarBrightly · 14/12/2023 22:14

FancyBottom · 14/12/2023 19:29

It's very unusual for DWP to give someone a year off lightly so something is fishy here.
If you don't think he is genuinely, shop him but I would try and persuade him to work or you need to take a second job if he is genuinely unable to work.
DWP are bloody hard work to get assessed as unfit to work you have to jump through hoops, unlike what the Sun and DailyFail would have you believe..and if he is genuinely suffering, why begrudge walking miles for his health? If your health is inconsistent or can have varying energy a lot of employers want something consistent and so it is genuine to find it difficult to find suitable work.
JobCentre just doesn't excuse you from work willy nilly, this is a myth.
So I think he must be genuinely unwell and therefore, you need to work more or cut your cloth accordingly, after all in sickness and in health.

I saw it all the time in my job, they blame mental health and every other conceivable thing they can think of that you can’t disprove.
To be signed off by job centre, they only have to convince their work coach, and they can be very convincing

StarBrightly · 14/12/2023 22:15

Oh and in sickness and in health only seems to work for women putting up with men, if you were ill, he’d be off with a new woman

Rosscameasdoody · 14/12/2023 22:15

MeMySonAnd1 · 14/12/2023 21:51

Sorry, but only a doctor can sign him off and they wouldn’t sign him off for a year as they would obviously expect him to get better with any treatment he is following.

I would say that he has told you that to reduce the pressure you are putting on him to find a job asap, more so now that he may not get JSA.

Obviously, lying is really bad enough and a deal breaker, but he may have been trying his best and might have had all his confidence knock down with so many failed job applications.

Give him a week or two to rest, then, come January, read him the riot act and get him to make an appointment with the National Careers Service or, if it is still running, the Making the Difference team. They offer appointments over the phone and job centres and can make wonders to help him remember how skilled he is so he can get the confidence he needs back.

Edited

I don’t think we’re talking about a doctor signing him off. It sounds like he’s had a work capability assessment and DWP have decided to award him benefit for one year before he’s reassessed. Totally different from signing him off on a fit note.

TheGhostOfTheOpera · 14/12/2023 22:16

Rosscameasdoody · 14/12/2023 22:12

It’s the same for new style ESA which is contribution based and not affected by other household income. The first stage of the process would put him on the assessment rate until he has undergone the work capability assessment. If he passes the WCA, he will be advised as to how long the award is for - in this case one year. Reassessment can take place anywhere from 6 months to three years after award of benefit and can happen multiple times during the life of the claim.

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I’m on contribution based ESA.
im not aware if anyone actually having gone through a review (NOT a reassessment) after many years, let alone 1

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 14/12/2023 22:17

Shocking how many work-shy chancers there are.
Gives genuinely ill people a bad name.

Of course it's possible to have a medical condition, manage it and be able to work.

A lot prefer to call it quits the minute they get a diagnosis or are not able to get what they want at work.

MercanDede · 14/12/2023 22:18

Unwisebutnotillegal · 14/12/2023 21:24

Could you suggest doing food delivery driving? I know it’s poorly paid but you can switch the app on while you feel well and switch it off when you don’t. Our friend who has rheumatoid arthritis does this and manages to get by.

Depends if his doctors have told DVLA that he can safely drive.
https://www.gov.uk/peripheral-neuropathy-and-driving
https://www.gov.uk/diabetes-driving

He may be too disabled to drive.

Peripheral neuropathy and driving

You must tell DVLA if you have peripheral neuropathy - download the correct form to let them know

https://www.gov.uk/peripheral-neuropathy-and-driving

porridgeisbae · 14/12/2023 22:19

Which he's unlikely to get if his only disability is diabetes

OP says he has side effects of medication I think. PIP considers those, too.

Rosscameasdoody · 14/12/2023 22:20

StarBrightly · 14/12/2023 22:14

I saw it all the time in my job, they blame mental health and every other conceivable thing they can think of that you can’t disprove.
To be signed off by job centre, they only have to convince their work coach, and they can be very convincing

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No, they don’t only have to convince a work coach. To claim ESA (sickness benefit) claimants have to pass the work capability assessment, which is an assessment of their ability to work carried out by a DWP appointed assessor. It’s a difficult and often humiliating assessment which, by design, is very difficult to pass.They also have to provide medical evidence to support their claim. The idea that obtaining benefit is as simple as you suggest is just absurd.

porridgeisbae · 14/12/2023 22:20

Of course it's possible to have a medical condition, manage it and be able to work.

Some people can, some can't. I have bipolar and I have to really watch my stress levels- work would probably land me in hospital.

MercanDede · 14/12/2023 22:22

I know people on PIP who sit in wetherspoons all day
Yea, because it’s a warm bank. Disabled people are most likely to be living in poverty and unable to heat their homes. So many are going to warm banks so they don’t die of hypothermia.

Gettingbysomehow · 14/12/2023 22:25

Octavia64 · 14/12/2023 22:02

How do you cope with the pain?

I find that's the worst of it - I used to teach and oh my god the PAIN after I'd been on my feet for an hour.

If you do have any hacks I'd love to hear them!

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Sadly I don't. I cant work on the medication as it just makes me fall asleep and in my job I have to know what I'm doing and be alert so I take medication when I go home and go to bed very early. I dont really have a choice. I have to work as my husband left me as soon as I got sick. I'm 62 now and need to work to 67 to get my full pension and pay my mortgage off.
I've got a high pain threshold and meditate.
There are occasions when I go home and cry but I try not to be negative most of the time because it makes things worse.

MercanDede · 14/12/2023 22:27

Sorry, but only a doctor can sign him off and they wouldn’t sign him off for a year as they would obviously expect him to get better with any treatment he is following.

Depends on the wait list for treatment and whether available treatments would be judged to be a good fit with a possibility of improving his condition. People are waiting 5 years for knee surgery to get them back to walking. A nurse recently used her life savings to go privately because otherwise she’d have lost her career because she couldn’t wait the 5 years.

Mirabai · 14/12/2023 22:30

Rosscameasdoody · 14/12/2023 22:20

No, they don’t only have to convince a work coach. To claim ESA (sickness benefit) claimants have to pass the work capability assessment, which is an assessment of their ability to work carried out by a DWP appointed assessor. It’s a difficult and often humiliating assessment which, by design, is very difficult to pass.They also have to provide medical evidence to support their claim. The idea that obtaining benefit is as simple as you suggest is just absurd.

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This.

To echo others no-one at JSA can sign him off anything.

He must have completed the capacity for work questionnaire ESA/UB50 and done an assessment. Once he’s been assessed as not fit for work they will review the decision.

If he’s spending so much time at the pc he might as well be paid for those hours.

That said - diabetic neuropathy is awful and indicates his disease is quite advanced. And firms are not falling over themselves to employ people with health issues. Does he manage his blood sugar/diet ok?

MercanDede · 14/12/2023 22:31

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 14/12/2023 21:53

He won’t have been signed off for a year. If he’s passed the work capability assessment they will have awarded benefit for a year and then it will be reviewed. In the meantime, if he has been found fit for work related activity he will have to engage with the system and look for work, attend interviews and see a work coach. It’s not a question of ‘see you in a year’ - there will be sanctions if he doesn’t comply.

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It’s his first time claiming his entire life, so I don’t expect him or OP to be relaying the signed off for a year accurately. Lots of people don’t know that a PIP award for 4 years is really for only 3 years. You learn the ins and outs when you have been navigating it for years as a patient or if you work in welfare benefits. People who have worked all their lives and find themselves long term unemployed and struggling with life limiting illness/disabilities are often confused, overwhelmed and get the details wrong.

Rosscameasdoody · 14/12/2023 22:31

TheGhostOfTheOpera · 14/12/2023 22:16

I’m on contribution based ESA.
im not aware if anyone actually having gone through a review (NOT a reassessment) after many years, let alone 1

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I was a benefits adviser for many years and I can tell you that you are incorrect. DWP award ESA for at least six months up to a maximum of three years and then they review. The only exceptions are those in the limited capacity for work related activity group if their medical evidence suggests that their condition will never change. DWP can carry out a review over the phone, but in most cases they will send you an ESA2 review form to complete. In some cases you may not even know if your claim has been reviewed - if you are in the LCWRA group, DWP will sometimes just write to the healthcare professionals named on your original application and if they are satisfied you still qualify they will renew the award. This is called a light touch review.

porridgeisbae · 14/12/2023 22:31

If he has neuropathy then that's serious and can impair someone for sure.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 14/12/2023 22:32

PermanentTemporary · 14/12/2023 19:37

You're not wrong to feel what you feel, but it sounds like you are living with a stranger. You're guessing what he's doing, you don't seem to have joint plans.

When did you last sit down (or better yet, walk) together and just talk? Not so you can find out or pressure him about going back to work, just talk. Tell him how fed up you are, but not to make him do anything. Share it.

I'd actually focus on the teenagers getting work. Maybe he could come up with some ideas there? Does he get on with them? Do they walk with him? Do you speak about him with respect to them? It's not a bad thing to have a dad who's around more for teenagers.

Why should children work to pick up an adult's slack?

If he's genuine, he can claim PIP. If not§, he can get the job applications in like everyone else.

§ I don't usually cast doubt like this because disabled people have enough antipathy to deal with, but he's shown the OP no paperwork and was called by "an assessor" on a Sunday, which is definitely not DWP office hours. When I was claiming ESA, I had loads of letters and forms to deal with.

Mirabai · 14/12/2023 22:33

Sorry, but only a doctor can sign him off and they wouldn’t sign him off for a year as they would obviously expect him to get better with any treatment he is following.

Doctors can’t sign people off, that’s long gone. You can supply evidence from your doctors but the decision on capacity to work is made by a DWP assessor - (or rather the company they employ to provide assessments.)

JayJayEl · 14/12/2023 22:34

Stressedgiraffe · 14/12/2023 20:10

I do know he's ill. I am sympathetic I don't ask him to do any housework or mental load. He walks the dogs twice a day and that's it. He can tinker with his computers, nap, watch TV etc but he did all that while wfh as well nothing has changed .

Apologies if this has already been said - if he's well enough to walk the dogs, spend time and energy pottering about, etc. then he is absolutely well enough to at least contribute to household chores!

Tiredalwaystired · 14/12/2023 22:35

My sister has neuropathy. She can do everything - until she can’t. She could walk a dog - for a bit. She could do gardening - for a bit. She could work on a computer - for a bit. No one will employ her “for a bit”.

What this suggests to me is that you don’t really understand his condition and the pain and discomfort it brings as it is entirely invisible. You look fine from the outside. It breaks my heart that people battling this are being described as chancers and lazy. You try it.

Kona84 · 14/12/2023 22:36

If he is getting universal credit with no work commitments due to health, he should het a top up on that payment.
your wages will reduce the amount he gets.

he clearly has to give up the hobbies if they cost money.
can he set up as a dog walker if he enjoys doing that?