Is this a red flag? Or am I just looking for red flags everywhere?

It's not possible to tell if it's a red flag, but he sounds like a potential pita.

I agree with him though - you should have just cancelled and moved on when you saw it. Next!

Someone slagging off their ex wife from the very start = a big red flag. I'd swerve this one OP

I would probably not bother meeting him, I'm not keen on some of the things he's written/said to you.

Just move on.

You have to be ruthless.

He's already messed with your head enough to make you start a thread. Next!

Yes that is a clear 🚩

The Hinge status wouldn’t bother me as I’ve always had ‘don’t know yet’ on my dating profile. However when they put stuff like needy not apply or no drama - that’s a red flag to me that they want a woman who won’t challenge their twatty behaviour.

If you’re already having doubts before you meet, then write this one off.

The thing is he didn't even deny the implications of it. It'd be one thing if he said 'oh I thought that for a while but now I know I'm after a relationship, ' but he didn't. How he's reacting seems immature and not very bright.

Try seeing things that make you ask 'Is this a red flag?' as a red flag. Your red flags are yours. They are things that make a person unsuitable for a relationship with you. A compatible partner for you won't do anything that you think might be a red flag, so if you're asking the question, it rules them out.

He doesn't know what he wants. He's still figuring it out. He is already giving mixed messages and blowing hot and cold.

I don't think there are red flags as such but he'll just muck you about whilst he gets his own act together.

Waste of your time and emotional energy.

@WitheringTights000 I wasn't keen on the 'needy need not apply' for a start, as if he is laying down the rules and is going to judge you from the start. Then all this business about he is so empathetic or whatever, I often find that when people compliment themselves it's rarely accurate. Then, changing his criteria when you mention it. I just don't think he sounds great, to be honest. But there are some good ones who go to online sites - as many people say, it is a numbers game. I wouldn't give up yet if I were you.

What is worth asking yourself is why you're wasting this time and energy here on this person?

Just move on as soon as you get the ick. @Watchkeys is right.

His comments about his ex being “obsessed with work” are the biggest red flag for me. This comes across as extremely controlling, he basically doesn’t want a woman to have ambitions outside of the relationship and would expect you to put him first all of the time.

This sort of bloke will call any behaviour he doesn't like from the woman he is dating "needy," and will feel perfectly happy to end it for this "reason," because after all "it's not like I didn't give fair warning in my profile."

So he doesn't want 'needy' but also he was moaning about his work obsessed ex? What does he want? I dunno I don't think not having stuff about what you're looking for is necessarily a red flag, plenty of people have something to lure more people in even if its not true anyway; but some of the other things you've said he mentoned sounds tedious.

His double messaging is just too much. I would move on.

OP, The kind of people that said/write one think and they after said/ write other different are far too much hard work.
Don't double read what he said/ wrote. He is one of those.

Just no. I think I read a couple of lines but just tell him NO. Or just ghost .Your choice.

I don't think he has been clear about his relationship goals in the past maybe, which has led to questions about what he's looking for, which he's then interpreted as 'needy'.

He's doing it now with the 'Oh did I really put that?'

Sounds like he might move the goal posts alot depending on how he feels at the time and if you don't fall in with it then you'll also be 'needy'.

I'm sure someone else could put it better than I have but that was my initial impression - I could be wrong tho.

Don't like his comments about his ex either.

If you want a proper relationship, never ever match with a man who is 'figuring out their dating goals'. WTF does that mean?! He's not 15.

If he really wanted a proper relationship, then he would have said that in the first place. Don't put up with these bullshitters

Next!