Slow fade after meeting my DC. So upset.

[Sameshitdifferentdayagain]

This is a bit of a pathetic post but I really need to get it all out.

Been seeing a man for six months (fellow single parent of young DC) I've basically been on my own for 3.5 years since ex husband upped and left.

All was going well and I was actually entertaining thoughts that I might miraculously met someone decent. He seemed really keen on me and it was so nice to not feel alone after the last awful few years.

I recently met his (utterly adorable) little DC twice. We then arranged a play date day for all DC together. It was such a lovely day and I felt so happy after. It was his suggestion to arrange it. Not mine.

Now despite all that he's doing a not very subtle slow fade on me. Too busy to get together (he is a wealthy guy and a hard working businessman, but nobody is that busy) I've not heard from him in a week either whereas before he was in touch all the time. I know I've been dropped and God it hurts :( I gave him a chance despite how guarded I normally am and now I just feel like a fool. It's knocking my MH and life is a struggle for me as it is. He's clearly enjoyed playing with the plebs before going back to his much better life.

Why do some men have to be so unkind? It just don't get how they can treat people like we're so disposable.

He actually said we were a good match because we don't want more children!

If he's a successful businessman and he's looking after his dc 70% of the time he's probably a fairly decent, busy person. I'm guessing he likes you but maybe despite offering to pay for all the drinks/meals, he wasn't expecting you to accept all of the time! Maybe he's wondering if you see him as a meal ticket. Nobody likes the thought that they are being dated for what they can provide rather than who they are. I'm not saying you are, but by your own admission you've stated you're poor and he's very rich. Are you much younger than him as you have young dc? If so I'm guessing he likes the younger woman aspect but seeing the poor, single struggling mother in real life and thinking you may see him as a way out is possibly a bit off-putting. Sorry if that sounds harsh but he probably has more options than you.
I think men can be real cowards about voicing these concerns though so maybe he's hoping he can fob you off and you'll lose interest.

I don’t know why everyone always feels the need to over analyse these situations - maybe he just decided he doesn’t like OP and that’s the end of it.
Maybe OP just wanted to vent, she certainly didn’t need to be accused of being a gold digger ffs.
It was very relevant why she mentioned the fact he has money, and it’s very clear that’s not what she’s interested in.

Just move on! NEXT!

@NewsOverload To be blunt if a man who is a millionaire objects to buying me lunch then he's a knob anyway.

I've said upthread that he won't LET me pay for anything.

I've spent most of my adulthood beinfg rinsed by broke arsed men. If a very well off man wants to buy my lunch then I'm going to take the offer ffs😅

Would it really be any easier if he gave you an explanation? For whatever reason he doesn't think it’s going to work. It’s nothing you can do anything about and it isn’t a reflection of you. Block, move on.

@lilyandrosa Us women love to over think but sometimes the simple explanation is the right one

Yep, digging away for my free baguette and coffee. Clearly not a very good gold digger🤣

The only sensible thing you can do is go no contact. It's hard but no contact means no contact.

When you are not contacting him, he will then start to wonder why you do not care and are not bothered. It will not suddenly get better if you reach out more.

It completely sucks and you do not deserve it. I am so sorry and hope you feel better soon.

Maybe it’s just very simple: he’s not that into you, and it has nothing to do with money or being a single mother, he’s decided he doesn’t want to get serious because he’s not in love. I would not contact him OP and just do your thing. If he wants to talk he knows how to reach you. If he gets in touch and wants to mingle I think it’s time to sit with him and have a serious “where is this going” conversation and see what he says. Unless of course you don’t care where this is going.

I'd consider myself dumped based on what you've shared here, OP.

A text telling you he's been busy is the clincher. If someone has time to text, they have time to call and say 'Sorry, rushed off my feet - missing you and really want to have a proper catch up asap ..... '

FWIW, I've dated wealthy men whilst not being wealthy myself. One immediately came to mind when I read your post. He was a bachelor (in his late 40s) and had a boredom threshold of six months in relationships. I exceeded the six-month mark much to everyone's surprise (his family/friends). Eventually I dumped him for various reasons, mostly his control issues. Interestingly, when I first started dating him a couple of his exes would call/text him incessantly. One even turned up on his doorstep whilst I was there.

A couple of weeks in, I asked him if the women knew they were exes. He admitted he hadn't 'formally' finished with them. 🙄 Don't be that ex.

Perhaps this man is similar. Wary of committing as there is a never-ending supply of women keen to date wealthy men?

I wouldn't delete him but I certainly wouldn't be expecting any further contact from him either.

Do you even like men OP?

Was the bereavement his OP?

Hi [bloke], I feel the need to do the decent thing and let you know I've met someone who I want to go exclusive with. Thanks for the other day with the DC, it was fun! Be well and happy @Sameshitdifferentdayagain

@Startrekkeruniverse Not as a rule no💀 Every man I've been with has let me down. My ex abandoned me and our DC. I am not mens greatest cheerleader.

I liked this one though. Which makes it worse as it's a rare thing for me.

@daisychain01 Yeah he'd see through that in a heartbeat🤣

I felt really sorry for you and thought god he’s been so horrible. But what stands out to me is you mention how wealthy he is in nearly every single post. It’s what you are responding to and what you’re focused on. It’s constant mentioning his wealth.

I am wondering if you maybe tried to hard to play mummy and blended family, and he was wondering why in a first meet up of them all together, and he has realised maybe his money is very important to uou, and it’s made him back off.

Unless I met this other man in the frozen aisle at Asda or the soft play🤣🤣

It's OK to feel the way you feel, OP. He's not wrong to want to break it off but he's very wrong just to leave you to figure out that that's what happened. It's unmanly, but a lot of men do it. I swear they're more scared of women than they are of fistfights.

Tbh OP I've always said I would never even try to date a very wealthy man simply because he would probably have his pick of the young, beautiful women who are after his money. I wouldn't be surprised if his head has been turned

That's what I thought until my youngest was born at 48.. however, on a serious note, I am so sorry he hurt you, what an arsehole. Not even messaging to say he's loved meeting you but thinks you me be better as friends. It's cowardice isn't it? You'll never know why he's gone cold, perhaps he still has strong ties with the ex and there's something going on there. But regardless, you're right to trust your instincts, we can just tell in our gut when someone isn't interested. I would wait until tomorrow, then i honestly think I would message to say something and then block him. Something like 'well, i can take a hint and it's clear you aren't interested in meeting up. Perhaps next time try honesty, you're a little too old for game playing don't you think? Have a nice life'. And then block. The tosser. Have a glass of wine and cuddle your kids. Be kind to yourself. But I promise you'll feel better if you end things properly your end. Xx

@Frasers Well you've clearly not read enough to see the several times I've stated it was HIM pushing to get the DC together. Nor the fact that I don't really mention his money to him or take him up on his offer to buy me things.

Total misogny to assume it was me pushing for cosy blended families when I'm actually very cautious. I'd have happily left off on our DC meeting for longer.

Whatever you do, don't contact him again. If he contacts you, then fine.

Otherwise just leave it

Yes men are shit

@OnlyFannys I asked him myself why he was interested in me when he could have his pick of gorgeous young women.

He said he's not interested in a trophy girlfriend. Says it would be depressing knowing they just want his money. He's not really the flashy playboy type.

Hmm - that occurred to me too. She could be the one calling the shots here, and either she or someone else may have made some remark about you being a gold-digging single mother looking for a meal ticket.

Huh? I never suggested it was you who pushed to get them together, and I saw full well you declined gifts. Have you quoted the wrong poster?