Slow fade after meeting my DC. So upset.

[Sameshitdifferentdayagain]

This is a bit of a pathetic post but I really need to get it all out.

Been seeing a man for six months (fellow single parent of young DC) I've basically been on my own for 3.5 years since ex husband upped and left.

All was going well and I was actually entertaining thoughts that I might miraculously met someone decent. He seemed really keen on me and it was so nice to not feel alone after the last awful few years.

I recently met his (utterly adorable) little DC twice. We then arranged a play date day for all DC together. It was such a lovely day and I felt so happy after. It was his suggestion to arrange it. Not mine.

Now despite all that he's doing a not very subtle slow fade on me. Too busy to get together (he is a wealthy guy and a hard working businessman, but nobody is that busy) I've not heard from him in a week either whereas before he was in touch all the time. I know I've been dropped and God it hurts :( I gave him a chance despite how guarded I normally am and now I just feel like a fool. It's knocking my MH and life is a struggle for me as it is. He's clearly enjoyed playing with the plebs before going back to his much better life.

Why do some men have to be so unkind? It just don't get how they can treat people like we're so disposable.

you could send a breezy text saying ‘making plans for Christmas hols, are you in? No worries if not, it’s been nice knowing you and I enjoyed the time we had. Good luck !’

I really wouldn't. Do you remember that scene in Friends when Monica tried to leave a "breezy" message on Richard's answerphone? The whole "it's fine if you don't want to talk to me" thing is also unwise, like you're desperately trying to get a response because you both know he's been a prick and yet you're still worried about being nice.

Men who are interested get in contact. He's been slimy about doing the fade but there isn't any doubt as to what he wants and OP may just have to resign herself to never knowing exactly why.

@Startrekkeruniverse Love the way people have decided I'm obsessed with his wealth.

Sorry but it is relevant. He's a millionaire (at the very least) I'm a poor single mum. The disparity is worth mentioning because it's clearly going to come into play between us.

I don't like him for his money. I like HIM. I'm genuinly upset right now and just wanted to let it out.

Ah I’m sorry that happened OP

I don’t think this is going to be to do with him looking down on you though - why do you think that?

I think he just realised that there is going to be a whole lot of added layers to your relationship with 2 sets of kids to blend, and also realised he wasn’t up for that.

He handled it badly and that’s really annoying. Let yourself be sad for w weekend and then move on.

Block and get back out there - there are more men out there and one is right for you.

How do you get two children, years apart in age, from a short fling?

@theduchessofspork I really don't want to get back out there. I wasn't out there to start with🤣 It's sheer chance that we met.

How the hell do you have two children with a two year age gap from a short fling?

And how come yours is a six month relationship serious enough to met each other’s children and for you to pontificate about the possibility of blended families and finances but the mother of his two children is entirely dismissed as nothing more then a ‘short fling’?

I’m going to be brutally honest here. You are coming across as slightly deluded, intense and grabby.

How can you have 2 DC of different ages from one short fling?!

Anyway, this does make him less appealing ..

Well I think you should reconsider, it sounds like you enjoyed having someone?

@SurprisedWithAHorse I didn't say the age of his children. I said the combined ages of our DC were between 3 and 6. His DC are twins. Only a short fling required to produce them💀

Ah, his kids are twins.

@theduchessofspork I enjoyed having him but he was a cut above your average man. I don't enjoy dating as a rule.

@blueshoes

sounds like he is very successful in his career so he was probably just focusing on that in his twenties and thirties as I’m sure a lot of women would if only they didn’t have a biological clock to contend with.

That still doesn’t undermine my point that many would consider your six month relationship as little more than a short fling. Or that his primary quality appears to be his ability to pay for you.

@LuckySantangelo35 No he was married for years. Behind every sucessful man is a woman doing the gruntwork.

He has 4 children and an ex wife and he's probably financially supporting the whole thing (I'm assuming), he may see you and the child as another financial burden if he gets serious with you, wealthy types are very very practical. Ultimately if he dumps you I hope he does it in a kind way and with lots of closure and if he doesn't, oh well... bullet dodged!

@Sameshitdifferentdayagain

when there are kids involved yes. No kids or before kids than probably not.

I've outlined several times the many qualities I like about him @choosehappy86

If i was a gold digger I'd have gone for a lot more than a few free meals🤣🤣 He offered me all sorts and I said no.

You stick to your narrative though if it makes you happy.

@LuckySantangelo35 He has grown up children.

You've been fed the narrative by him, he's shaping the facts that he wants you to have. He's said he has the DC 70% of the time and the mother likes it that way. How do you know that's really the situation. More like it's that awesome Dad of the Year, give him a medal.

It's such a negative skewed perspective on here to immediately leap to demonise the child's mother :

his child's mother that would have put a spanner in the works could mean she's concerned that the father is introducing numerous frequently changing partners into their DCs life too soon?

Is it possible his DC's mum has kicked off?

yup that pesky mother kicking off about who the father is introducing the DC to, how very dare she have any opinion.

this place is madder than a box of frogs

Hugs OP xxxxxxxxxx it sounds like a bummer whichever way you cut it

I may have missed thIs OP but how old are you? Is there an age gap?

Are you yourself much younger OP?

The slow fade is a miserable and cowardly way of dealing with the end of a relationship of any length. I would have thought at the six month mark most adults would have respect enough to send a text?
I agree with PP that it shows him off in a bad light, your best away from someone with this level of emotional maturity.

I wonder if he was worried that you might want more children? You’re very maternal and he may have imagined his future with you wanting another to blend your families and not wanted that.
Your age may well have something to do with it.

@SamW98 jinx

@daisychain01 I totally get where you're coming from.

I was extremely sceptical of his story. I've had to see quite a lot of evidence that he's telling the truth. I'm 99% sure it is true, although obviously i can never be totally sure.

I"m not the type to believe a man. I'm very distrusting. That's why i'm so annoyed with myself for thinking he mignt be different.

@Iwasdrunkandamenace I'm too old to have more DC. I'm mid forties.