Would you stop seeing him after this?

[Wouldthati]

Im 24 years old and I'm dating a man who I met on Hinge. He is really into hikes with his dog and climbs mountains every Sunday. Usually he goes up Snowdon but he will try out somewhere new each month, it's his hobby.

I'm not into anything like that, I'm not very outdoorsy and I did tell him this. I have never been up a mountain in my life. Whereas he has been doing this for about 25 years (he's 43).

We have been dating for two months and after a few dates he asked me if I'd want to go with him one Sunday but I said no, and that I really wouldn't enjoy it. However he aske me again a couple of weeks ago and I could tell he really wanted me to so I agreed because if it's important to him, I will give it a go. I was really scared and he assured me that we don't have to go to the top and we can stop whenever I've had enough.

We made a weekend of it and stayed over in Wales for a couple of nights and then went to Snowdon last Sunday. It was cold and wet and I wasn't enjoying myself. After a couple of hours I wanted to stop, I realised I'd make a mistake coming but was quite proud of myself for getting so far. I told him and he was very annoyed. He huffed and puffed and said to his dog "we'll come back next week when we can do this properly" I felt hurt because if he wanted to do it "properly" why did he invite me? He knew we weren't going to go to the top! I've never done this before, it's my first time and he's been doing it every week for years and years. He walked off in front of me down the mountain and I was quite scared and needed help to get down because the rocks were slippy because it was raining and I was scared I was going to slip. He didn't stop to help me once, just powered on in front. Every time I stopped to ask for help he shouted "just jump"

We drove home in silence. When he dropped me off, before I got out of the car he said "well, you've been disappointing" I was shocked and didn't know what to say. I just said right well I don't know what you expected when I told you it wasn't my thing, but I tried. I said I don't know when I'll next see you and he said "you'll text me in a couple of days no doubt"

I went home with tears in my eyes and I haven't messaged him since. I feel like this has really put me off him, I feel really sad and hurt. Would I be unreasonable to stop seeing him due to this? Or does he have a point in being annoyed with me? What are other people's thoughts on this?

If there was ever an occasion for a thorough ghosting, this is it.

👻

I’d say he’s an absolute cunt, but he lacks the warmth and depth.

💯- this twat doesn’t deserve the respect of a text.

Someone very wise on here once said that it's a good idea to do something that mildly inconveniences your date fairly early in the relationship and see how the other person reacts. For instance ask to walk slowly because you have a sore ankle/knee/want to look in shop windows, or suggest a different restaurant to the one that he wants because you don't fancy his choice tonight. If your date reacts with irritation or tries to overrule you or ignores your preferences then at the very least proceed with caution in the relationship.

Think about your own family and friendship groups. When you're doing stuff together it might not be everyone's first preference, some might be enjoying it more than others but you all try to make sure that nobody's having a miserable time, because you care about each other. If you were out on a shopping trip with a friend and she sprained an ankle you would abandon the shopping trip and help her get home safely. You wouldn't continue the shopping while yelling at her to keep up and telling her she's spoiled the day.

He sounds like a bully and you can do much better.

If he reacted like that towards you this early on imagine how he'd react with anything else.

It's good he's shown his true colours now before you invested anymore time in him

He sounds like a total cunt who wants a malleable younger woman. Thank god you haven't wasted any more time on him. Block him to avoid the temptation to speak to him again.

He's awful for all the reasons people on this thread have already said. Well done for ending it.

If he contacts you again - tell him to take his Kendalls Mint Cake and eff orf.

Your Mum sounds clued up and nice to talk to. I don't think she'd be upset if you told her. She'd probably be pleased that you coped well with what must have been a truly horrible experience including the punishing silence in the car all the way home, and she'll be pleased that you've recognised that he's no good.

I would disagree strongly with this.

Lots of couples have different hobbies and interests.

They are however capable of compromise, consideration, decent manners, reasonable behaviour etc around them.

He is not.

Op shouldn't have to dismiss dating someone because she hadn't got the exact same hobbies. That's the case with most couples.

It's his character that's the problem.

he's a twat. it's perfectly possible to be a couple with totally different interests but not if the other person is a twat. bin!

He has an 8 year old son from a previous relationship. He's been single for about 5 years and just been "dating" since then, never had a proper relationship since.

I knew it would end I knew that we weren't going to be in a long term relationship. But I liked it for what it was until he acted like this

"well you've been disappointing"

Jeez OP, put him in the Bin!

He's allowed to enjoy his hobbies, as are you, but you don't have to enjoy each others! It's ok to have different interests but in your case I think you may just be too different!

Listen to your Mum next time!
In all seriousness, she's probably just going to be happy her DD is safe and no longer dating an unpleasant man.

I hate when people make passive aggressive comments to the dog/cat/baby. So pathetic.

I bet you there's more to this story. Prob doesn't see the son often- blames his wicked ex etc

At any rate you are well rid. You sound lovely, in your prime- you don't have to date anyone who makes you feel like this and certainly not any middle aged codger stuck in his ways ( and I'm middle aged). Listen to your mum a bit more- we've been there, done that, seen it!

"you'll text me in a couple of days no doubt"

This is all about control, as is the walking ahead and not helping you. This guy is waaaay older than you and often older men go for a much younger woman because they feel more able to manipulate them. My spidey sense here is that this is the case.

walk away and dont look back. There are much better men, more suited to you, out there. You dont need or deserve to accept treatment like this.

Firstly, you should not be dating a man who is nearly 20 years older than you in my opinion, and secondly, this particular man sounds like an absolute arse so I'd let this one go.

No wonder his relationship with the Mum broke down.

And they weren't even married (?)
If he wouldn't even marry the mother of his child (unless she didn't want to, which is unusual), wouldn't hold out much hope for him marrying happily the next time around.

Also you'd be sharing his resources with his child from a previous relationship; child maintenance doesn't touch the sides of what is needed to pay for child up to 18/21 and even after that age there are many major expenses if a parent wants to support their young adult child.

You don't have that sharing thing when you have kids with a man who has none from a previous relationship. Everything goes your kids together.

And you don't have to be some sort of a step mum to a child who usually doesn't give a fuck and would rather not have to deal with you. Step parenting and blended families can be really difficult.

You don't need to settle for this at your age, not that anyone does.

I feel sorry for his child given his behaviour to you on that mountain and after. I really can't imagine him being a decent parent.

Quelle surprise!! what a shocker- this prince of a man has been single for so long 😂

Lovely, you're 24. What are you doing dating men in their 40s?

YANBU by the way, he's a prick

Absolutely this!

Why would you want to be with a bullying man who's almost double your age?

Darling please walk away from this excuse of a man.

Couples can have softeners hobbies and still enjoy a partnership together. M

Without going too deep, what's your parents marriage like? Maybe you need to look at why you are dating a man 20 years older than you who won't take no for an answer.

a bit 'girly'

What the actual fuck!!!! Didn't realise people still used this expression!

Jesus fucking Christ! I hope you are not a parent to daughters!!!

Does he have a YouTube channel documenting his hobby by any chance? And looking for an attractive younger woman to feature to increase his 'likes'. He isn't a good person OP.

"I knew it would end I knew that we weren't going to be in a long term relationship. But I liked it for what it was until he acted like this".

Op has said why.

I was similar in my 20s, I saw it as a life experience.

But when the man is like this (and mine was "problematic" too, understatement) it's not worth staying in for even a short time.

What you don't realise at this age, is that if a man that much older was well adjusted... He wouldn't be dating you.

Also OP please block him. He'll try to reel you back in.