I haven’t had sex for 10 years

[Liliesrus]

I’m 52
No dates
no kisses
no interest from anyone although to be fair, I don’t get out much
it’s weird isn’t it?
my husband died, but he was a liar and a cheat.

Probably quite common to be honest. Even those in very long term relationships / marriage may not be having sex for years. I have a few friends in the same situation as yourself

I hear you.
It's 14 years for me. I am 53.
My husband decided that I was not good enough. We are divorcing now, but I feel worthless and invisible.

I’m on the edge of divorce and we haven’t had sex for years, sometime before covid I’d say.

I don't even know if I could ever again.
I can't imagine any man wanting me.

Once in 6 yrs here. I'm 46.

I haven't had sex for 13 years and I'm 51. I tried the marriage thing twice and moth men were abusive. Any man after that had abusive traits. So I gave up. I don't miss it and would rather read/listen to a book.

You are here posting about it so clearly it’s something you think about at least occasionally. Do you actually miss it though? Hearing you describe your celibacy as weird makes me wonder if it’s more a case of feeling like you should be having sex rather than you want to?

17 years. It's not a competition, mind 😂

I'd probably have tried to "do something about it" if circumstances were different - but they aren't, so I haven't, and life is easier this way!

To Dan of 2006: my last-ever shag was rather disappointing, but at least you were a nice bloke 😏

25 years, and v v happy also - well apart from my ever failing health

I've had various droughts at different times of my life...I'm 56 and single.
Three droughts were all 7 plus years.
The last drought I had was nearly 8 years, and had included breast cancer, which tipped me into a chemically induced menopause.
I was curious/terrified in equal measure when I eventually broke my drought, I wondered if I'd even be able to have normal sex without pain or bleeding.
It was fine, although I suffered for it afterwards with a bout of cystitis!
I think it's quite common, even for couples, to have droughts at various times of life.

It’s about five years for me. It’s fine, I’m not interested. I’ve built a fab life post divorce. I’m so happy too. Couldn’t be bothered with any sort of complication in my life incl sex.

4 years for me and as someone who has always really enjoyed a healthy sex life I hate it, I miss sex and physical intimacy like crazy butI just can’t do casual sex and I’ve not met anyone in that time.

It’s the thing I miss most about having a partner tbh. I’d love to meet someone I felt a connection with but I’m beginning to wonder if there is anyone.

I’m ok with it, but do wonder if I’m missing out on something that could be great.
I’m quite independent, but I’m not particularly happy.

you are not alone. 7 Years for me and I’m 35!

@Liliesrus I wondered the same, but to be honest, now that I know everything's still working as it should, albeit a bit drier, I'm not in any hurry to try it again, lol.
It was fine, enjoyable even, but...I'm just not that bothered anymore!

8 years for me.

Once in four years for me and I’m married! The once was a very drunken shag which was pretty shit.

Less than 10 x in 12 years now.

I don’t miss it now but have had times when I have and have even thought about an affair at times.

I'm the same 😑. I'm late 30's it's been about 10 years since I had the best sex ever , was married for 13 years and every day we had a very healthy sex life. I had a partner for a few years but it was infrequent and not the best. Now it's been a couple years and nothing. I feel its going to be like this forever 😔 also I just don't have the time or privacy at home!

12 years for me and I don't miss it. Happy to read a good book.

6-7 years, can’t imagine having to try and do it again. I honestly don’t think I’d know what to do, plus my knees wouldn’t thank me 🤣

I wish I could meet someone who didn’t want sex - but I also find men who describe themselves as asexual on dating sites are not necessarily what I want either. More someone who’s just not bothered anymore. Rather than someone who considers it part of their identity.

More common than people realise I think, whether by choice or not.

You all make me feel a wee bit better (not much!). Married eleven years. Last time was a couple of months ago and last two minutes(he came, I didn't, he said it was fantastic ,I burst into tears) before that 6 months and before that about 6 months and then, well you get the picture... usually he doesn't want to or initiates it or doesn't. We get on well generally. I was in a couple of abusive relationships before and have two older children and was on my own for while. I love him alot . I sometimes wonder if he is gay, he says he isn't . I wonder if it's me that I am just a tainted person? That this is it. Should be happy that he is a kind gentle man to me and not abusive ? Other times I just want to die. I'm 53 and made such a mess of my life.

1 night stand once in 10 year and it was awful.
(Never doing it again too much faff)
I dont like kissing or smooching hugging touchy feely i just dont like it.
I dont miss it and dont crave it ive been happy single for years.
No man is coming in my home or my space ever again.
No man No drama do what i want.
Just a wee look on MN makes me happy with my single sexless life.
Rather eat cake thats my turn on. 🍰

I went 12yrs, didn’t miss it. Then dated a colleague earlier this year and the sex was unreal. We are still in touch, the only reason I have kept in touch is because he’s so good in bed. Now I do miss it, but still rather be cuddling my dog half the time.

15 years of being single / no sex here. Single parent to kid with SEN meant no time to meet anyone, and for a long time I felt like I’d lost my mojo anyway through the sheer unrelenting drudgery of life. I’ve had quite a lot of emotional stuff to deal with last 5-7 years.

For a long time it felt weird to be ‘the only person not having sex’. I know I wasn’t the only person but it felt like that. Then I got to the point - probably when I hit mid 40s where I genuinely didn’t care. And then all of a sudden my sex drive seemed to come back. But there was no one on my radar to do anything about that with.

I’m 50 and currently getting to know a work colleague and all the signs are pointing towards it (hopefully) moving in the direction of a romantic relationship. I’m equal measures terrified and excited by this prospect. I always used to enjoy sex, but I worry I’ve forgotten what to do as it’s been that long!