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Original poster

sex when adult DS is awake in next room

53 replies

awkward82 · 26/10/2023 14:34

My DH thinks I'm being unreasonable as I can't relax to get in the mood when I know DS is in his bedroom which is joined to ours. Our son is an adult so would know instantly what any noises were and the thought of that just horrifies me.

our son also does not have the best track record at just walking into to our room without knocking.

would you be able to relax?

OP posts:
cocksstrideintheevening · 26/10/2023 15:45

He needs to stop barging into your room.

But no I wouldn't want to have sex if he was awake in the room next door, no one wants to hear their parents shagging.

category12 · 26/10/2023 15:55

Surely you can stick a door-hook on if not a lock?

Anyhow, your son would rapidly learn to knock if he did walk in. Not that anyone would want that.

Put on music?

You're not unreasonable to be really off-put, but it seems like it's something to try and get round (if you actually want sex with your dh).

What about quickies in the living room, if he's upstairs and that room is lockable?

Can you rethink the way your rooms are configured? Maybe move furniture, add soundproofing? Is your bed squeaky- could you replace it?

OhmygodDont · 26/10/2023 15:55

Rule one would be walk into my room when my doors closed and you’re going to see whatever you see. I sleep naked so it doesn’t even have to be sex.

Rule two his an adult he can put some headphones on.

Practical. Have the beds on the wall that doesn’t touch, the wall you do have the units/wardrobes/tv both sides. Don’t scream 😅

Original poster
awkward82 · 26/10/2023 16:02

The bed isn't squeaky, I'm quiet, there is already a wardrobe on the adjoining wall and headboards as far away as they can be, I just can't relax knowing he could walk in.

A lock is the only way to go, I'll have to look for different kinds of locks.

OP posts:
category12 · 26/10/2023 16:10

Put a sock on the outer door handle.

OhmygodDont · 26/10/2023 16:10

You could get one of those door stops just shove it in when you go to bed every night regardless that way it’s just routine so it’s not a pre sex thing either.

Ifyoulikealotofchocolateonyourbiscuit · 26/10/2023 16:19

He really should knock. What if you’re getting changed too?

Marblessolveeverything · 26/10/2023 16:22

Use a wedge shaped door stop inside the door. Put on the radio/tv and crack on. And have a word with him about barging into rooms - my 9 year old doesn't even do that.

Watchkeys · 26/10/2023 16:23

My DH thinks I'm being unreasonable as I can't relax

I think he's unreasonable, to expect you to disrespect your feelings so that he can put his penis inside you. Has he considered having a word with your son, so that the two of you can get more space, or is it just you he finds fault with?

Cumberbiatch · 26/10/2023 16:29

skyfalldown · 26/10/2023 15:40

When I was a teen I'd hear my parents having sex occasionally. I'd pop my headphones or earplugs in and tune it out. Hardly traumatising, people have been having sex in 1 room houses and shared family beds for millennia.

This. I can't believe that a pp called it traumatising... Your parents having a healthy relationship is traumatising now?!

WaitTheNoo · 26/10/2023 16:40

skyfalldown · 26/10/2023 15:40

When I was a teen I'd hear my parents having sex occasionally. I'd pop my headphones or earplugs in and tune it out. Hardly traumatising, people have been having sex in 1 room houses and shared family beds for millennia.

Exactly my thoughts tbh. I get it's not ideal but traumatic to the point they're affected during adulthood when they are already grown teens / adults? Get a massive grip. 😑

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 26/10/2023 16:47

He should know better than to walk in. How have you never nipped that in the bud??
YANBU to feel self conscious but there are ways to make sex more or less silent. It's ridiculous that an adult man would walk into his mum's bedroom without knocking under any circumstances.

Janieforever · 26/10/2023 16:50

Get a wedge or something to wedge it shut.

the bigger question is why does he never go out, like literally he never goes out, no social life at all?

pinksunglasses · 26/10/2023 16:53

Do it in another room? Just tell your son you’re having a date night in the living room/wherever and that you’d appreciate some time alone!

ginasevern · 26/10/2023 16:58

@awkward82

Does your son never, ever go out? What about daytime?

Oganesson118 · 26/10/2023 17:04

WaitTheNoo · 26/10/2023 16:40

Exactly my thoughts tbh. I get it's not ideal but traumatic to the point they're affected during adulthood when they are already grown teens / adults? Get a massive grip. 😑

Show quote history

Glad it wasn't just me who thought that!!

AirFryerFrequentFlyer · 26/10/2023 17:11

gotomomo · 26/10/2023 15:07

Lick your door then crack on!

I think it's a different kind of crack that needs a lick here Grin

43ontherocksporfavor · 26/10/2023 17:18

Is he likely to come in when you’ve turned your lights out and closed your door? Honestly you’ll be celibate if you’re waiting for the right time You just have to avoid any noises and noisy bed positions. I have had two adult DDs at home, now just one. Most of the time she has her AirPods in anyway.

43ontherocksporfavor · 26/10/2023 17:19

Our garage got a fair bit of use during the teen years…..😳

Everydayiscake · 26/10/2023 17:35

Music on to block out the noise, a few weekends away and definitely a lock!

Bluetrews25 · 26/10/2023 17:52

Wedges that hold a door open will also hold it closed.
Have you a TV in your bedroom that you can have on as background noise?

MGX · 26/10/2023 17:57

I'm confused by most of these responses. Most adult dc will live with you for some period of time. These days more than ever! So are couples supposed to just not have sex until they leave? I didn't leave home until my late 20s! As much as I would hate to think of it, I'm pretty sure my parents didn't put sex on ice for a decade.

Don't get me wrong though, OP - your dh shouldn't be putting pressure on you, but if you can sort a lock and you can both be quiet and you want to have sex, then you should. Save the care free, noisy sex for when he's out.

Dogdaywoes · 26/10/2023 18:21

Honestly, this wouldn't bother me at all.

Several years ago DH (the BF) and I went out to the cinema. The cinema had been evacuated due to a fault and it was unlikely that the film would be shown. We decided to go to blockbusters and watch a dvd at home (that's how long ago it was). DH was living with his parents at the time. When we arrived home we found MIL and FIL going at it on the living room floor! We all just laughed about it. It gets raised as a funny story now and then. It's not a big deal.

Lilibert456 · 26/10/2023 18:25

junglejane66 · 26/10/2023 15:35

Kinky

Show quote history

Haha. Just what I thought.

Ibravedaflood · 26/10/2023 18:27

Get him headphones for Christmas...we have a chock of wood that jams our door shut! Or I can't relax... But he is pretty rude just walking in. Even my 9yo knocks.