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Original poster

His ex wants closure - I’m pregnant

119 replies

seekingguidence92 · 22/10/2023 18:32

Hello, I’m 33 weeks pregnant. My partner is a long term (many year) friend who I fell in love with about 18 months ago as he was separating from his wife. She lives overseas and did during their very short marriage, no children).
she’s been refusing to sign divorce papers, pretending she has a lawyer, wants huge payouts etc despite it being a 3 year marriage, no assets to split and my partners 80k business savings.
she’s now saying she’s coming to england in two weeks for a friends wedding and she wants to meet my partner then for a coffee / drink to get closure. They’ve had many phone calls trying to agree the divorce - he agreed to 80% of his savings to get rid of her. Still she has kept his entire account (100%) and locked him out of it. We tried for many months to get back via Revolut but she changed all the details then withdrew all funds.
anyway….. she wants to meet him. I’m very very upset about this, he’s convinced it’s the only way to get rid of her and he’s scared of her / she’s a very dominating character. She does not know I’m pregnant. Any help!

OP posts:
Coldinscotland · 22/10/2023 18:33

Tag along. And he needs to take her to court for his money back.

happylittlesloth · 22/10/2023 18:35

Don't tell her you're pregnant

Ostryga · 22/10/2023 18:37

Don’t meet her, instruct a solicitor with all the details because she’s off her rocker if she thinks she’s entitled to all that.

Seriously, get legal advice and get closure that way. Meeting her is a very silly idea.

obje · 22/10/2023 18:38

Why's he not blocking her and seeing a solicitor to get his money back?

TiredMamOfTwo · 22/10/2023 18:40

Go along with him.

ChipAndMiss · 22/10/2023 18:57

Wow, who could have ever guessed that having a baby with another woman’s husband would cause such complications?

Nanny0gg · 22/10/2023 19:02

ChipAndMiss · 22/10/2023 18:57

Wow, who could have ever guessed that having a baby with another woman’s husband would cause such complications?

OFGS

Siha345 · 22/10/2023 19:24

ChipAndMiss · 22/10/2023 18:57

Wow, who could have ever guessed that having a baby with another woman’s husband would cause such complications?

Are you the wife??

RhymesWithTangerine · 22/10/2023 19:27

obje · 22/10/2023 18:38

Why's he not blocking her and seeing a solicitor to get his money back?

This. Why are either of you allowing all of this? No meet up - letter from lawyer instead.

SpareHeirOverThere · 22/10/2023 19:29

Stay out of it. Let dp deal with his own divorce, like the adult he is. It's nothing to do with you.

I would not take what he's telling you as the truth.

AnneLovesGilbert · 22/10/2023 19:35

Who would he rather upset at the moment, his ex or his heavily pregnant partner? Of course he shouldn’t bloody well meet her on his own. He should deal with the massive theft she’s committed and use a lawyer to finalise his divorce. Ideally before you have the baby.

fruitbrewhaha · 22/10/2023 19:41

Let him sort it, why do you need to get involved? He just needs a solicitor.

Livelovebehappy · 22/10/2023 19:52

Oh dear OP. You sound very insecure. Possibly due to the fact that he dumped her for you, and you’re worried he will now do it in reverse. Don’t really understand the bit who I fell in love with about 18 months ago as he was separating from his wife. Which possibly should read who I fell in love with about 18 months ago and he separated from his wife. Kind of sounds like you’re fudging the fact that you were the OW. But regardless, if you’re confident in his love for you, then it really shouldn’t be a problem them meeting up.

crumblingschools · 22/10/2023 19:56

How long had they been together?

Basilton · 22/10/2023 20:05

Why are you very upset about it? This is his wife and they have business to resolve, maybe meeting up will assist.

oranges29 · 22/10/2023 20:09

Nothing good will come from you accompanying him. I think he should go alone, give her the opportunity to get whatever it is she wants to get out. Worth it if it will help the divorce go more smoothly

Cas112 · 22/10/2023 20:10

Did he leave her for you and now your nervous he might go back?

Dweetfidilove · 22/10/2023 20:11

Him going is a bad idea.

You accompanying him is an even worse idea.

If she’s refusing 60k after ‘robbing’ him, advise him that 60k will buy a fair bit of legal aid.

Mari9999 · 22/10/2023 20:11

@seekingguidence92
What is there left to worry about? She has all of his money, and you have him. Unless you are fearful that she might still want him , I would encourage him to go and let her have closure particularly if there is any chance that this might hasten the end of the marriage. If you are worried that once seeing her ,he may be drawn to her again, if that were to happen ,you wouldn't be losing much.

happylittlesloth · 22/10/2023 20:12

ChipAndMiss · 22/10/2023 18:57

Wow, who could have ever guessed that having a baby with another woman’s husband would cause such complications?

It's not the baby causing the problems is it. It's the ex wife who needs to grow up and get on with it.

Rewis · 22/10/2023 20:23

Has he talked with his solicitor about the possible meeting?

Beautiful3 · 22/10/2023 20:28

No he shouldn't meet her. Just go and see a solicitor to get the divorce sorted.

Original poster
seekingguidence92 · 22/10/2023 20:34

I was not the other woman. We both ended relationships at a similar time! Things progressed quickly.
he wants to be sensitive to her mental health as he thinks if he’s kind and give her what she wants financially she would go away. Obviously that hasn’t happened. Papers were filed in Feb, she never responded.
I have zero insecurity that he wants her, he doesn’t and I have no doubts. She doesn’t want the marriage to end, he’s open and shows me all comms with her .

OP posts:
Mari9999 · 22/10/2023 20:38

@happylittlesloth
Unfortunately, there is no ex wife in this scenario. As it stands, there is only one woman pregnant by another woman's husband. Marriages are only over when there is a legally granted divorce.

Lachimolala · 22/10/2023 20:39

I thought you could force a divorce after two years? So pretty soon won’t he be able to divorce her whether she consents or not.