What one weird thing has killed a relationship stone dead in an instant for you?

[talkingmongoose]

Just something that told you there was nooooo future?

I was seeing a chap quite some years ago, pre DH. We had been dating about a year, and were getting into bed at his place when I mentioned that I had my period, just in a casual 'so no rumpy-pumpy tonight' kind of way. The issue had never come up before.

He went all pale with disgust, said 'I wish you hadn't told me that', and proceeded to sleep on the floor.

Utter, utter twunt, I never returned his calls after that. Lucky escape.

Another 'lovely' guy, things going well and mentioned I was having my period and used tampons, he proceeded and pushed the tampon inside me. I was a bit naive and didn't have the guts to just finish it but over the week it happened every night.

He went away the following week and things didn't continue on his return.

Many funny things on here though.

I have not contacted guys again based on a dodgy first kiss ...

I have a friend whose boyfriend was so in touch with her body she would wake up to find he'd inserted her diaphragm correctly and was ready for the off.

Bucharest - She'd wake up and find it already in and ready to go????

How the Jeff did she not wake up once he started rumaging around in her fanjo, trying to get said diaphragm in the right spot

I got it NotTheMessiah!!

I have a few, one was a guy at uni who I snogged at a party and we went in his room for... a.. ehem.. chat.. and then he told me he'd shag me if I didn't tell anyone, but that he actually wanted to go out with a girl who lived on my corridor in halls but wouldn't shag him (she was very christian). I didn't oblige him.

Another fella gave me crabs.. didn't really feel in the mood after that.

I went with one guy who was very sweet and on the 2nd date cooked me dinner. We then went upstairs and he literally snuffled at my boobs like a pig and then moved down and snuffled there, the sound effects were most off putting and I decided I should beat a hasty retreat.

Another guy asked me to lend him £100 on the first date. No.

One guy spent ages telling me about the historical reenactments he took part in every weekend.. fair enough but he went on and on and on.. see ya.

Another guy took me to see his horse on his first date and said we could shag but it would have to be in the stable because he lived with his mum. No thanks.

I have many more.

Jan - you must have met the brothers of all my freaks!

And I'm glad you got the joke.

One who had two pairs of pants - mustard and maroon y fronts. In 1991!
One who wore the same outfit every day and it was identical to his best mates. It was pre Simon Cowell making it ok.

Jan has just made me snortle and I so can't explain to dp why.

Have unpleasant and yet strangely Tess of the Durbeyville image now of a man in a medieval helmet snuffling up to her bosoms.

haha, oh god just imagine the noise a dog makes when they're sniffing at something, crossed with a pig..

So, where are these men now? Do we think they're married? Settled down with children? Stud muffins that we all missed out on?

Or are they the ones that you cross the road to avoid, you know, Mr Combover and his beige mac, lazy eye and strange tongue that appears at the side of his mouth for no reason at all?

Or Mr HandsInHisPockets with an odd grin on his face, slightly vacant looking yet strangely focused on something.

Or even worse, Mr SmellsLikeATartsBedroomAndWearsCreamSlipons, who frequents greasy spoons and classes them as a night out, drinks Bass shandy and gets pissed, has a lizard and an elderly mother who sits in the window watching the world go by at home.............

Oh!
Messiah....I'd forgotten Giles and his beige mac.....I was there, adorned on my bed, waiting, then glanced across and he'd hung his beige mac on my wardrobe door, and my desire just got up and went and I had to chuck him out.

Seeing a girl in bra,pants and pop socks.Enough already!

Chuh! As if being called Giles wasn't a turn off enough!

Finding my ex self harming because he (mistakenly) thought I'd stood him up. Arsehole.

ahaha, giles and his beige mac, love it.

I once went on a few dates with a guy who was fairly wealthy and properly woooooed me with romance and compliments and nice dinners and the like. He had recently moved a couple of hours away but was in London for work a lot (which is when we went out) on business so we went on another date and went back to his hotel afterwards to do the deed for the first time. We had okish sex and then at about 3 in the morning he sat up and said, actually, I need to get back so I'll leave now to beat the traffic (I repeat, 3am). I was a bit pissed off as I felt used.. but said ok as I was half asleep. Then when I woke up again he had left £50 on the bedside table.

Yes, I felt like a whore and told him so and refused to see him again. He said it was for a taxi but he knew I'd get the tube as we'd discussed how quick it was for me from there. I took the £50 though, despite my services being worth far more obviously..

He recently contacted me through facebook. IGNORE!

I don't really have anything too crazy to add, just this one thing from uni - i have never made up my mind about not wanting to see someone ever again as clearly as i did that night and i don't even know why. It really wasn't that bad. I just felt a bit caged.

This guy was quite normal, maybe a bit shy like me. We had some things in common, but most of the time i felt like we didn't have anything to talk about. I'd known him for about two weeks.

First sort-of-but-maybe-not-quite-a-date was at an annual formal party (He was my best friend's boyfriend's good friend and asked me to go with him so we and my best friend and his boyfriend and a few more people would go as a group and have a nice night out).

For some reason he kept isolating me from the group and at the end of the night he said this.

Him: So, same thing next year?

Me: (IN MY HEAD: WTH DO YOU MEAN; I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU, WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THE ASSUMPTION YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN MY LIFE IN A YEAR AFTER ONE EVENING?)
(in reality i pretended not to hear him)

and 5 minutes later he grabbed my hands, looked me dead in the eyes and said it again.

and i just gave him a wry smile.

And after that night never contaced him again.

Jan - I swear we have moved in the same circles!

Bra, knickers and knee-high socks, no that would be better? Surely?

Bucharest - Tis me, Mouseface. This is just my Easter name, call me Mouse please, the Messiah bit ifs a bit scary. Especially as the chances are, if I were to cross over holy ground, I'd spontaneously burst into flames

FFS typos - 'now' that would be better.......

bit is a bit scary.......

Uniquegeek these days I wouldn't be bothered by the c**t comment, (although, not one of my favourite words) but back then, 22yrs ago, (God I'm old) when I was a sweet inexperienced little thing,I hadn't worked out that sex wasn't necessarily all love and roses, and was destroyed at that comment.
Oh *Megatron", I would actually have killed the wardrobe man.
Mittzy, oh dear, you have just reminded me of Nigel who in the middle of a snogfest/gropefest helpfully removed my tampon without telling me he was going to and left it on the carpet. I helpfully showed him the door.
There are some things that should not be done.

The one who after a date at the cinema, watching Titanic, ran down the corridor full of people leaving shouting "Run, run, it's sinking".

The guy with a willy that looked like a cheap sausage roll, you know the kind, the one with loads of thick pastry and very little meat, the foreskin being the pastry in this case. Put me right off it did.

bloke at Uni who told me he wanted to work as a manager at Sainsburys - it was his goal - nothing wrong with that but there you go

I am wetting myself laughing at these!!! I also want to know where they all are now!

I can remember ending it with one bloke after the only time we had sex. He was so weeny that I literally could not feel a thing. He then stopped having apparently finished, looked a bit bashful and said that next time I should let him know when I am going to climax...I wasn't even close, not even in the building! And there was no 'next time'

I knew one girl at uni whose boyfriend would, as the first thing he did in the morning, get up and pick up all the gritty bits in the carpet and roll them in a spliff.. just in case it was some dope he'd dropped. Sex with him was so great, she would light up a ciggy half way through. It took her a surprisingly long time to dump the loser.

You know that gloopy white shit that sometimes collects in the corner of your eyes ? Well i met a loveley chap , was quite smitten until he wiped the corner of his eyes then licked it off his finger . He did it quite casually and it was obviously no big deal to him.

Shudder.

Diggs - eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew

diggs that reminds me of an annoucement at work aboout 15 years ago to ask whichever man it was who was picking his nose and wiping it on the ledge in the uirinals to stop please because a pile was building up and the cleaners were unhappy....

My mouth is actually watering in preparation of peuking reading that migrating. My ex would wipe his crows on the side of the bathroom cabinet .

Ive just gagged a little bit at the memory.