What one weird thing has killed a relationship stone dead in an instant for you?

[talkingmongoose]

Just something that told you there was nooooo future?

I was seeing a chap quite some years ago, pre DH. We had been dating about a year, and were getting into bed at his place when I mentioned that I had my period, just in a casual 'so no rumpy-pumpy tonight' kind of way. The issue had never come up before.

He went all pale with disgust, said 'I wish you hadn't told me that', and proceeded to sleep on the floor.

Utter, utter twunt, I never returned his calls after that. Lucky escape.

Being told (with a proud smile on his face) " Once I asked my ex GF to scrub the bathroom with a tooth brush because... (I cannot remember what the poor girl had done). At that moment I just new I had to finish that relationship.

I had a friend whose paramour could only come if eating pork pies with the living room curtains open and them in full view of the outside world.

Tears are running down my face; I'm absolutely dying here!

Easter, they really named him that? Seriously?!

The worst guy I ever dated refused to speak to me for a day after I beat him at chess.

Everyone else has been pretty normal, though I must say it's a good thing for DH that I was so staggeringly in love with him before I realized how many times a day he washes his hands.

i must have missed this thread originally... but boy have i not lived a full life...thanks MNs for cheering me up: the only one I could think of is a student RAF fighter pilot who couldnt do 'it' and I lacked the experience to show him how as we were both virgins and he talked incessantly about ejector seats, maybe the two subjects were related now I come to think about it !

I was going out with a chap who would come and talk to me when I was having a bath, nothing wrong with that you may think as did I until I realised that he was actually having a poo. I could not go near him again after that, shame too as he was utterly gorgeous but I could not get the image of him straining out of my head.

Having a poo while you were in the bath????? That is just so wrong.

One bf that lasted 2 months....Realising he was an alcoholic.
Another...when he hit me.
Another.....when he told me to fuck off.
Another...when he left me all night to bf my newborn babe when I had a sick bug.

A new BF I was seeing sat on my sofa when I was in the kitchen, and he didn't realise that I could see/hear him. He viciously threw my cat off the sofa and across the room with the words "when I move in you'll be put down, you skanky beast".

Suffice to say, the "BF" didn't even make it to the glass of wine I was getting him from the kitchen. He made it to the door pretty damn fast, all the time protesting I was unreasonable and "over reacting over a fucking cat". Twunt.

I had met this guy who seemed quite nice, although him being called Festus was a bit of a turn off when we got down to the "deed" I didn't realise it had actually happened because of his pencil sized manhood!

Some of these are brilliant but can't believe that some of you have dumped guys for talking dirty during sex. I'd love to be told I have a tight c*. A compliment if ever I heard one. Better than having a bucket fanny!

I recently hooked up with an ex who made me realise why we split up in the first place. He had this thing about making love to my breasts which i found very alarming. It seemed this was the only way he could reach the end goal if you like. It made me feel like a porn star!! A real shame as he had all the tools but didnt know how to use them....

The day I came home from work and my boyfriend of 6 months jumped out of my wardrobe 'for a laugh'. He'd taken the spare key of my flat the last time he'd been there because he thought I'd find it funny. After I almost suffered complete bowel evacuation I punched him square in the face. Freak.

first time i met DHs mother
15 years on and she is still very annoying

Bath is leaking into downstair's flat. I don rubber gloves and get the tools out and lie on the floor to get under the bath.

BF at the time is in the middle of washing his face and I ask him not to turn the taps on for a moment as I am fixing the leak.

Him: But I've got soap on my face! My skin will go dry!

I was actually lying on the floor, spanner in hand, mouth open. I mean, I'm totally up for reversal of traditional gender roles but that's just whiny.

Great thread, should be in classics!

Not really funny this one but on our 3rd date (after he'd stayed over) he launched into a description of how he had split his ex girlfriends lip and broken her ribs.

Needless to say we did not make it to a fourth date. And he was very affronted that I didn't want to see him any more. He warned me that he would never speak to me again.

As you can imagine, I was devastated.

Hmmm, let me see.

There was the guy that broke into my flat (very shoddy windows) whilst I was at work, ran me a nice hot bath, scattered the water with rose petals, scented candles etc lit all around, chilled bottle of wine, etc.

Then he left! Fuckwit could've burned the place to the ground! Luckily I got there before the candles burnt low.

That was the end of him.

Then there was the fruit & veg delivery guy. You know, drives round with a van full of ahem, veg

He declared undying love for me after our second date (no sex) and asked me to marry him, wanted to move in, have babies.

Aaaaaarrrrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Goodbye.

And last but not least is my favourite freakazoid of all time (I attrack them I'm sure)

Now this chap, he was special. Vair well to do, vair charming and vair well brought up. Manners, nice car, secure and even had his own teeth.

We went out maybe six or seven times, over a few months and on one evening, we decided to go for a walk after dinner to the local nature reserve.

Lovely summer night, we strolled around for a while chatting, very Mills & Boon, and then went back to his car. Kissing and you know...... stuff.

Anyway, we ended up being stuck in the nature reserve all night! He knew that the gates were locked at 11pm but decided a shag snog was more important than getting us out of there! He admitted the next morning that he'd been planning it for weeks!

That was the last I saw of him.

HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAH! My fave is Mr Grim Reaper

There was the gorgeous, sexy Turk I had a thing with at college, who ill-advisedly told me he was only with me because I got good marks writing his essays :(

Another boy at college: he was the surfer dude, I'd fancied him for ages. He fell asleep as soon as he'd finished - and snored like a herd of stampeding hippos! I had to let myself out of his place and walk home to get some kip.

Andy took a little notebook on our first and last date, in which he noted every penny he spent: "pint lager, £2.50. Garlicbutter, £2.10" etc. I asked how much I'd cost him so far; he answered instantly, to the penny.

There was Stanley, who celebrated having sex by putting my knickers on his head & dancing round the bed.

Dan and I had been friends for ages, there'd always been a spark and I was dead chuffed when we got together ... until he asked me, mid-bonk, how much I weighed (I was on top.) Then he announced he'd finished and rolled away - while I was still coming. Shame, he's a lovely bloke.

Speaking of lovely blokes: my friends really thought I should carry on seeing John, who was lovely but didn't appear to know what goes where during copulation and kept up a running commentary on the (frustrating) proceedings.

I really thought Ian might become a long-term thing until he asked to see some photos of my family. He gazed adoringly at a picture of my sister-in-law, murmuring "God, she's beautiful!" She is, but he wouldn't put the damn picture down

My fiance who told a pal, in front of me, he was "young, free and single" Like the fool I was, I still married him.

I could go on ... nearly all my boyfriends wanted to marry me, but that was only because they were twats and I was a doormat

My newish paramour was going down on me and I kept seeing flashes of light. Eventually realised he was taking pictures of a very intimate part of me... I jumped up and grabbed the camera, ripped the back open (this was in the olden days) and there was no film in there. He accused me of taking out the film before we got started.

Oh my life I'd forgotten the Welsh one....one night stand, lurvely accent, left my wonderbra down the side of his bed and he brought it to me next day in a Victoria Wines paper bag....which I could have forgiven....what I couldn't forgive was the fact that he'd let slip, and indeed showed me, his collection of full and used condoms. He kept them in a little line inside his wardrobe.
Bless.

Well I'm a bloke. I once met a woman on an internet dating site. We arranged to meet for a drink. Halfway there she called to say she had babysitter problems so would I mind coming round to hers.
'ello' I thought to myself, this sounds promising.
That was until she opened the door to reveal she was 8 months pregnant.
I kid you not.

kittychat - OMG.

Mine is quite mild in comparison. When I was about 18 and very drunk I met a guy in a nightclub and we went outside to a multi storey car park to erm get to know each other a bit better. Stupid? Yes, I was putting myself in all sorts of danger. When I got outside and into the cold air I sobered up a bit and realised that it was a bad idea but that I wouldn't mind seeing him again, just not in a multi storey car park . However when I told him this and he realised there would be no blow job that night he started crying and pleading for me to go down on him. I was and decided I wouldn't see him again after all.

I wonder if in another world on a dadsnet site and on an identical thread if there would be as many stories from men about freaky women too?

Bucharest

Kitty did you slap him up side the fucking face?

gawdon - how nice to hear from you again

That was my first ever post.

Hmm, me thinks you're missing the point of my joke. Sorry. I was indicating that I was the date, the 8 month pg lady?

Sorry, I'll get my coat.

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