What one weird thing has killed a relationship stone dead in an instant for you?

[talkingmongoose]

Just something that told you there was nooooo future?

I was seeing a chap quite some years ago, pre DH. We had been dating about a year, and were getting into bed at his place when I mentioned that I had my period, just in a casual 'so no rumpy-pumpy tonight' kind of way. The issue had never come up before.

He went all pale with disgust, said 'I wish you hadn't told me that', and proceeded to sleep on the floor.

Utter, utter twunt, I never returned his calls after that. Lucky escape.

The one who gently stroked my lips....with a swiss army blade.....and said "Don't ever lie to me"

WMMC - I know it's great! HAd never seen it until the thread in chat.

There was also one who spent all his student loan on fags, booze and light drugs (even though he had medical problems that meant they could kill him) by half way through the first term, so borrowed his sisters carefully saved up EMA and spent that too! It was around the time when his sister found him unconscious in a field when he was supposed to come meet me that I gave up.

He cleaned up his act a bit later on but it was way too late. (Not sure if his sister forgave him!)

Had to namechange for these confessions.

I was finally doing the deed with someone I had the biggest crush on after a big build up for weeks of flirting and snogging. It was only my second sexual relationship, and to be fair, I was still a bit naive.
I though it was true love right up to the point where half way through he breathed "Oh My God you have such a tight c**t. "
I. went. right. off. him. at that point and never saw him again afterwards.

Then later there was the one who was into far more things than I was, (still fairly inexperienced, have no idea how I managed to meet these people!) and asked would I be adverse to dressing up.
I said no, so he surprised horrified me, by buying online a too big maids outfit. It was a nasty purple shiney polyester number a la Widow Twankey. I shrieked that it was awful, (really, he had no taste) told him to return it, and he said he couldn't as he had opened it up in the kitchen and stained it. It wasn't that sort of stain

Or the time I argued and won with a new fella about going to mine after clubbing as I hadn't tidied up and was too embarrased to let him know what a slob I was. Until we got to his and I saw his hovel. Shagged on dubious sheets, then in the morning when he was in the shower, I opened the curtains by the side of the bed to let daylight in and promptly shut them again. On the floor at the side of the bed (under the window) was a copy of the Sun opened at page 3 . And the window had what could only be spunk stains trailing down the glass.
I picked up my clothes and sneaked out.

Or the one who told me he didnt normally come through blowjobs, (so of course I had to prove him wrong ) We'd been fooling around but hadn't actually had full sex at that point. I got to work and when he came, he scared the shit out of me by seeming to have some sort of seizure. I was freaking out and as I was contemplating calling 999 he came round and said "sorry I should have warned you, I move around a lot when I come"
Ya think?
Thing was, he was 6ft 6 and built like a tank. If we'd been doing missionary style with him on top he'd have killed me.

I really have had some classy boyfriends.

I was chatting to this really attractive guy I just met on freshers week at a party and the next thing I know he has got his cock out and started rubbing it in my face, no joke I ended up running out of the nearest open window.

Or the guy who told me he could talk to dolphins and was really into marine biology he asked me to put my feet in the shape of a mermaids fin :/

or one Spanish man who yelled " I come I come" at that moment of no return.

Dear God, some of you lot totally took leave of your senses! :o

redandyellowandpinkandgreen I always laugh at the Farmers Own Seed signs too! DH thinks I am easily amused!

I worked in an agency and really, really fancied 1 of our temps - until I found out he'd changed his name by deed poll to Mr Grim Reaper

These are hilarious! For me it was the guy who got out of bed the morning after our first night together, put on his clean pants he had brought with him, and came and sat with me on the sofa in nothing but his pants. They were this kind of style without the weird vent and were vile. I made a comment about them and he said they were 'not his fuck me pants, maybe my grope me pants hahaha' and sat there drinking tea, cross legged in these monstrous things. There were a couple of other things but that was the main one

Easter Eggs it is funny. I always get the giggles at weddings too when they start talking about putting your ring on his finger.

Absolutely pmsl at those pants. Am trying to delete the page from my phone and they won't go!

My first boyfriend invited me around to his house and told me he was cooking me dinner. I got all dressed up, really excited, told my mates my new boyfriend was cooking me dinner, they all thought I was really lucky, I got to his house and he was dressed in his boxer shorts and a tatty old dressing gown. He told me dinner wouldn't be too long and nodded towards the microwave where a small bowl of tinned ravioli was sizzling away on the turn-plate.

I then had a date with a guy who I thought was cool because he had his own car (I was 16). I got in the car all excited and the first thing he said to me was "My mum doesn't really approve of you". I said "she's never met me!?" and he replied "no I know, but she thinks your name is a bit common".

Fast forward a few years and I'm 24 and meet up with a guy for our first date - we got to Chiquitos and in the bar he empties his wallet out on the counter and counts up all his spare change finally announcing - "nice one! I can afford a starter too!" (He didn't do this quietly).

'Kids are like dogs. You need to train them the same way.'

(Years later he was seen in the park, yelling at/kicking his dog)

Thanks for this thread. I've made a lot of mistakes in relationships in the past. It's good to be reminded of the right decisions

This is a great thread..now let me think...

One who wouldn't have sex because a) he had "a full bladder" and b) sex was for procreation.

Another whose idea of a first date was "Ai No Corrida" (sp) and who proclaimed we were like a "trinity"

Another who wanted me to bite him on the bum. A lot.

This thread is fucking brilliant and has cheered me up no end (scary weirdos notwithstanding)

i was seeing this charismatic ,gorgeous guy with a body to die for,i was actually waiting to get hurt as i adored him so much and he was such a stud.
The first night he stayed in my house he asked if it was ok to take a shower,he then pulled out an asda carrier bag and put it on his head to keep his dreadlocks dry!!!!
I instantly went off him but im not sure if it was the bag or the fact it was from asda I even ironed his shirt to get him gone asap and drove him to the train station at double speed. He yexted me off the train to say he couldnt stop thinking about me

hmmm, well I had a boyfriend you told me he was thinking of voting BNP...so that ended that.

I had one who I slept with a few times but each time he came in about 2 minutes, rolled over, went straight to sleep and snored so loudly the bed shook.

Another who told me my best friend had given him a blow job (not true) and when he discovered that I'd asked her, as of course I would have done, explained the lie that he was testing to see how trust worthy I was...

I think I really pick them, can't seem to find a normal bloke.

oh and the worst was a first date where he insisted on going for a meal. I didn't want to partly because I was skint and partly because I thought it'd be easier to just go for a couple of drinks on a first date.

So I said no - just a drink and made sure I ate first. On the night though we met up in a pub and then he said he was hungry and hadn't eaten. So, we ended up in restaurant that he chose that was quite pricey. As I'd already eaten I just had a starter while he had the full three courses - all the while telling me how much he earned and owned 2 houses etc.

When the bill came he said 'do you mind if we go halves?'...!

I did split it by the way but never agreed to see him again.

Oh and there was the one where we'd been out a few times, and he was quite nice, so I agreed to him cooking me dinner at his place. He went to so much trouble to get everything I liked.
Poor chap took me off to bed afterwards and we had pretty crappy first time sex. It was all a bit odd for me, as I'd never had a boyfriend that wasnt fairly muscley and he was a bit doughey.
In the morning I went and got dressed in the downstairs loo as his bathroom had no door, (Just finishing being renovated) and I didnt feel comfortable dressing or showering in front of him.
I thought I'd just shower when I got home. As I was walking past the bathroom door to pick up the last of my bits, he was leaning over the sink brushing his teeth, naked.
All I could see was his elbow moving uo and down and this flabby white bum wobbling in time to the rhythm of him brushing his teeth.
Poor lad, he really was nice but unfortunately I never managed to wipe that sight from my mind, and couldn't bring myself to see him again.

I was seeing a guy who kept giving hints and instructions about practical things, such as 'put more powder in the washer', 'fold your clothes this way', 'park your car like this', etc and it was starting to grate as at the time I had away from parents for 10 years and had managed.
The killer was when I was on the toilet one day and a voice on the other side of the door gave a 'helpful', 'remember to wipe front to back'. That was enough!

Poppet Thats hysterical.

Oh this thread has made me laugh so much, and its a relief to know that I'm not the only one who had weird boyfriends.

I once ended it with a bloke before I'd even met him (chatted on a dating site, had spoken on the phone a few times so wwe were trying to arrange a first date).

First there were the long silences on the phone, and I mean, an entire minute of nothing would go after I'd asked a question. It feels reaaally long when you're hanging on the line. After a couple times this happened I asked him if he was alright, and he said "fine, I just need time to think how to respond". We were having BASIC chit-chat to gage interest, no a philosophical debate fgs!

Then he proceeded to moan about how rubbish France is, and how foreigners are a bit weird. As I'm French and really interested in learning about other cultures (as described in detail on my internet profile), that was a bit awkward to say the least.

Then he wouldn't take the train or tube to London to meet me because of the bombings (this was a few months after the july terror attacks), which is fair enough I guess, but I just couldn't date someone more scared than me when I had to do the bloody journey every day to get to work. He wanted to come up by car and either park outside my house (err, no I've never met you before, I'm not telling you where I live just yet, thanks) or have me make arrangements for a car park for him or whatever, and made such a huge deal of it all that I thought, first dates aren't supposed to be this difficult and awkward and I'm getting fed up before I've even met the guy, let's save him a wasted journey. So I call him to cancel, at which point he gets insanely angry with me, and says in a really nasty way "well, I don't know what you want in a man, but you're clearly never gonna find it if you're that difficult"

At 17, the manager of the freezer section of sainsburys where I worked at the time, who'd just moved to us from a different branch, who took me to local retail park on our first date, bought a new football, asked if I needed to go buy anything, then back to his. Where we had a bit of a grope, then he dropped me home and went to work. Second date, straight back to his, sex (my first time) then he proudly shows me his leaving card from old branch, saying stuff like 'who is going to shag all the 16 year olds now?!' He was 24, only now I'm 24 do I find this a bit odd!

I dated a guy who was huge. Prop for a county rugby team, 6'6 and quite nice. Until I found out he was a trannie who wanted to try on all my clothes and lingerie. No way was his huge body stretching my nice undies!

I dated a guy who I thought was 22 but was actually 18. I was 21 at this stage. He was loaded and spent a fortune on me but I found out that his dad was quite high up in the mob and i had visions of waking up with a horses head in my bed so he had to go.

There was the one who asked me on a date and then rang to say he couldn't pick me up because he'd lost his licence for drink driving - "but it was the morning after so that's ok"

There was also the one who on our first night together had stripped the bed and hadn't washed it so we had to sleep on a bare mattress underneath a duvet with no cover on!

I think I got off pretty lightly though compared to some of you here!

I've mentioned a few of these before...

The one who shared 4 pairs of Union Jack underpants with his brother and did the one-week-this-way-on, one-week-back-to-front thing....

The one who took me back to his boudoir sat me on his bed, opened his bedside cabinet and got out the complete collection of L. Ron Hubbard Scientology books.....

The one who used to call me the Goddess and break into our house to leave me gothic poetry.....

The one who waited till we were nekkid and then said "I've never done this before....." (I know we all have to start somewhere but I was old by then)