Snoring - I’m so tired and angry that this is my life now

[TeenLifeMum]

Has anyone found a solution to snoring?

i love dh - he’s great in so so many ways but this morning I yelled and cried. I’m so bloody tired. Our dc are teens and so we’re beyond the waking in the night stage but I rarely get a full night of sleep because he’s started snoring. It used to only be when he had a cold but now it’s every night.

He’s been to the gp and saw someone in the ent team in April but still waiting for a referral date for the next step. He chased this morning after my meltdown. So he is trying. He’s using sprays etc and I’ve tried ear plugs but hated those.

I love him but want to kill him at the same time (not actually going to kill him).

I’m sad I don’t want to sleep with dh in the same bed and jealous of my dc with their own bedrooms. No spare rooms as we have 3dc in a 4 bed house.

I’m just so tired and struggling to accept this is my life now.

Ask the kids to agree between them for either one of them to volunteer to downsize to take the study for their bedroom so that their ex-room can become a more functional study-bedroom or for two of them to volunteer to share a room (possibly letting them have the largest room and possibly using a room divider system - google "bunk bed room divider")

Bribe them with a permanent pocket money boost for whichever one or two of them are willing to volunteer.

Tah-dah you are now able to sleep in a separate room.

We are at this stage too. I think there comes a time in every woman's life when she realises she no longer has to put up with sleepless nights.

Why is it that the person who doesn't snore ends up having to leave their own bedroom? I've noticed this with friends whose husbands snore. I'd chuck them out and keep my own bed and they can figure out how to stop snoring then be granted access again.

Would this fit in your study? https://www.studybed.co.uk/

you can leave everything on the desk while using the bed so it’s not too faffy.

Oh just saw your update about the length. Could you fit a sliding door so it would still open?

There is a salt fan you can buy in the pharmacy, they are expensive but it’s worth it if it works.

my sisters friend bought it because their newborn had a cold and her husband stopped snoring when it was in the room. It’s worth a shot if you can afford it.

all the best

Here is the link: https://www.salinplus.com/

In my case it's because it's her bedroom.

@TeenLifeMum I could have written this EXACT post. All our bedrooms are occupied, we're open plan downstairs and the office is too small for a mattress. I've lost count of the nights I've lain there desperately wishing there was somewhere I could go and I too am a broken record wanting my own bedroom, feeling jealous of the children!
I'm definitely more sensitive to the sound and a lighter sleeper with peri menopause. I recommend taking Magnesium Glycinate after evening meal, it has helped my sleep a lot. Also I recommend the 'military sleep method' but instead of just clearing my mind (that won't clear!) I pick a subject and go through the alphabet thinking of things beginning with each letter (i.e. Food - A - apple, B - banana, C - carrot etc etc) I drop off very quickly this way.
Good luck!
Military Sleep Method: Technique and Benefits (verywellmind.com)

Have you ever seen the fold up beds on wheels? Maybe worth having a look. You could put up in lounge to sleep on and store out of sight. Maybe a short term solution till your DH gets seen. Also you may find if you get one decent night’s sleep that your ok for a few nights sharing so may not be needed all the time.
Also re ear plugs have you tried different once. Took me a while to find some that worked. I found foam once did not work well.

Sleep deprivation has a massive adverse effect on health. Your health.

You need to stop worrying about everyone else and prioritize yourself. Put two girls into same bedroom and move yourself to your own room. Many people grow up sharing bedrooms; they'll survive.

Medically, you need a separate room. So your two DDs need to start sharing. It really is as simple as that.

Their WANT for separate rooms does not trump your NEED for your own room.

Exactly this. It's a health matter.

All you need is a divan bed or a cot that can be folded up.

It's better than crashing a car because you're a zombie or getting run down and catching every winter bug going. Or strangling your H in his sleep...

Hi @TeenLifeMum Sorry but I have only read all of your posts, and you have probably had many people say this to you, but your DH could have Sleep Apnea. I know that your DH has a healthy waist size (unless he is very short), but if his collar size is 18" or above, then according to my and my husband's sleep apnea technician, he will almost certainly have at least a strong tendency towards suffering from Sleep Apnea.

He is obviously already on the correct pathway for discovering if that is his problem. The great news is that if it is Sleep Apnea he will be lent - free of charge - a CPAP machine, which (if that is the only cause of his snoring) will seemingly miraculously/magically stop his snoring!

If it is S.A. your DH will, as I said before, be lent a CPAP machine on a free long-term loan. There may be a slight hiccup if your DH does not take to wearing a mask straight away - it can take some people a while to adjust to them - in which case he would need to perservere with it, as it really is worth it. In fact both my DH and I find it very difficult to fall asleep these days without putting ours on first! At first you may both laugh at how it looks, and if you are a playful couple you can have some fun and games with it 😉

One last thing OP, if your husband is willing to give it a try, suggest he asks the 'sleep unit' at the hospital he attends - via email if possible - to test him with an oximeter (sp?) for one or two of nights. Because if they could just bring that part of his testing forward, both they and you two, would know in advance if he is likely to need a CPAP machine. Hopefully, if you find out that he does indeed have S.A. the knowledge that the end of his snoring is only an appointment away, will help you both be patient for just a little while longer.

Failing that, you should be able to find out if the waiting list is shorter in another Health Authority. I believe that we do still have the right to attend a different H.A. but of course only you two will know whether the logistics involved in attending a different H.A. is worth it for the two of you. Whatever the reasons for your DH's snoring, I really hope that the problem gets resolved very quickly now. 🌻

Game changer for us. Silence for me but also allows him to get a decent sleep too. His snoring woke himself up!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Grinding-Sleeping-Clenching-Reusable-Prevent/dp/B0BTKNTX1Y/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_sspa?adgrpid=55964796671&hvadid=259150348993&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=1007297&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=11466963405623000173&hvtargid=kwd-302233940283&hydadcr=16905_1717158&keywords=snoring+gum+shield&qid=1697691647&sr=8-2-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfYXRm&psc=1&smid=A1K6SAQVGT6KS1

Just to say I feel for you and am very glad that your dh and dc are taking it seriously. My late dh was a terrible snorer and my ds snores quite a bit despite being 19 and fit as a butcher's dog, some people just do. Sadly so do I... but mine is weight related so there's an 'easy' solution.

I've just ordered a custom 185cm bed (they do shorter ones) from Shorty Beds in Lancashire as I have a very small guest space. Not sure what it will be like and i don't think it will work for you, but just in case.

I'd put a fold out bed in the lounge or dining room. No sleep is a killer. I now snore and Dh sleeps in Ds1's bed as he is at Uni. I hate the fact he's not in our bed.

Long term nasal polyps (Samter's Triad to be exact) sufferer here. Obviously I don't know your husband's medical history but if it's the polyps and allergies to blame for the snoring, that's what needs treating.

After many years of absolute misery, pointless surgeries and ineffective steroid sprays I saw a wonderful consultant who prescribed a short course of prednisolone and flixonase nasules, then back on the nasonex spray daily. Repeating this cycle a couple of times a year has been an absolute game changer - the effect is almost immediate and lasts a few months. So, not a cure, but the relief is incredible and the symptoms don't seem to be quite as bad when they return. It's a recognised NHS pathway for the treatment of troublesome polyps, so I'm not unique. Might be worth asking GP/ENT if it hasn't been suggested/tried already?

Good luck, I hope your husband gets properly treated and you get some sleep very soon.

Me and DH sleep in different rooms. I like him a lot more now! It's the only solution OP, even earplugs didn't block it out. We both sleep much better now.

My husband snores and I can’t abide any noise whatsoever so I have conditioned myself to sleep with earplugs and I never hear anything now - it’s amazing!! It took me around 6 weeks to really get used to sleeping with them and find the ones that work best for me

Sounds like my house OP.

It's bloody torture putting up with snoring.
I sleep on the sofa, I don't mind as I like my own space. It's a comfy one and I have extra pillows.
Can you turn your sofa into a bed?
Earfit earplugs are very comfortable.

Yeah this is true for me.
It's annoying but he just won't move and I can't physically move him myself. It's worth it to get sleep.

My husband lost a stone and a half and it stopped him snoring, he wasn't even particularly overweight but it made a big difference.

How did it go last night, OP?

Why grown women make themselves the most put upon, least considered and even irrelevant person in the house, I’ll never understand. Maybe it’s to prove their luuurrrve? COAB.