Snoring - I’m so tired and angry that this is my life now

[TeenLifeMum]

Has anyone found a solution to snoring?

i love dh - he’s great in so so many ways but this morning I yelled and cried. I’m so bloody tired. Our dc are teens and so we’re beyond the waking in the night stage but I rarely get a full night of sleep because he’s started snoring. It used to only be when he had a cold but now it’s every night.

He’s been to the gp and saw someone in the ent team in April but still waiting for a referral date for the next step. He chased this morning after my meltdown. So he is trying. He’s using sprays etc and I’ve tried ear plugs but hated those.

I love him but want to kill him at the same time (not actually going to kill him).

I’m sad I don’t want to sleep with dh in the same bed and jealous of my dc with their own bedrooms. No spare rooms as we have 3dc in a 4 bed house.

I’m just so tired and struggling to accept this is my life now.

I really don't see why yout husband can't sleep in the living room. Just tell the kids it is out of bounds during his sleeping hours, I feel like you are making this harder than it needs to be.
Also if he drinks alcohol at all I would get him to stop and also try cutting out dairy

Can you go buy some cheap earphones and then listen to white noise? You can get really cheap earphones for under 10/15 quid so you could try a few different ones out and see what’s comfy. Might be annoying at first but you would get used to it.

I’m also a pitch-black total silence sleeper but I found the only thing that works for me when I don’t have pitch-blackness or silence is white noise. I can’t do the jungle or rainfall or waves but the fan noise works wonders!!

@Foreverdecorating he did last night.

he’s not overweight (32-34 inch waist), has never smoked and rarely drinks. Possibly once a month he’ll have a bud light. He is active, fit and well in every other way.

I do feel a bit more centred having posted. Thank you everyone.

Does he still snore if lying on his side? If not then he must sleep on his side permanently. There are sleep positioning pillows (like for pregnant women) and/or a traditional technique is sewing a ball into the back of his pyjamas

You have my sympathy, I couldn't share a link for some reason but I've screenshot a mouth guard my husband got on Amazon. I'd say it works around 90 per cent of the time. If it gets to bad I go and sleep in my stepdaughter's room if it's free or I send husband to the sofa.

We have the same problem and DH sleeps in the guest bedroom.

OP lack of sleep is considered to be a form of torture. Everyone needs good rest and sleep for basic health.

it’s very important that you get your own space to sleep in peace.

Sorry to say this but from your posts you are résistent to suggestions and you seem to be thinking of why the situation can’t change rather than how it can change.

Think of a solution. Stop being a martyr and put your needs first. The situation cannot continue as it is.

@bonzaitree I’m probably being dismissive re creating an extra sleep space because I’ve considered all options on this for many months. Yes we can sleep in the sofa but that’s not a long term solution as it affects your back (we have a lovely mattress so the sofa really isn’t the same), the study isn’t big enough for a bed and is used as an office space, dc sharing more than a couple of nights a week will impact on their learning as they sleep less and the arguments create an awful situation for everyone. I need to balance everyone’s needs.

this morning’s outburst has started a conversation and there are other ideas other than creating my own bedroom we can try so we’ll go through those.

I do get what you mean re earplugs - some can be very annoying. Could be worth considering different types though: I got this sample pack online which was useful for trying a good range of smaller ones that weren't designed for men. https://www.snorestore.co.uk/acatalog/earplug-samples-for-women.html#SID=6

Well then I guess just stay there and don’t sleep then.

Search 'anti snoring devices dentist' online and get him to visit the nearest dentist that provides such a thing. He won't have to wait ages for an appointment and while it will be pricey, would be less than a CPAP machine.

Er @bonzaitree I’ve taken on board lots of ideas posters have suggested but I can’t magic up more space in my house or make a change that significantly negatively impacts my dc. Not sure why you’re quite so snappy about that. If it was as simple as sleeping in the living room then perhaps I would have done that.

Could you replace the sofa with a daybed or futon?

Maybe if you do a combination of all the ideas eg living room twice a week, kids room twice a week etc until he is seen you won't feel as murderous :)

Nice that some people come on to be an arse, op didn't ask if posters are enjoying singledom.

You have my sympathy op sleep deprivation is brutal. We've had to move to a bigger bloody house because of it.

Have you ever tried listening to white noise on one of those headband earphones op? Sometimes that worked for me.

I'm sure you've already thought of this but could you fit one of those sort of bunk bed type beds and have your desk/computer underneath.
When I did our Boxroom as a bedroom I found that the average uk single bed size was a few centimetres to long so DH made a bed frame himself. Could that work?

Shorter term solutions:
Get a sofa bed for the living room
Move the office desk into your room and find a way to fit a small mattress there.

Expensive/ longer term solutions:
Convert the attic to another bedroom
Insulated cabin type thing in the garden
Bury husband under the patio

OP you're not being selfish or unreasonable for wanting your own space. Not being able to sleep is a killer, there is a reason it is used as a method of torture. You've outlined the reasons that others in your family cannot be moved around or share, which is fine, but you matter too.

Separate rooms! is the only way.

My same sex children just had to share.

I borrowed one of these last summer and slept on it for a few nights, and having a long term bad back and being very particular about my sleeping surface, it was very comfy indeed. Would have no qualms about sleeping on one at all. Is there anywhere you could stick one of these? It did roll up, but not tiny, still a bit of a lump, but could be an option until the Shepherds Hut plan swings into action.

You have my sympathy, it's a special kind of torture to be stuck next to a snorer, for both of you.

@TeenLifeMum has it been established what the cause of his snoring is? Nose snoring is treated differently to mouth snoring. I have a large tongue which falls back to my throat when I sleep, so in my case laser treatment on my throat to open the airway and a night guard have significantly reduced my snoring. Often a combination of therapies provide relief.
i highly recommend taking a look at Dr Vik Veer, ENT videos on YouTube- he’s a life saver. Good luck

Dh came home and said he’s sleeping on the sofa tonight from the start. Sofa is 6 months old L shape and he says he finds it comfy (might just be saying that but it was expensive so replacing it isn’t an option - it’s more comfy than standard sofa beds ime). The twins have offered to have a sleep over together so I can sleep in the unused room over the weekend. Might have to play musical beds for a bit or at least until my uni assignment is done (which may be a reason for my sensitivity last night).

He’s also tried calling the hospital 6 times today. No luck but he’ll keep trying.

@Maze76 no and I can’t figure it out. He asked where the noise is coming from… I don’t know, I just want it to stop 😩🤷🏻‍♀️

Agree! God my ex was a terrible snorer. It’s taken me months to even accept the dog in the same room now