Snoring - I’m so tired and angry that this is my life now

[TeenLifeMum]

Has anyone found a solution to snoring?

i love dh - he’s great in so so many ways but this morning I yelled and cried. I’m so bloody tired. Our dc are teens and so we’re beyond the waking in the night stage but I rarely get a full night of sleep because he’s started snoring. It used to only be when he had a cold but now it’s every night.

He’s been to the gp and saw someone in the ent team in April but still waiting for a referral date for the next step. He chased this morning after my meltdown. So he is trying. He’s using sprays etc and I’ve tried ear plugs but hated those.

I love him but want to kill him at the same time (not actually going to kill him).

I’m sad I don’t want to sleep with dh in the same bed and jealous of my dc with their own bedrooms. No spare rooms as we have 3dc in a 4 bed house.

I’m just so tired and struggling to accept this is my life now.

Try a sleep app on your phone, white noise, helps drown them out. I can't sleep without mine.

Can your GP contact the hospital on his behalf - stress that it’s impacting on your mental health. Alternatively, can they you in touch with your local ENT clinic?
A google search for local clinics will bring up some options- I think if you pin down the cause you can try different therapies - You wrote that he previously had polyps but that doesn’t necessarily mean that is the cause- that could be incidental.

If you moved the desk out of the study would there be enough space in the study?

Good idea.

Come on Op, why wouldn’t this work?

CPAP machine is literally the only option here. I feel for you. Nothing worse. Insist he gets checked for sleep apnea and gets set up with a mask and machine. Good luck!

I know how you feel. I end up on the sofa most nights.

Here's a solution from IKEA, a bunkbed with a built in desk underneath - it says its 104cms wide and 205cms long, surely it would fit even in the smallest room.
It would be a couple of hundred pounds investment (not to mention the hell of putting it together) but would still allow you to have an extra space to sleep if you needed it and keep your office space.

https://www.ikea.com/ie/en/p/smastad-loft-bed-frame-w-desk-and-storage-white-50454036/

@Farmageddon 200cm would mean you can’t open the door to enter. It’s a new build purpose built study not a bedroom. Could get a toddler bed in but I’m too tall for that. Width wise I can stand in the middle of the room and almost touch both walls. It’s best described as a cupboard with a window.

Does he only snore if he's on his back?

My granny tells a tale of sewing a golf ball into her husband's pajama top pocket, and making him wear it backwards so he didn't lie on his back!

Apparently it worked?! 😂

DH sleeps on the sofa for the exact same reason. Love him, hate his snoring.

I've done this when I've stayed in a hotel with partner. I use my Bluetooth ear plugs with listening to rain and thunder sounds. It does help.

I feel for you OP. I am knackered the next day as I've hardly slept.

@ElFupacabra because it’s not a bedroom size room it’s a purpose built study. I could entirely empty the room and still couldn’t fit a single bed in length ways. It’s a small room downstairs never intended to be a bedroom. Would fit a cot bed/toddler bed. It currently has a desk and a chair in it.

Do you feel you're also dealing with muscular tension if you're being woken up? That stress is enough to make your muscles knot up. It's horrible.

Have you tried drowning the snoring out with white noise? I play a YouTube ‘ten hour fan’ and it’s pretty good

The only thing I've found with my ear plugs is they can ache after a bit.

My husband snores so badly. It's even worse now he's gained weight. He's sleeping on the sofa at the moment. I usually wear ear plugs and have for over a decade but they've given me an ear infection. I'd love it if we had a sore room. I find the blow up air mattress comfortable so I may start sleeping in the lounge soon.

*Spare room

@Wonkasworld I had a back neck and shoulder massage this month and have another booked for November (dh’s suggestion because my shoulders are so tense - although there are other factors).

Right, I’m off to bed alone. Night all.

Goodnight, fingers crossed for tonight x

I understand you are feeling tired and stressed but I feel strongly you should avoid yelling at your husband about this. It's not his fault, and he is likely feeling fucking humiliated by the entire situation - I know I would.

He is pursuing an appointment to help with this potentially embarrassing problem with diligence and alacrity - I don't think I would do the same and I don't know many who would! In this man I think you are truly blessed!

You are also blessed to have children willing to accommodate you; a large house with many rooms; a husband willing to sleep on the sofa.

Sometimes we have to adapt to conditions that seem hard to start with. Due to PTSD (long story) my husband now can't sleep without noise in the background - we have the radio on all night. It maddened me at first. But the choice was to insist he suffered; to sleep apart from the man I love; or to let my body adjust and deal with it. It's fine now honestly!

I don't mean this to sound patronising - I realise you are tired and tiredness is hard. But it also sounds like you have a really loving family who massively care about your well-being, so I would really urge you to count your blessings on that score.

I know you have tried ear plugs and so did I - none of them worked - until I found these.

You need to remove the fluffy covering and then warm them up in your hand as made of soft wax. Then put in each ear pushing hard and well until they mould to your ear.

Life changing for me ... really ... and after giving up on many other brands, I would say these kept me away from a lawyer !

That mouthguard thingy @ghislaine posted fixed my DP's snoring. He bought it from Boots, took a few days to get used to the feel of it but he now sleeps well in it and I only hear the faintest rattle from him.

I am a light sleeper and have teen shift workers coming and going so often have noise cancelling earbuds in, playing music or a podcast very quietly, for the first few hours of the night, plus there's always a fan going for white noise. But DP doesn't bother me at all anymore, even without those things.

@Ilovelurchers seriously my dh and dc are the best! (Dh also does most of the clothes washing in the house and we definitely work as a team). I know he hates it but this morning it bubbled over. I just burst into tears and said something like “I can’t carry on like this, I’m just so fucking tired”. I’ve apologised this evening and said I know it’s not his fault. I love him to bits.

He hasn’t been diligently chasing, he did today after realising the impact it’s having on me. But I do appreciate he’s trying. Doesn’t make me less tired though sadly.

Hi OP, I'm just coming at this from a slightly different angle, I'm a long term insomniac. I recognise in your posts how lack of sleep makes us feel.
I totally understand why you feel desperate and I feel how annoying the nice posters are who want to solve the problem.
Over my years of not having enough sleep I came to understand how emotional it made me. Its hard I get it.
Luckily I'm a teacher so I can just take it out on the children. That's a joke by the way.
I have only understanding to offer. I see you as they say on American TV shows.

Share with your daughter for now - you need to sleep!

In the meantime research the wide variety of earplugs and snoring solutions, try everything. Could you potentially convert the attic or get a garden cabin thing?