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Original poster

How soon did you sleep with someone?

126 replies

Cherriesandstrawberries · 15/10/2023 20:35

I’m going on a 2nd and 3rd date next weekend, two nights in a row with same guy. I know everyone has different opinions of when to do the deed but I’m thinking the 3rd date
if it goes well?

Wondering others opinion if that’s too soon? Or how soon did others? We’re both late 30’s and looking for a relationship…

OP posts:
fourelementary · 15/10/2023 20:36

Ummm depends on time between dates? As adults you can do as you please…

Iamuhtredsonofuhtred · 15/10/2023 20:40

Half an hour? I’m maybe not the best person to ask….

Hermittrismegistus · 15/10/2023 20:40

I don't think there is a time scale. Just have sex when it feels right for you both.

Kate9423 · 15/10/2023 20:41

This is very subjective and depends on you, them and now you feel.

I have on first dates, second dates and sixth dates.

All were different, all also wanted to at different stages.

My DH was the sixth date out of those though!

ShellySarah · 15/10/2023 20:41

Waited nearly 2 months. 3 dates is far too early for me anyway.

Ponderingwindow · 15/10/2023 20:41

I’ve never slept with anyone until I was fairly certain we were going to be considering a permanent relationship. That doesn’t mean we were engaged, but definitely several months in, exclusively dating, and thinking this might be the one.

other people want more casual
sexual encounters, but I just don’t have any interest in that. I need the emotional and intellectual connection to be there first.

Original poster
Cherriesandstrawberries · 15/10/2023 20:41

Yes probably overthinking it and would quite like to soon 😂

OP posts:
Simonjt · 15/10/2023 20:41

No one elses time scale will be right for you, your own is the only one that will work for you. Me and my husband had been dating for about 4.5 months before we had sex.

Perfectlystill · 15/10/2023 20:42

The third date usually

Blushingm · 15/10/2023 20:42

Current DP was 6 hours

ExDH was about 6 weeks

hellohellothere · 15/10/2023 20:43

I met my husband at a party and he asked me out on a date. We slept together on that date. Slept with my ex before him straight away too. Just when it feels right.

scrantonelectriccity · 15/10/2023 20:43

It's up to you! I slept with DP the day I met him and we've been together 8 years and have 2 DC now

Original poster
Cherriesandstrawberries · 15/10/2023 20:46

Nice to hear it can be quite instant for some and it’s worked out. I suppose I was worried that he won’t put effort in if it’s too soon but he seems to genuinely be looking for a relationship

OP posts:
Kate9423 · 15/10/2023 20:46

Cherriesandstrawberries · 15/10/2023 20:46

Nice to hear it can be quite instant for some and it’s worked out. I suppose I was worried that he won’t put effort in if it’s too soon but he seems to genuinely be looking for a relationship

Also means you can bail early if they're not what you're looking for sexually too!

Cowlover89 · 15/10/2023 20:47

Same day meeting them 🙈 been together 7 years

Original poster
Cherriesandstrawberries · 15/10/2023 20:47

@Kate9423 that is very true!

OP posts:
Cowlover89 · 15/10/2023 20:48

Pregnant with second dc

GrumpyOldCrone · 15/10/2023 20:49

I’m a first date sex kind of person. If a man is going to be an arsehole, I might as well find out immediately. I’m not remotely interested in a man who has double standards about sex!

Iamclearlyamug · 15/10/2023 20:50

Very subjective.

Current DP was at the end of our second date, which was the night after our first one. I barely left his place after we met. He then left his job and moved into mine after 3 weeks and we've been together just over 2 years now

ExDH was probably 4 months before we DTD, but I was only 17 and fairly inexperienced when we met

asquideatingdough · 15/10/2023 20:51

I waited 6 dates with my current DP. But the key for me is that I wanted both of us to be exclusive and not on the apps anymore. I'm just not into casual encounters, I can't relax and enjoy myself if I don't feel secure with someone. But I had also recently come out of a long term and very dysfunctional relationship so was feeling vulnerable. Just do what feels right for you and you'll be fine.

NineteenOhEight · 15/10/2023 20:52

Kate9423 · 15/10/2023 20:46

Also means you can bail early if they're not what you're looking for sexually too!

Show quote history

Well, exactly. I don’t want to fall for someone and discover months in that we’re completely sexually incompatible!

AMuser · 15/10/2023 20:52

3rd date for me - still together over 2 years later.

im intrigued tho that after one date you’ve booked in 2 more dates. What if you get the ick on date 2. I guess cancel

piscofrisco · 15/10/2023 20:52

Second date with dh

Loubelle70 · 15/10/2023 20:53

Ponderingwindow · 15/10/2023 20:41

I’ve never slept with anyone until I was fairly certain we were going to be considering a permanent relationship. That doesn’t mean we were engaged, but definitely several months in, exclusively dating, and thinking this might be the one.

other people want more casual
sexual encounters, but I just don’t have any interest in that. I need the emotional and intellectual connection to be there first.

Same.
When younger i didn't care when but now older i don't jump into bed with anyone...even if they're absolutely 'me'. Ive been hurt too much and taken for granted in relationships and one element is that i gave myself away too early and easily.
Id rather be alone than having sex too early. I need to be ready, loads dates, and being asked to be exclusive, he/she has to make and plan initial dates and show theyre interested consistently otherwise im outta there before it's really started.
I don't need sex, i want it, i can wait, if that differs from person im dating then we are incompatible. I want intimacy. So , it can vary person to person but trust is the biggy

PlugHoley · 15/10/2023 20:53

It varied, but the 4th date with my DH of 28 years was actually a holiday and well the rest is history.

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