DD (21) has been/is in a horrible relationship for about 18 months.
(Although this is long, there’s a hell of a lot more to this but I know people here IRL and don’t really want to out myself, or her. Have NC for this.)
She is currently back living with me after a few awful, awful weekends where he has provoked her into self-harm, suicide attempts and drinking too much with his cruel words.
He is manipulative, misogynistic, believes all women are evil and crazy like his mother, is mentally and financially abusive. Coercive control. Hates her few friends, you know, the ‘usual crap’.
He persuaded her to move in with him (ie rent a place together) after just 5 months, and he didn’t want her to tell me their plans, so I found out only a week before she left. Red flags everywhere.
They recently moved to a new town, further away, so she was unable to get to her work. She doesn’t drive, and there’s no public transport. She was paying her entire daily wages for cabs until she had to resign.
He also called the police on her at least a couple of times this past month, I believe (she ran away from him last weekend and they picked her up). He’s (poss maliciously) reported her too for physical abuse but the police found no evidence, took no further action.
he has also said he intends to get her sectioned. And he nearly succeeded last weekend (he works in social care, so knows the words to use).
Her mental health is fragile, always has been. GP has upped her meds now. Boyfriend forwarded a letter to her from his local mental health hospital yesterday but I don’t know what it says.
She was released (from hospital) into my care a week ago. So far, so good. She’s calm, doesn’t seem heartbroken. We’ve had some laughs and lovely time this week.
But, I am terrified she will go back to him. I believe he’s said he will ‘take her back once she’s had help’.
She's not talking to me about it all - much. A few bits here and there but while she was with him, all day, every day. He knows I know a LOT about their life and is furious. And is now apparently at war with me! Hah!
I’ve found a counsellor for her to talk to next week (no idea how I’ll afford it, but that’s the least of my worries).
All her stuff is still at the house. and her pet. She won’t discuss getting any of it back, which is why I think she plans to return.
But I need to know how to help her leave for good, for her sanity. And mine.
he is obsessed with money - he writes IOUs even though he earns 10x what she did - even now when she’s earning nothing.
Pretty sure he will come at her for rent soon.
and how does she get off the tenancy?
My mind is all over the place. Apologies for the length, I just need some outside input on how to help her escape this guys clutches.