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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH is obsessed with sex

115 replies

Oysterpearls · 14/10/2023 13:50

I can’t work out if I’m married to a 15 year old or if he is actually obsessed with sex. But I feel like we can’t have a conversation without innuendo of some kind. And it’s happening in front of the kids which I hate, they are too young to understand at the moment but I still hate it. An example, ds likes a song about a tractor and it says something about move the great long spout. DH says oh I’ll move my great long spout later. It’s stuff like that, constant. And it’s really getting me down. I feel like all he sees when he sees me is something to shag.

OP posts:
MiddleParking · 14/10/2023 13:52

How revolting. I couldn’t bear to look at him.

Mumoftwotoddlers · 14/10/2023 13:52

Have you told him to stop speaking inappropriately in front of the children and that it makes you uncomfortable? If not, YABU

theduchessofspork · 14/10/2023 13:52

I hope this isn’t real

But if it is, tell him you are going to clamp shut permanently if he doesn’t knock it off. It’s repulsive. Maybe try miming vomiting if he forgets.

Original poster
Oysterpearls · 14/10/2023 13:52

I’m not posting on AIBU.

OP posts:
hellohelp · 14/10/2023 13:54

Do you already say something when he does this? What's his response?

Mumoftwotoddlers · 14/10/2023 13:54

Sorry, I didn't look at the topic. The question still stands, if he doesn't know you're uncomfortable he isn't going to stop.

BlastedPimples · 14/10/2023 13:54

My ex was like this.

The dcs are older now and they absolutely hate it. They cringe and find it dire.

In fact, they spend very little time with him. Lots of reasons but his constant innuendo is one of them.

Humidititties · 14/10/2023 13:56

Mumoftwotoddlers · 14/10/2023 13:54

Sorry, I didn't look at the topic. The question still stands, if he doesn't know you're uncomfortable he isn't going to stop.

He shouldn't need telling to not act like this, especially in front of the fucking kids!

Orio2023 · 14/10/2023 13:58

He sounds fucking revolting and I presume you’ve told him how it makes you feel.

If that’s the case consider the possibility that he’s doing it on purpose to degrade you. Does he also jack russel you when you bend over?

Original poster
Oysterpearls · 14/10/2023 14:00

I don’t know what jack russell is, outside of a breed of dog.

I have told him but I probably could do with doing so more firmly or really emphasising how uncomfortable I find it.

OP posts:
2jacqi · 14/10/2023 14:02

that is horrible!!

Moonlamp · 14/10/2023 14:04

Honestly this would give me the ick so badly.
It's not the inference, it's just so juvenile, such a childish puerile sense of humour.

You're not living in a carry on film 🤮

Original poster
Oysterpearls · 14/10/2023 14:05

Well yes, it is horrible and makes me feel just awful.

OP posts:
itsmyp4rty · 14/10/2023 14:09

Was he like this when you met him? I think you need to bring this up with him and tell him it needs to stop because you find it disgusting and completely inappropriate. Is he always this immature or is it just over this?

Phineyj · 14/10/2023 14:10

Your husband and the father of your kids regularly says things to you that are horrible and make you feel awful.

What do you get out of this relationship?

Janieforever · 14/10/2023 14:11

So properly tell him, we aren’t going to do it for you.

LaurieStrode · 14/10/2023 14:12

I binned a man who was otherwise great. Looked a lot like Cary Grant but the constant puerile innuendo made me feel I was with a 15 year old boy.

Tell him in all seriousness that it must stop immediately.

Orio2023 · 14/10/2023 14:13

He heard you just fine when you said it the first time. If he did this in the workplace he’d get done for sexual harassment.

Tell him again. Once. Then stop having sex with him. Leave the room whenever he does it and acknowledge he’s doing it on purpose to upset and degrade you.

Jack Russell is dry humping someone from behind when they bend over to do something. Is he touching you inappropriately too?

Original poster
Oysterpearls · 14/10/2023 14:15

Right I see. No he isn’t.

OP posts:
ScottChegg · 14/10/2023 14:15

Moonlamp · 14/10/2023 14:04

Honestly this would give me the ick so badly.
It's not the inference, it's just so juvenile, such a childish puerile sense of humour.

You're not living in a carry on film 🤮

I was just thinking it must be like living with Sid James.

Sugarcoatedcandycane · 14/10/2023 14:15

My stepdad used to do this shit. He even made innuendos about my mum to us. I remember watching a cooking show and they were cooking a sausage and he said something like ‘that’s a big long thick sausage, just how you like it’ to my mum. I was 13!!

I kicked off big time. Caused all kinds of issues! My mum would sigh and roll her eyes.

If my DP did that shit I’d hit the roof as it’s really triggering for me.
I don’t consent to other peoples sex thoughts ffs.

Pixiedust1234 · 14/10/2023 14:19

I have told him but I probably could do with doing so more firmly or really emphasising how uncomfortable I find it.
Unfortunately you will have to have a proper discussion. Then every time he says something you have to tell him to stop. Exactly like you would with your children.

If he stops then great. If he doesn't then maybe marriage counselling. If he doesn't want that then you will have to consider if the rest of him is worth sticking around for. My gut feeling is there are other things that are not right as well.

ScottChegg · 14/10/2023 14:20

If he won't stop get some fart spray and squirt him every time he does it.

Passepartoute · 14/10/2023 14:26

I assume he wasn't always like this? And would I be thinking he manages to rein it in at work? If so, tell him to grow up and rein it in in front of the kids, too.

RaininSummer · 14/10/2023 14:26

He sounds like a horny childish embodiment of a carry on film. I would hate that and feel very unlike sharing a bed with him. Or a life