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Original poster

DH is obsessed with sex

115 replies

Oysterpearls · 14/10/2023 13:50

I can’t work out if I’m married to a 15 year old or if he is actually obsessed with sex. But I feel like we can’t have a conversation without innuendo of some kind. And it’s happening in front of the kids which I hate, they are too young to understand at the moment but I still hate it. An example, ds likes a song about a tractor and it says something about move the great long spout. DH says oh I’ll move my great long spout later. It’s stuff like that, constant. And it’s really getting me down. I feel like all he sees when he sees me is something to shag.

OP posts:
canwetalkaboutcake · 14/10/2023 14:27

Has he always been like this? If not, when did it start and why do you think it started?

If he was always this way and you married him anyway, that's your fault. Men like this don't change.

beatrix1234 · 14/10/2023 14:28

Kindly let him know that you find men acting like Benny Hill a total turn-off, tell him it makes your vagina close up fast like a clamp.

Hijohn · 14/10/2023 14:28

Gross op

LaurieStrode · 14/10/2023 14:38

Sugarcoatedcandycane · 14/10/2023 14:15

My stepdad used to do this shit. He even made innuendos about my mum to us. I remember watching a cooking show and they were cooking a sausage and he said something like ‘that’s a big long thick sausage, just how you like it’ to my mum. I was 13!!

I kicked off big time. Caused all kinds of issues! My mum would sigh and roll her eyes.

If my DP did that shit I’d hit the roof as it’s really triggering for me.
I don’t consent to other peoples sex thoughts ffs.

@Sugarcoatedcandycane

That's awful; so sorry you had to deal with it. It's abusive.

Alloveragain3 · 14/10/2023 14:53

If you let him know you genuinely find it distressing and upsetting, and he is continuing, this is a huge red flag.

JaneyGee · 14/10/2023 14:54

Orio2023 · 14/10/2023 13:58

He sounds fucking revolting and I presume you’ve told him how it makes you feel.

If that’s the case consider the possibility that he’s doing it on purpose to degrade you. Does he also jack russel you when you bend over?

Yeah, he really does sound repulsive - like an overgrown 12-year-old. If there is one thing makes my skin crawl it’s immature men.

Jelllytot · 14/10/2023 14:54

Is this a recent development or has he always been like this?

I have the opposite problem, after marriage my DH is suddenly too embarrassed to be flirty or say anything sexual 😞

olderbutwiser · 14/10/2023 14:59

XDH was like this, it was truly horrible. He used to wave his penis at me when I was on the phone to mum. He did just see me as an acquisition, had no real concept of me as a human being. In counselling we were asked why we had married each other. His answer was that I had a lovely figure.

XDH.

Gettingbysomehow · 14/10/2023 15:00

I was married to a man like this who was sex obsessed and a sex pest and I ended up screaming in his face because I was so angry with his constant pestering behaviour. I also told him that he was a vile animal and I hated him which by then I did. He had literally driven me mad.
now we are divorced and it is such a massive relief.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 14/10/2023 15:01

Is this lechy behaviour out of character?

beatrix1234 · 14/10/2023 15:05

@Jelllytot I have the opposite problem, after marriage my DH is suddenly too embarrassed to be flirty or say anything sexual .

Men are so feckin weird.

manilafiller · 14/10/2023 15:07

I was married to a man like this. I knew he was like it before I married him. I needed my 25yo head testing

canwetalkaboutcake · 14/10/2023 15:08

Jelllytot · 14/10/2023 14:54

Is this a recent development or has he always been like this?

I have the opposite problem, after marriage my DH is suddenly too embarrassed to be flirty or say anything sexual 😞

This sounds like a classic case of the Madonna/whore complex

StarDolphins · 14/10/2023 15:12

My ex was like this. Got to the point where I had to stop giving my toddler sausage for tea (“would you like some sausage” “are you hungry for sausage”). Anything I said, it made me cringe in the end. He still does it now & we’ve been split 2 years

Aquamarine1029 · 14/10/2023 15:31

I despise men like your husband, but you are part of the problem if you have not told him explicitly to stop.

Handyweatherstation · 14/10/2023 15:32

I knew a man like this. He used to be a friend, but the constant innuendo really put me off him. I once bought a rather nice, old fashioned butter dish that had some kitchen imagery on it and the words 'Charlotte Watson's Butter Box' and he used to read the words out and snigger like a teenager every time he saw it. In the end I just bought a new butter dish, but I should have dumped him as a friend first.

LaurieStrode · 14/10/2023 15:39

olderbutwiser · 14/10/2023 14:59

XDH was like this, it was truly horrible. He used to wave his penis at me when I was on the phone to mum. He did just see me as an acquisition, had no real concept of me as a human being. In counselling we were asked why we had married each other. His answer was that I had a lovely figure.

XDH.

My god. What a pig he was.

Damnedidont · 14/10/2023 15:58

Show him this thread.

NewDogOwner · 14/10/2023 16:20

To do this in front of children is abusive. Fred West used to do that.

MsRosley · 14/10/2023 16:22

I had a number of years of this kind of innuendo until I just banned it. I explained I didn't find it funny, and it just made him look puerile. He has never done it since. Thank god.

TinChristmas · 14/10/2023 16:24

Doing it in front of the children and normalising sexual behaviour is actually a red flag.
Sit him down when the kids aren’t around and say it’s very I appropriate and it actually has the opposite effect on you of not making you feel sexy one bit.

Tdcp · 14/10/2023 16:57

My dp is like this. I hate it.

VeridicalVagabond · 14/10/2023 17:01

Mumoftwotoddlers · 14/10/2023 13:54

Sorry, I didn't look at the topic. The question still stands, if he doesn't know you're uncomfortable he isn't going to stop.

Sorry but no, it's not her responsibility to train him to be a decent human being. Can we stop placing the burden of men's bad behaviour onto the shoulders of women?

A grown man shouldn't need to be told that behaving like a horny teenage boy is unattractive and inappropriate.

Astonishing · 14/10/2023 17:04

It's not on, especially around the kids. Definitely don't watch the tractor episode with the buck rake near him!

JFDIYOLO · 14/10/2023 17:06

@VeridicalVagabond and yet they do need to be told in very short sentences, small words and concepts they understand:
'It's a real turn off when you do that' may be your starter with this one.