DH is obsessed with sex

[Oysterpearls]

I can’t work out if I’m married to a 15 year old or if he is actually obsessed with sex. But I feel like we can’t have a conversation without innuendo of some kind. And it’s happening in front of the kids which I hate, they are too young to understand at the moment but I still hate it. An example, ds likes a song about a tractor and it says something about move the great long spout. DH says oh I’ll move my great long spout later. It’s stuff like that, constant. And it’s really getting me down. I feel like all he sees when he sees me is something to shag.

I had an ex like this I think it's just some people's sense of humour but it's gross when it's all the time. It's actually the main reason I broke up with him

If you can talk to him when the children aren't around do you think you can get him to understand how this is making you feel and how much he is doing it? Maybe referencing JS will help him to understand that it's inappropriate in front of the children. Then you need to agree what you will do if he doesn't stop. If you don't want to make too much fuss in public how does he propose you should address it? You could say "Yuck" "Not funny" "Carry on jokes again", mime being sick or whatever, so long as you're drawing his attention to his behaviour.

I don't think some posters realise that certain behaviours can creep in very very slowly, over a long period of time.

He does sound obsessed with sex. It seems like it doesn't take much to trigger his thinking in that direction. It's one think to have a wink-wink moment every now and again which is shared between couples, but those constant sexual remarks are very tedious and a big turn off.

You cant expect every poster to just say nice things about it op.

Funnily enough I was in the pub with a friend tonight talking about a bloke at her gym who behaves like this and how uncomfortable it makes her. She also said some women there enable his behaviour by laughing and snorting when he comes out with sexual innuendo all the time. She's planning on ringing the manager to say she's uncomfortable with this blokes behaviour.

Is he like this around other women? In other settings?

You cant expect every poster to just say nice things about it op.

Well I’d have expected people to show compassion and kindness.
MN is brutal, not just at times. And once someone is starting to ‘attack’ there is always a pile up.

Which is never helpful when people are posting and they are struggling - aka they are already vulnerable.

And beliefs like the one you hold dint help tbh.
As I said before, I think it says more about you/some other posters than ot says about the OP….

If he knows it makes you feel horrible and he still keeps doing it then it's no fault of your own. He should respect how you feel and change the way he acts towards you. No other way about it.

How about you have a conversation about his innuendos and sexual language are inappropriate in front of children.
He either doesn't understand this or doesn't care. When you find which one it is, then you need to make a decision.

''not in front of the children, darling" was a phrase we sometimes heard our parents use. We didn't understand, which was the whole point.

You do sound a bit uptight if I'm honest. Especially if the relationship is otherwise good. The snapping at people asking when it started, which is a completely reasonable question in the context of the post, makes me suspect he's long been like it, but you married and had kids with him anyway, and have now moved the goal posts in terms of what humour is acceptable.

I wouldn't stress about the kids...Loads of us grew up in the 80s, when even kids TV programmes were rife with innuendo - and it went totally over our heads. It's something many of us look back on with amusement now:

Ffs at "uptight" from a pp.

Everyone is different but I for one would be very "uptight" about my dh making sausage jokes in front of my dc (he would never).

I'm so done with people using phrases like uptight, prude, frigid, about perfectly reasonable sexual boundaries.

I love sex, I regularly have glorious, triumphant, pleasurable sex, but I draw the line at crude jokes about it. Even when kids aren't present but especially if they are. If this makes me uptight, I am proud to be uptight.

Uptight! 😂

Op, your h sounds like a dickhead.

After a recent thread in aibu, I can't help but wonder how many of those who have told the OP she's uptight, she not making it clear enough, that it was fine (40!!!) years ago, are male?

It is not acceptable.

She’s “uptight because she’s not OK with her creep of a husband continuously making sexual contact innuendo/jokes infront of the kids?

(Next thing I’ll hear on this thread is Jimmy Savile was a nice man)

I'd have to tell him to stop this. It's making you uncomfortable. It was totally gross me out.
Has he always been like it or has this just started.

"Charlotte Watson's Butter Box" 😁That's a good'un in fairness

Anyway, OP, I have a juvenile sense of humour yet I find innuendos wear thin after a while if they are constant. Sometimes we can find things funny initially (did you ever?) but if circumstances or the dynamic changes it can go from amusing to disgusting.