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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Husband grumpy if I haven’t made dinner

136 replies

Anon1234567891 · 11/10/2023 10:58

My H goes to a hobby 2 or 3 nights a week. On these nights he wants to have dinner early, pretty much when he comes in. If I haven’t started it he is moody/grumpy and will start stomping around doing the dinner. I get in after I have picked up the DC from school so haven’t really got an excuse but the other day I was under the impression he was going to do himself a quick tea but apparently I was wrong. This is one of the many things he is critical/grumpy about so maybe this is why I am annoyed about it when it is “my job”. Just wondered if I am being unreasonable if I haven’t done it or if it’s fair I have to stick to his strict timetable just because he’s going out.

OP posts:

Loubelle70 · 13/10/2023 09:06

Denimdreams · 11/10/2023 13:05

This man is behaving abusively and your response is to suggest being more organised🙄
You are backing up the idea that he is right to treat her like this.
Derision is abuse

Show quote history

Yep

Loubelle70 · 13/10/2023 09:09

OP said '...i know i should be doing this...

No. You shouldn't. He is doing what he wants to do by going out.. that's fine. Its also fine for you to not want to rush around preparing his tea because he wants to go out.

Danni86OCV · 13/10/2023 23:32

Get him a microwave meal and tell him sort himself out.

DiscoBeat · 13/10/2023 23:44

Is your cooking agreed ahead of time in terms of sharing out jobs or does he just think you do it all? If so give him a mini bowl of nursery food and a little glass of milk and tell him to make his own if he wants grown up food!

Ndhdiwntbsivnwg · 14/10/2023 10:03

this is toxic on both ends.
get a full time job and then he can sod off

Acornsoup · 14/10/2023 10:10

Ndhdiwntbsivnwg · 14/10/2023 10:03

this is toxic on both ends.
get a full time job and then he can sod off

Why the hell should she? She's not doing anything wrong. Just going about her business, looking after the kids and she is still making dinner.

Blondebrunette1 · 15/10/2023 09:39

The people asking does she work 🤔. I read she does but even if she didn't, what do regular adults who don't live with the mother of their child do for dinner? Are they entitled to an obviously "less hard working" woman to cook for them. Presumably, they adult and feed themselves? Most mums I know don't stop, it's amazing how so many of us believe we're/they're duty bound to take care of everything else if employed for less hours/earn less.

MumDaisy1980 · 16/10/2023 02:05

When you come home and want dinner to be served the moment you step in, who’s making you one??

Guavafish1 · 16/10/2023 03:07

I'd make him a cheese sandwich

Loubelle70 · 16/10/2023 08:04

Guavafish1 · 16/10/2023 03:07

I'd make him a cheese sandwich

After his tirade he would get sweet F.A 😊

WhatWouldJeevesDo · 16/10/2023 11:13

Guavafish1 · 16/10/2023 03:07

I'd make him a cheese sandwich

why? He is obviously not going to be happy with a cheese sandwich and it doesn’t advance the work of making dinner for everyone else.
Making another adult a different meal is even more irritating than everyone eating earlier, I would think.

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