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Original poster

I think she's being scammed..

129 replies

tigereyes10 · 25/09/2023 15:49

Hi, I'm not sure if this is the right place to post so feel free to report/have it moved. I'm really worried about a colleague..a couple of months ago she told me she'd been talking to a man online and was very excited by it, then another day she confided in me that he was famous but couldn't say who...then another day she told me it was Jeremy Kyle & they'd met via Facebook. This woman is in her 50s, never had a relationship, is fairly socially awkward & I know she's lonely, I don't want to call her vulnerable but she probably is - the perfect recipe for a scammer! I told her at the time to be careful, it probably wasn't him, never send money etc but she wouldn't have it and said it was definitely him. Then she told a couple of other people and it ended up getting spread around work..some people finding it funny, some finding it worrying. But it died down & she told me he'd gone to prison and they weren't talking anymore. Fast forward to last week, she told me they were still talking..he's promising to come to her house when he gets out of prison, wants to send her handbags etc etc...I'm trying not to be mean to her but I keep reminding her that there's a very high chance (100%!!) That it's not him, it would be in the media if JK was locked up. But she's really adamant it's him, she's totally brainwashed by the idea and nothing I say is changing her mind. I've tried to stay out of it because if it makes her happy talking to someone online then who am I to get involved. However, today she's told me that she's going to take out a £30,000 loan to bail him out of prison, and she's going to be repaying £75 a month for years...but in her eyes she's doing the right thing and she's helping him. She won't listen when I tell her not to send money or get into debt for a man she's never met regardless of the fact it's definitely a scammer. How can I help her? I'm honestly tempted to call 101 and ask for their advice because I can't let her send him that money! X

OP posts:
Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 07:22

She has repeatedly lied to the OP

but still the OP thinks that this must be true

Net123456 · 26/09/2023 07:26

It would take over 30 years to pay off £30,000 at £75 a month, that's without including any interest which would obviously be added

DatingDinosaur · 26/09/2023 07:41

Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 07:22

She has repeatedly lied to the OP

but still the OP thinks that this must be true

I read it as the OP believes her colleague believes it to be true and can't/wont be convinced otherwise by anything the OP says to her.

Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 07:52

DatingDinosaur · 26/09/2023 07:41

I read it as the OP believes her colleague believes it to be true and can't/wont be convinced otherwise by anything the OP says to her.

Show quote history

I think the entire thing is a fantasy so work colleagues think she “has a man”.

The op thinks that what this colleague is saying is actually the case when I think it’s all a figment of the colleagues imagination

theunbelievabletruth · 26/09/2023 09:03

Absolutely go to the police. There will be an adult safeguarding team. I work on one of these and we would look to a fraud prosecution if he is representing himself as someone he isn't.

If she was sending money to someone who was romancing her in his true name but also a scammer - we have very little power to prevent these transfers. If people are in 'sound mind' .

GypsyTartForSchoolLunch · 26/09/2023 10:06

And today Jeremy Kyle has announced he's to become a father again!

mol.im/a/12559537

Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 11:48

GypsyTartForSchoolLunch · 26/09/2023 10:06

And today Jeremy Kyle has announced he's to become a father again!

mol.im/a/12559537

Colleague will probably say it’s hers

OP will believe her!

CosyCoffee · 26/09/2023 13:18

I don't understand why people are saying the OP is gullible and that her friend is making it all up. Why would she make up the bit about him going to jail? That's not something that would impress her workmates surely? I think it's more likely that the friend is very, very vulnerable and is being scammed.

Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 15:02

CosyCoffee · 26/09/2023 13:18

I don't understand why people are saying the OP is gullible and that her friend is making it all up. Why would she make up the bit about him going to jail? That's not something that would impress her workmates surely? I think it's more likely that the friend is very, very vulnerable and is being scammed.

Because that’s what vulnerable fruitcakes do.

they lie
but they don’t have the sense to make it all fit together logically

Name99 · 26/09/2023 16:21

Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 15:02

Because that’s what vulnerable fruitcakes do.

they lie
but they don’t have the sense to make it all fit together logically

Show quote history

OP doesn't think her colleague is on communication with JK does she??

She knows its not true, have you ever met someone who believes their own lies, this is the colleague. She believes it not OP.

Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 16:37

Yes.

But the OP believes the woman actually has a man, albeit a scammer. I don’t believe any man exists in the colleagues life

she has lied freely in the past….

applebee33 · 26/09/2023 17:25

This woman sounds like she has additional needs ?! No one could be that desperate or gullible. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do if she's a grown adult but honestly I'd try speak to her family

DatingDinosaur · 26/09/2023 17:29

Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 07:52

I think the entire thing is a fantasy so work colleagues think she “has a man”.

The op thinks that what this colleague is saying is actually the case when I think it’s all a figment of the colleagues imagination

Show quote history

Ahh, I see where you're coming from now.

Did you see the post where the OP says the colleague has shown her (the OP) text messages from the alleged JK?

I guess the colleague could have sent them to herself if she's so wrapped up in her own world/illusion but Confused

@tigereyes10 Any progress with this yet? Have you decided what to do?

Steev · 26/09/2023 17:32

Call the police. She's going to lose 30k

PollyAmour · 26/09/2023 17:44

How do you know about the Cliff Richard bedroom? If you're a good enough friend to have been invited round, then for goodness sake, you have to do something. Tell her mum and her brother at the very least.

Despite all evidence to the contrary, Jeremy Kyle is in prison and needs £30k to bail him out? She's got a loan for that amount despite being on minimum wage?
She's persisting in the delusion she's in a relationship with him, despite Jeremy Kyle being married with a new baby on the way?

This is a bit like the thread on here where the OP has been chatting to a famous person on Instagram and they (the celebrity) has asked them for money.

DatingDinosaur · 26/09/2023 17:54

Ha ha @PollyAmour I saw that thread too. I fleetingly wondered if it was the OP's colleague. I think someone even asked (on there) whether the famous person was JK 😃

Throwncrumbs · 26/09/2023 17:57

Tell her Jeremy’s about to become a dad for the 6th time, was in the DM yest !

Throwncrumbs · 26/09/2023 18:02

Someone I know goes to see RK and others from a certain boy band and spends all her benefits ( she’s vulnerable and disabled) on the meet and greets afterwards, now that’s scamming, but because she’s willing to pay to have a photo with these low life’s it’s seen as ok. Bloody awful and shouldn’t be allowed. Mega money for a photo with a has been !

Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 18:03

Throwncrumbs · 26/09/2023 18:02

Someone I know goes to see RK and others from a certain boy band and spends all her benefits ( she’s vulnerable and disabled) on the meet and greets afterwards, now that’s scamming, but because she’s willing to pay to have a photo with these low life’s it’s seen as ok. Bloody awful and shouldn’t be allowed. Mega money for a photo with a has been !

That isn’t scamming!

Freezingcoldinseptember · 26/09/2023 18:10

A vulnerable adult I know just lost a grand. A famous person after setting her up selling her artwork online but she had to pay set up fees first... Targeted via her Instagram page that clearly spells out her SN.... She used PayPal family and friends. No come back there.

PollyAmour · 26/09/2023 18:41

Throwncrumbs · 26/09/2023 18:02

Someone I know goes to see RK and others from a certain boy band and spends all her benefits ( she’s vulnerable and disabled) on the meet and greets afterwards, now that’s scamming, but because she’s willing to pay to have a photo with these low life’s it’s seen as ok. Bloody awful and shouldn’t be allowed. Mega money for a photo with a has been !

Ronan Keating and Boyzone?

I might know the same person. She absolutely lives for the meet and greets with 'her boys' though and gets so much pleasure from it. She's not being scammed. She's paying a lot of money to see and speak to her idols.

Haffiana · 26/09/2023 18:53

I am not so sure about this one.

She would not be the first person to decide to pay for an online romance. She will know, deep down that it is not actually Jeremy Kyle, but she is willing to pay for that illusion, to pay for all the attention she is getting without ever needing to face the reality of actually meeting the person. She is an adult and she can have a relationship anyway that she wants, including paying for it. How many hundreds of thousands of people are paying OnlyFans for the illusion that someone on a screen is really into them sexually??

It is probably the ideal relationship for her - god knows, this board has had more than one person write at length about an intense relationship with someone they have never met and will never meet, including going through paroxysms of jealousy when that person has also contacted someone else online. Everyone reading it may be eye-rolling and WTFing, but to that poster, it was the throes of a huge, intense and very real relationship.

Not to mention the long-running limerence threads on here that were people just thrilling themselves and enmeshing themselves further by talking about and sharing the details of their limerence crushes. The threads were just an excuse to indulge their addiction further...

So OP - when she is telling you about all this she is sharing her enjoyment with you. She is making it all even more exciting for herself because she is bringing it more into the real world and extending her time engaged in her fantasy.

CosyCoffee · 26/09/2023 19:06

Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 16:37

Yes.

But the OP believes the woman actually has a man, albeit a scammer. I don’t believe any man exists in the colleagues life

she has lied freely in the past….

I can't see where the OP has mentioned her friend lying in the past?

Name99 · 26/09/2023 20:02

Nope I don't think she's said the colleague has lied freely in the past either

Naunet · 27/09/2023 13:01

Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 11:48

Colleague will probably say it’s hers

OP will believe her!

Show quote history

What in earth are you talking about? Why would OP believe that? She’s concerned for this woman and think she’s being scammed, not believing that she’s actually talking to JK.

Some really bizarre replies on this thread.