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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I think she's being scammed..

129 replies

tigereyes10 · 25/09/2023 15:49

Hi, I'm not sure if this is the right place to post so feel free to report/have it moved. I'm really worried about a colleague..a couple of months ago she told me she'd been talking to a man online and was very excited by it, then another day she confided in me that he was famous but couldn't say who...then another day she told me it was Jeremy Kyle & they'd met via Facebook. This woman is in her 50s, never had a relationship, is fairly socially awkward & I know she's lonely, I don't want to call her vulnerable but she probably is - the perfect recipe for a scammer! I told her at the time to be careful, it probably wasn't him, never send money etc but she wouldn't have it and said it was definitely him. Then she told a couple of other people and it ended up getting spread around work..some people finding it funny, some finding it worrying. But it died down & she told me he'd gone to prison and they weren't talking anymore. Fast forward to last week, she told me they were still talking..he's promising to come to her house when he gets out of prison, wants to send her handbags etc etc...I'm trying not to be mean to her but I keep reminding her that there's a very high chance (100%!!) That it's not him, it would be in the media if JK was locked up. But she's really adamant it's him, she's totally brainwashed by the idea and nothing I say is changing her mind. I've tried to stay out of it because if it makes her happy talking to someone online then who am I to get involved. However, today she's told me that she's going to take out a £30,000 loan to bail him out of prison, and she's going to be repaying £75 a month for years...but in her eyes she's doing the right thing and she's helping him. She won't listen when I tell her not to send money or get into debt for a man she's never met regardless of the fact it's definitely a scammer. How can I help her? I'm honestly tempted to call 101 and ask for their advice because I can't let her send him that money! X

OP posts:
FictionalCharacter · 25/09/2023 20:10

Romance fraud: unfortunately quite common https://www.actionfraud.police.uk/a-z-of-fraud/dating-fraud

BurrosTail · 25/09/2023 20:16

Send a tweet to JK on X, asking: “ dear Jeremy, asking for a friend, are you in prison and in need of 30k to be bailed out? A friend is being scammed.” Then show the response to your friend.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 25/09/2023 20:19

I'm leaving this job in 4 weeks ...

If this is for real, then surely that's problem solved?

Sadly you can't protect people from themselves if they have capacity and are determined to be stupid, so I'd just point out that Jeremy Kyle isn't in prison and leave it at that

goingtotown · 25/09/2023 20:28

Jeremy Kyle is live on Talk TV Monday - Friday 7-8pm.

gloriawasright · 25/09/2023 20:32

Not sure how to link this .but maybe she should do a bit of Googling

I think she's being scammed..
LakeTiticaca · 25/09/2023 20:39

I agree, speak to the police . Ask if someone could come round and talk to her. Sounds like "Jeremy " has really done a number on her. Its glaringly obvious it's not Jezza and glaringly obvious she's being scammed

Fallenangelofthenorth · 25/09/2023 20:49

I'd be really surprised if this 30k request is the first one. I've come across this before unfortunately and they normally start much smaller before ramping up to a couple of grand, then maybe 10k. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd already given him thousands.

There's a woman I follow on Twitter who publishes her conversations with these scammers. I think they target her on google hangouts and at one point she was talking to 3 "Keanu Reeves". Jeremy Kyle I'd have thought has far more limited appeal.

I don't think HR would be able to do much other than talk to her. I doubt they could speak to her bank as she has capacity, and they only hold her details for the purpose of paying her salary. Sorry, I don't know what to suggest really.

SpindarellaRockafella · 25/09/2023 20:58

My friends are friends of JK. I have photos on my timeline of them partying together a couple of weekends ago. He is not in prison. I don’t know what your friend will believe but I can share the ‘evidence’ if you PM me and if it helps.

quitequietly202 · 25/09/2023 21:01

tigereyes10 · 25/09/2023 16:13

Thanks for your replies everyone. I posted really because I didn't know who to call/tell about it to protect her. I will call 101 & see what their advice is. Then go from there regarding HR/contacting banks. Thank you! It really angers me that there's people out there that are literally preying on vulnerable people..we aren't talking a couple of hundred pound..this is 30k! She works part time in a minimum wage job, it's scary that she's going to do this for him.

@tigereyes10 she sounds like she has learning difficulties or additional needs. Many years ago I was employed by a charity that supported adults who had SEN or Mental health needs. Many had these type of vulnerabilities. Facebook was a problem for many of these adults as they were highly trusting, and many were financially abused by these 'new friend online friends'. Possibly this woman has a support or social worker involved. It's worth speaking to HR about your concerns, as if they are an equal opportunities employer they may be fully aware of any difficulties she has

onwardsup4 · 25/09/2023 21:03

SpindarellaRockafella · 25/09/2023 20:58

My friends are friends of JK. I have photos on my timeline of them partying together a couple of weekends ago. He is not in prison. I don’t know what your friend will believe but I can share the ‘evidence’ if you PM me and if it helps.

Edited

Just a simple Google search will tell you that though as well. This can not be for real, looks like he has a radio show starting soon. Really bizarre if this woman believes it's actually him and hasn't googled his name .

SpindarellaRockafella · 25/09/2023 21:09

Agree.

Zanatdy · 25/09/2023 21:26

ex colleague of mine gave 5k to someone who conned her, claimed to be a pilot and wanted to send her money and it was that old ‘stuck in customs’ excuse. She’s vulnerable and easy prey. I’ve told her to contact me if she ever feels like sending money again and I’ll tell her it’s a con. She met her ex husband as he sent her a random Facebook friend request. He came over from overseas on a marriage visa. All ended in tears, she is such easy prey.

Contact 101, also her manager and HR. Hopefully the bank will stop the payment. They stopped the second payment for the girl above, she made a 1.5k payment first then they asked for 5k, but bank were onto it. People wonder who falls for these things and it’s people like my ex colleague. Vulnerable and lonely, easily manipulated

addicteetopawpatrol · 25/09/2023 21:35

Go old luck

BridgetJonesAsFuck · 25/09/2023 21:49

Poor lady 😞

ReflectionofYouChanges · 25/09/2023 22:23

Sounds like a romantic cat fish

ReflectionofYouChanges · 25/09/2023 22:27

Look at Joe Lycett the comedian

Some of his comedy takes the XXXX out of real scammers

Although, obviously in real life, scamming is not a laughing matter

DollyDan · 25/09/2023 22:30

He’s in the paper today talking bout expecting baby no 6 with his wife…. Can you show her this??
Jeremy Kyle reveals is set to become a father for the SIXTH time

https://mol.im/a/12559537

Jeremy Kyle reveals is set to become a father for the SIXTH time

The broadcaster, 58, shared the news that he's set to welcome a daughter in the coming months, after he and Victoria welcomed their first child, son Oliver in 2020.

https://mol.im/a/12559537

JustWhatWeDontNeed · 25/09/2023 22:38

She sounds unwell tbh.

Any chance she's messaging herself?

There's no way she's getting a £30k loan from anywhere that will accept £75 a month repayments.

You don't bail people out like that in UK.

You're assuming she's being lied to. I'm assuming she's the one lying.

I agree with approaching HR at work as a matter of concern and leaving it there.

If you really think this man exists, you could definitely alert the real JK and/or try and seek advice from 101.

Stickycurrantbun · 25/09/2023 22:42

As well as contacting Action Fraud I'd try and contact her bank so they can put a stop on her withdrawing or transferring that amount of money, expressing your concern. They have a duty to prevent customers being victim to financial scams.

Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 06:20

I suspect these two gullible adults in this scenario

Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 06:20

There’s

ittakes2 · 26/09/2023 07:01

Maybe approach the real Jeremy Kyle and ask him to call her!

QueenofTerrasen · 26/09/2023 07:06

What bank is giving her a 30k loan for £75 a month?!
None, that's who.

Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 07:21

QueenofTerrasen · 26/09/2023 07:06

What bank is giving her a 30k loan for £75 a month?!
None, that's who.

Exactly

She is completely disillusioned and the op has fallen for it

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