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Original poster

I think she's being scammed..

129 replies

tigereyes10 · 25/09/2023 15:49

Hi, I'm not sure if this is the right place to post so feel free to report/have it moved. I'm really worried about a colleague..a couple of months ago she told me she'd been talking to a man online and was very excited by it, then another day she confided in me that he was famous but couldn't say who...then another day she told me it was Jeremy Kyle & they'd met via Facebook. This woman is in her 50s, never had a relationship, is fairly socially awkward & I know she's lonely, I don't want to call her vulnerable but she probably is - the perfect recipe for a scammer! I told her at the time to be careful, it probably wasn't him, never send money etc but she wouldn't have it and said it was definitely him. Then she told a couple of other people and it ended up getting spread around work..some people finding it funny, some finding it worrying. But it died down & she told me he'd gone to prison and they weren't talking anymore. Fast forward to last week, she told me they were still talking..he's promising to come to her house when he gets out of prison, wants to send her handbags etc etc...I'm trying not to be mean to her but I keep reminding her that there's a very high chance (100%!!) That it's not him, it would be in the media if JK was locked up. But she's really adamant it's him, she's totally brainwashed by the idea and nothing I say is changing her mind. I've tried to stay out of it because if it makes her happy talking to someone online then who am I to get involved. However, today she's told me that she's going to take out a £30,000 loan to bail him out of prison, and she's going to be repaying £75 a month for years...but in her eyes she's doing the right thing and she's helping him. She won't listen when I tell her not to send money or get into debt for a man she's never met regardless of the fact it's definitely a scammer. How can I help her? I'm honestly tempted to call 101 and ask for their advice because I can't let her send him that money! X

OP posts:
Iwillpassthanks · 25/09/2023 16:32

TicTacNicNak · 25/09/2023 16:28

Would someone working PT on min wage even qualify for a £30k loan? Even if she did, it'd cost way more than £75 per month to pay back.

indeed. And she’s in her fifties. Part time time low paid single person

I would be begging her for details of such a loan with a £75 monthly repayment on a £30k loan!

bemorebernard · 25/09/2023 16:32

Action fraud are shite (I work with the. Professionally )

Those saying the woman is lying - I deal with incidents like this and it's way more common than you would think

Last week I stopped an elderly man purchasing £500 of Amazon gift cards for a scammer

He tried to do again the week after

Lonely vulnerable people are sitting ducks . And I've dealt with cases where way more than 30 k has been given - the police may be able to prevent this happening and are the right agency to call

therealcookiemonster · 25/09/2023 16:32

I have another idea... a bit extreme. tell her you'll give her the 30k, not even a loan, give it to her as its vital to get j.k out of prison. but you'll pay directly to prison after you have a prison visit and ask to speak to him directly. no texts, talk on the phone. once you are on the phone tell him, that since he is in prison, you have also spoken to your friends in the police (also tell your friend you have friends in the police and that you will speak to them about getting him out quicker) about him and his situation and he needs to meet you to allow the bail to go through. he will stop all contact after this.

WitcheryDivine · 25/09/2023 16:38

I agree it's common - and they tend to target people who have a vulnerability about them (either MH problems or perhaps a learning disability). I've seen it happen to a man in his 50s who ended up sending £10,000 to some complete stranger and then sent more even after he realised he'd been duped - not sure why? Maybe sunk costs fallacy type thing?

I'm so sorry for your colleague OP, but I doubt "logic-ing" her out of it will work as you have tried and probably others have too. I think speaking to the police locally would be best. Also perhaps alert your boss in case she's asking for advances on her salary or anything like that.

Bloody Jeremy Kyle! The real one is enough trouble as it is.

GarlicGrace · 25/09/2023 16:39

Just here to thank you for the work you do, @bemorebernard. Must be dispiriting sometimes.

Charlize43 · 25/09/2023 16:40

I'd go to the police (for advice at least). I do think someone needs to pay her a visit to show her a much bigger picture.

If she is certain the person is JK, she should contact his management to see if what she is being told correlates with reality. Maybe his management telling her that it is not him will make her see sense?

I don't think it would be particularly difficult to find contact details for celebrity management and they probably would be interested if somebody is impersonating them.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 25/09/2023 16:41

Iwillpassthanks · 25/09/2023 16:32

indeed. And she’s in her fifties. Part time time low paid single person

I would be begging her for details of such a loan with a £75 monthly repayment on a £30k loan!

Show quote history

I was assuming she was talking about extending a mortgage or taking one out. If she owns a property (perhaps inherited) and she's got enough equity then this would be easily possible.

Sasha46 · 25/09/2023 16:44

Someone I know was contacted by a famous singer of a band on Facebook, she was adamant it was him until her sister pointed out he doesn’t have any friends on fb that she believed it.

please call the police and they may be able to help as it’s a welfare issue and also put a tracker on her phone/computer to catch this person.

OvaHere · 25/09/2023 16:45

Send her some of these videos OP. Lots of lonely and vulnerable people are scammed this way. Some truly believe it and some know deep down but get addicted to the attention. Jeremy Kyle is a new one because usually it's Johnny Depp!
https://www.youtube.com/@CatfishedOnline

Before you continue to YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/@CatfishedOnline

Original poster
tigereyes10 · 25/09/2023 16:48

I have no idea regarding the loan, honestly I didn't ask questions about where she was getting it from. Maybe I should've! I don't know much about loans or repayments as I've never needed one. I don't know if it's payday loan type things or a bank. All she said was she'd be paying it off for years. It wouldn't surprise me if it was a lot more than that per month, but she might be embarrassed telling me how much as I told her I didn't think it was a good idea to get herself in debt for him.

OP posts:
uncomfortablydumb53 · 25/09/2023 16:49

It's kind of you to try and enlighten your colleague
I saw recently a lady who was scammed as she thought George Ezra was messaging her
She stands to lose a huge amount of money, and these people are excellent manipulators
I'd ring 101 for advice and ask her to contact her bank
They would likely query a transaction anyway but she'd probably say it's legit

Sunshinenrain · 25/09/2023 16:49

therealcookiemonster · 25/09/2023 16:32

I have another idea... a bit extreme. tell her you'll give her the 30k, not even a loan, give it to her as its vital to get j.k out of prison. but you'll pay directly to prison after you have a prison visit and ask to speak to him directly. no texts, talk on the phone. once you are on the phone tell him, that since he is in prison, you have also spoken to your friends in the police (also tell your friend you have friends in the police and that you will speak to them about getting him out quicker) about him and his situation and he needs to meet you to allow the bail to go through. he will stop all contact after this.

Good idea.

You can tell her it’s a scam all you like but these scammers are very clever and know the right things to say.

If he wants the money then he’ll agree to meeting in person and having a prison visit.

Original poster
tigereyes10 · 25/09/2023 16:49

isthismylifenow · 25/09/2023 16:16

Your title says thinks she is being scammed. She is very definately being scammed.

How he is contacting her now? Still through Facebook, or WhatsApp, Google chat maybe?

Maybe his IP address could be checked. Or the mobile number being used.

Yes my title does say I think she's being scammed...wrongly worded I guess but my OP did say I know she is. I believe contact is solely through text message now..I don't think she has WhatsApp or anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
tigereyes10 · 25/09/2023 16:51

Thanks everyone for your advice, I'll call 101 & also be more firm with her when she talks to me about it and I'll show her some articles etc. Appreciate the advice x

OP posts:
Someoneonlyyouknow · 25/09/2023 17:18

I understand that you are worried your friend will stop confiding in you if you are too harsh with her but if you're leaving your job shortly you don't have much to lose. This doesn't even seem like a clever scam and tbh if you save her from this one there may be others.
Call the police.
Also, re the loan, £30,000 would take more than 33 years to pay back at £75/month without including anything for interest!

Verv · 25/09/2023 17:19

tigereyes10 · 25/09/2023 16:14

She's shown me text messages! She is quite obviously smitten and has fallen for it...not sure why she'd lie about something that is this far fetched! She fully believes it, it's obvious

Show quote history

Ask her to put his phone number into PayPal and see whose name comes up.

Mummapenguin20 · 25/09/2023 17:25

Ask her to use withheld number and call and see who answers x

Original poster
tigereyes10 · 25/09/2023 17:26

Verv · 25/09/2023 17:19

Ask her to put his phone number into PayPal and see whose name comes up.

Show quote history

I doubt she's even got PayPal but I could ask her if she'd put it into mine.

OP posts:
DatingDinosaur · 25/09/2023 17:37

She sounds like a very vulnerable adult, possibly with undiagnosed? mental health conditions. You could log a safeguarding concern to the Police.

Can you get his phone number from her? I’d be inclined to message him directly and tell him this has now been passed to the Police and Crimewatch, who are now looking into it.

It doesn’t matter so much WHO he says he is, it’s more what he’s doing that is the concern.

Edit: Although Jeremy Kyle might be very interested to know someone's trying to impersonate him for financial gain.

EightChalk · 25/09/2023 18:56

Iwillpassthanks · 25/09/2023 16:16

Ttold me she'd been talking to a man online and was very excited by it, then another day she confided in me that he was famous but couldn't say who...then another day she told me it was Jeremy Kyle & they'd met via Facebook.

and you honestly think this woman isn’t capable of telling porkies about this 😂

all those previous times, I am guessing you believed her just like now you do

I think these are all about the same thing - first revealing she was talking to "a man", then that he was famous, then that it was (allegedly) JK - it's all the one series of events. Nothing in this sequence of events seems to indicate she's lying about genuinely believing it's him.

TheGander · 25/09/2023 19:05

It sounds to me like she has autism, the Cliff Richard room is a clue ( obsessive interest, collecting items), vulnerability to manipulation. Not that the knowledge of this would help the situation.

queensonia · 25/09/2023 19:13

In addition to the other good advice on here I would ring Talk TV and speak to the real Jeremy Kyle’s producer. They might want to do a story about this scammer which would also involve ringing your colleague and confirming that he’s not in prison

SirCharlesRainier · 25/09/2023 19:51

Iwillpassthanks · 25/09/2023 16:22

So bizarre she names a celebrity that takes all of two seconds to google to determine she’s talking bs

she’s a liar op. A lonely fantasist. And you are falling for it

Your replies are very odd @Iwillpassthanks . I can't work out if you're trolling or just haven't managed to understand the situation described. Your first response "is being offered" indicates you don't really grasp the full picture, yet you keep on arguing with such confidence. Just weird.

curlysue1991 · 25/09/2023 19:51

She's well down that rabbit hole I'm afraid. My own mother was talking to a scammer for months an "American soldier" and by god it took us months for us to make her realise he was fake, not sure if she even believe it's now tbh, if she well and truly believes it's him there is nothing you can say that will change her mind 😞

Alltheparmesanplease · 25/09/2023 19:59

I echo what a PP said about trying to contact the real JK, letting him know the situation and asking him to do a video. It's a long shot but could be worth it.