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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband doesn’t like me reading

143 replies

JEM61 · 21/09/2023 23:10

Hey all,

So quick one. I want to know if I’m being a total d1ck here. I love to read in bed, my husband sits in bed on his phone and I like to read. However, he gets really sulky and makes a big deal out of it if I read a book in bed. He’s said it’s a tactic I use to ignore him and divide us (!). He’s fine for me to be on my phone and scroll through nothingness, but to pick up a book and read I usually end up apologising for. Anyone else or just me?

OP posts:
AlisonDonut · 21/09/2023 23:11

Can you get separate bedrooms sorted out instead?

Bootskates · 21/09/2023 23:12

He's being ridiculous and controlling. I have never experienced this but have read about it a few times on here and find it really weird.

I love to sit and read and would be annoyed to be moaned at about it.

LunaNorth · 21/09/2023 23:13

Or separate houses?

Actually…separate lives?

Poormepoorme · 21/09/2023 23:13

Wtf? Totally unreasonable on his behalf. Why would you possibly think this is your problem?

HeddaGarbled · 21/09/2023 23:14

Actually…separate lives

Yep

letthemalldoone · 21/09/2023 23:14

He's a dick.

Dotcheck · 21/09/2023 23:15

Bonkers ( him)

fiddlesticksandotherwords · 21/09/2023 23:15

What does he think people did before mobile phones were invented?

EnchantedCastle · 21/09/2023 23:16

The exH I had with a bad attitude to my reading, I divorced.

Precipice · 21/09/2023 23:16

Stop apologising. It's not like he's trying to get to sleep and the light you need to read in bed is keeping him up. It's not like he's trying to have a deep conversation with you and you're engaging more with your book. He wants to have his attention/time go on one thing (his phone) and is trying to control what you do in that same time.

FlamingoFloss · 21/09/2023 23:17

He is being a total dick

CantThinkOfANameAtAll · 21/09/2023 23:17

So you can both read on a phone but not a book? Buy yourself a kindle 😉

Seriously though, consider the peaceful life you could live without him.

thatwassociopathic · 21/09/2023 23:17

I missed out on 15 years of reading thanks to a similar controlling prick. That was just the start. Run now while you still recognise yourself

Bootskates · 21/09/2023 23:17

What does he want you to do when he's on his phone so as not to cause a "divide"? Sit gazing at him lovingly until he's done scrolling?

thatwassociopathic · 21/09/2023 23:18

I now read what the fuck I want while he sleeps in his moms attic 🙂

steppingout · 21/09/2023 23:18

Suggest that he stops projecting his latent guilt over being on his phone instead of spending his time on something more productive/intellectual onto you and see what he says....

GingerIsBest · 21/09/2023 23:19

So, if you were scrolling on your phone and he was scrolling on his, would you be chatting, sharing snippets of interesting tidbits you're reading etc? Or just silently scrolling?

If the former, I can see his point (although I'd still say you have every right to read in bed if you want to). If the latter, he's being a complete dick.

madroid · 21/09/2023 23:22

Very controlling. Does he try to control you in other ways too?

MintJulia · 21/09/2023 23:24

The more I read threads like this, the better being single becomes. 🤗

975zyx · 21/09/2023 23:25

Have my first LTB. You’re welcome.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/09/2023 23:26

Tell us the other ways he tries to control you, because I have no doubt there's a list. Why in the fuck would you apologise for this?

SalmonnomlaS · 21/09/2023 23:26

Leave him. But also get a kindle app on your phone or see if your library does borrow box and then you can read on your phone.

SandyY2K · 21/09/2023 23:26

I don't understand him tbh.

I would of he was trying to sleep and you had the light on, or if he was trying to have a conversation with you, but given he's on his phone, I'm perplexed.

You've nothing to apologise for.

SparkleFromWithin · 21/09/2023 23:26

My dh loves it when I read in bed and he's on his phone ..Apparently it's a turn-on! 😅

Luckingfovely · 21/09/2023 23:48

What an utter turd.