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Original poster

Husband doesn’t like me reading

143 replies

JEM61 · 21/09/2023 23:10

Hey all,

So quick one. I want to know if I’m being a total d1ck here. I love to read in bed, my husband sits in bed on his phone and I like to read. However, he gets really sulky and makes a big deal out of it if I read a book in bed. He’s said it’s a tactic I use to ignore him and divide us (!). He’s fine for me to be on my phone and scroll through nothingness, but to pick up a book and read I usually end up apologising for. Anyone else or just me?

OP posts:
Mothership4two · 23/09/2023 00:17

Goldbar · 22/09/2023 11:39

Maybe tell him you don't like him breathing? Could he either stop doing it altogether or, if he insists on persisting, find somewhere else to do it?

I used to be friends with a couple where the wife used to give her husband a hard time for his loud breathing. Honestly, his breathing was completely normal, but if it hadn't been there wasn't really a lot he could do about it! She was unreasonable in many other respects towards him. Funnily enough he eventually left her (and she was gutted).

Anothagoatthis · 23/09/2023 00:29

This is so scary how many women are saying they’ve experienced this too.

Did you all realise this before you married/move in with your partners? I could never think of settling down with a man who didn’t like me reading.

If he didn’t like reading fair enough but if he disapproved in me doing it, it would be a fast goodbye to him!

I think men who do this must be man babies who don’t like seeing their wife absorbed in something she enjoys without them, or they’re intimidated and somewhat jealous she is doing something they see an intellectual pursuit and expanding her mind.

Any of these reasons are a red flag 🚩 a man who thinks like this doesn’t want the best for you!

I have a friend with a useless and quite selfish partner, she hasn’t read for 15 years. About the same length of time she’s been with her partner. I never put the two things together but now I’m wondering?

Geppili · 23/09/2023 02:18

Manchild

FurthestUPNorth · 23/09/2023 02:37

He is attempting to kill your enjoyment of reading possibly ?

Does he criticise what type of book you read as well ?

This is a red flag

Beware

spitefulandbadgrammar · 23/09/2023 08:10

Can he read? Perhaps he’s just looking at the pictures on his phone.

Howdoesitworkagain · 23/09/2023 08:19

He’s an absolute tool for trying to stop you reading.

Is he very stupid and worried that you’ll become too smart for him?

Or like PP said can he actually read (at all or sufficiently well)?

What he’s saying is just so weird that there has to be something else at play - all of which is for him to sort out; and none of it is for you to stop reading.

Cosmic657 · 23/09/2023 08:29

I’ve experienced this before, I don’t read often as I have 2 kids and my time is limited but when I do it’s seen as a way not to be with OH. Sometimes I’d rather read in an evening than watch tv but he doesn’t like it as thinks I don’t want to spend time with him. Very annoying

Newnamehiwhodis · 23/09/2023 08:37

He’s utterly unreasonable. (Signed, a librarian)

HumanBurrito · 23/09/2023 08:43

spitefulandbadgrammar · 23/09/2023 08:10

Can he read? Perhaps he’s just looking at the pictures on his phone.

Fuck that shit. I would dump the husband before I switched to reading on a tiny screen.

HumanBurrito · 23/09/2023 08:44

Oops, quoted the wrong post sorry! It was meant to be the one telling her to switch to reading on her phone.

NewDogOwner · 23/09/2023 08:45

Some insecure men don't like women doing anything vaguely intellectual in a ' D'y think you're better than me?' kind of way.

myrtlehuckingfuge · 23/09/2023 08:52

What else has he suggested that you are doing which is divisive? Are you expected to be on standby for his every word and witticism? It doesn't sound like you are destroying his sleep. Couldn't stand this, it seems like an attempt to control your thoughts- preventing you getting lost in a book.

Wishfulthinkingmaybe1 · 23/09/2023 10:43

My ex, although he read, didn't like me reading when he wanted us to watch something on TV. I wasn't a big watcher of TV, but he kept insisting I gave programmes he liked 'a chance', which I did. There were things that we did enjoy watching together, though. However, after giving his chosen programmes a chance and then going back to reading, albeit while sitting beside him, he didn't like it

MrsSkylerWhite · 23/09/2023 13:58

Lovesgreen · Yesterday 20:42

“Kindle app on your phone, problem sorted”

Err, no. Tell him to STFU. Problem sorted. OP doesn’t want to look at a phone, she wants to read a book, as is her right.

MrsSkylerWhite · 23/09/2023 13:59

spitefulandbadgrammar · Today 08:10

Can he read? Perhaps he’s just looking at the pictures on his “

Occurred to me, too. Alarming number of adults can’t.

Blahblahblah2 · 23/09/2023 14:27

He sounds insane?

Cranberriesandtea · 23/09/2023 16:26

Yes because reading is often referred to as the "relationship killer" he needs to tell you how he is really feeling instead of projecting onto you some bullshit that is really him feeling a certain way but doesn't want to own it.

Nanny0gg · 23/09/2023 17:19

JEM61 · 21/09/2023 23:10

Hey all,

So quick one. I want to know if I’m being a total d1ck here. I love to read in bed, my husband sits in bed on his phone and I like to read. However, he gets really sulky and makes a big deal out of it if I read a book in bed. He’s said it’s a tactic I use to ignore him and divide us (!). He’s fine for me to be on my phone and scroll through nothingness, but to pick up a book and read I usually end up apologising for. Anyone else or just me?

What are you apologising for?

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